Apparently so...

  Click on the pic and try to make it as full-size as possible. Screencap from Salon. Direct your eyes to the AP headlines on the left. I'm thinking some web layout person's having a giggle fit in his/her cubicle.

Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe

The fugging it up gals ask Patricia Arquette and Thomas Jane why they opted for Wild West outfits at a diabetes research gala. But the answer is just to the left of his head. They can't help it if they got a little confused. What kind of name is that for a jewelry company anyway...

Movie Diary (one crazy cat edition)

A Bucket of Blood: Early Corman, done around the same time as Little Shop of Horrors, written by the same guy and with similar themes. Caused Team Brown to realize who Dick Miller is, resorting to nearby reference works early in the film after J commented that he looked like the drunk guy from Gremlins. Which he does for a reason. I think it's a good movie for frustrated artists to see, especially those that do have some talent, and Miller is great at creating a character who clearly doesn't have any (except maybe for a socially unacceptable kind). He's fundamentally a dim bulb, a guy who can't come up with his own ideas, as is shown continually through his repeating of others' words and the form his art takes. Funny beatnik/arty people throughout. It falls apart a little with the abrupt ending, but it's as much an essential as Little Shop.

Sticker obtained, bitches

The one with the peach on it, that is. I am a fan of this early voting thing, no doubt. And it is semi-heartening to see a line down the block for it on a Thursday afternoon, even if that line consists of upper-middle-class white folk for the most part, and even if it's pretty obvious that Athens's voice will not be heard presidentially in the slightest. They'd had about 1,800 people just that day by the time we hit the counter (five-ish), and it seemed to be going up by 300 or so a day. There were nice people with kids in line behind us, rambunctious kids, who had been dragged to see democracy in action and were not thrilled about it. e.g., Best bit of all was each child asking separately what the sign over the door said, unconscious of the pun in "Board of Elections," which they most certainly were. It also seems like they could use more volunteers, so, hey, maybe next time around I will offer my services.

Answering the question

Pandagon wants to know why people (as evinced in the Slate endorsements piece) are so down on Kerry. There seem to be a lot of different reasons. On my part, I simply think he's too centrist. This is probably what I'd think of any Democratic nominee, and he's marginally better than Gore in that area (anti death penalty, not tagged with the PMRC thing), but still. He's down with all this nonsense about hunting and killing terrorists, and I'm not sure that's just rhetoric. If he really believes that, then maybe he's not so much "a man passionate about the rule of law" and if he doesn't then maybe he's not as concerned with "the role of honesty in our public life" as Ezra thinks. I am a bit more easy about voting for him after watching him in the debates, where, yes, he came off like a smart, principled guy. And not to say that he's not for the most part. But just because you recognize that someone's principled doesn't mean you want to vote for him/her. You might not share those principles. The Prohibition Party dudes, for example, seem like committed fellas. But I'm not voting for them because I'm a fan of alcohol. You dig?

Hobbyhorse

This article on the relative influence of Athens-area legislators in the Georgia General Assembly contains a couple of interesting bits, but mainly this one:

Many supporters of the university blame Republicans, including Gov. Sonny Perdue, for cutting $80 million from the school's budget over three years, and they fear more of the same if the party runs the House, Senate and governor's office.

"I'm not sure right now that either party would come forward and recommend a tax increase for higher education," Bullock said.

One Athens Republican has fought to preserve the school's funding, Sen. Brian Kemp. If he survives a challenge from Bogart Democrat Becky Vaughn, he could gain considerable status in the Senate. He would benefit from the departure of more than a dozen senior senators, leaving openings for him to chair a committee in his second term.

"Kemp could become a power player," Bullock said.

And he did the most awesome job of it ever, too. I mean, I didn't even know completely taking the governor's line and parroting facile lines about the importance of higher education added up to fighting per se. What is the ABH's love affair with Kemp, anyway? [Have noticed, again, that this is a Morris News Service article, not an ABH one specifically.]

Follow-up

So what do the other Morris papers have to say about the presidential race? Here's the post on the ABH endorsement.

Augusta Chronicle? Bush. [bugmenot]

Terrorists have failed to attack U.S. soil in over three years - a function, perhaps, of having been routed in both Afghanistan and Iraq.

...Another terrorist state was gutted, another threat eliminated, and another people liberated, when coalition forces toppled the evil regime of Saddam Hussein.

...Our country, our cities and our towns have never been more in danger from a catastrophic terrorist strike. Our choice on Nov. 2 will be stark indeed: a choice between a longtime opponent of national defense - who has been on both sides of every major issue of our time - and a proven commander in chief who has instilled abject fear in the hearts of terrorists because he is strong and forthright and is not afraid to face down any amount of weak-kneed European opposition to keep America safe.

Amarillo (TX) Globe-Times? Bush. "Ever since the fateful day of Sept. 11, 2001, the role of the president of the United States changed drastically..."

Savannah Morning News? Bush, but it's not online.

That's all I've found so far. The Morris papers are listed here. I can only assume some haven't made/published their decisions yet.

Yay capitalism!

Of all the stories re: the end of an era and the vanquishing of some sort of "curse" I remember hearing about vaguely, this one on ESPN's site is the best yet, with a real ear for the intricacies of word choice, especially in this paragraph:

Massachusetts-based Brigham's Ice Cream has been selling a "Reverse The Curse" flavor since May. Now that the curse is over, the company's CEO and president Chuck Green has vowed to change the name, which features the company's hot fudge, caramel-covered "bases" and chocolate-covered peanut "balls."

It may take me all day to get over being amused by those last four words.

Of all the things in the world

That can provoke a sort of nihilistic hilarity, this NYT culture bit is one of them. What would you guess the following lines refer to?

"It brings people together"

"It goes to show you can agree on at least a few things"

"I had a lot of people who were looking forward to it," he said. "I started getting e-mails on Friday mornings where people were like, 'Where's **** What's going on?' "

"I enjoy it because it pulls together folks who wouldn't even read each others' blogs otherwise," Ms. Brogan said. "People from all across the political spectrum, Web diarists and serious craft people. As long as you are into ****, you belong in the group."

[bugmenot]

Movie Diary (continuing adventures of Larry Cohen edition)

1. It's Alive!: So, this seems generally to be the case with Cohen's films, in that there's a good premise, surprisingly good and interesting acting, and at least a couple of great scenes, but they also don't hang together quite as well as they should. i.e., He's definitely a B-movie director on a lot of levels, but remains interesting. What I liked about this is the realism of it in some ways, particularly the birth scene in the hospital (which I found genuinely scary, esp as a person with more than a few anxieties about such female matters) and the love that can't be helped of the parents for their child (John P. Ryan plays his realization of this beautifully and purely on his face). I hear the first sequel's weak, but the second is worth seeking out. Chances are I'll see both.

2. The Tommyknockers: I don't know what category of Stephen King flick to put this in. It's not actually good, like Misery or The Shining or Carrie. It's not awesomely balls-out, like Maximum Overdrive or Dreamcatcher. It's not epic and a little lame and underwhelming but compelling anyway, like The Stand or The Langoliers. If I have to compare it to anything, it's Golden Years, because they're both decently competent, not awful, with just enough trademarks to get by, but also not the type to attract a following. The bits with the dolls and the Studs-esque TV show are classic, but the rest of it is just okay.

Police blotter (bulldog theft continues in modified form edition)

If you're just scanning quickly, you might think the reign of terror was over. But it ain't. It's just adapted. That's the hallmark of success.

Theft: On Oct. 23, a Watkinsville man reported he went to Wal-Mart and after he was in the store for about 30 minutes, he returned to his pickup to find someone had removed a University of Georgia magnet with a Bulldog emblem off the truck. The magnet is valued at $55.

Maybe its transportation was stolen, making the hauling off of the concrete variety more difficult. Or maybe folks really are chaining down their precious yard art.

I am impressed with this:

Arrest: On Oct. 19, a woman was seen leaving Kroger on Epps Bridge Road with about $92 worth of fabric softener and washing detergent. She loaded the items into a jeep and drove off, but a witness obtained the tag number. Deputies went to the woman's home on Choyce Johnson Road in Oconee and arrested Amanda Ogletree, 20, on a charge of shoplifting.

Because, when you think about it, that would probably require several trips.

And this might be the worst excuse ever:

Arrest: On Oct. 19, deputies met with officials at Oconee County High School where a juvenile was suspected of having marijuana. The juvenile was seen handing the marijuana to Marcus Robinson, 21, of Baxter Drive, Athens, who was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Robinson, who was employed at the school, said the other student was trying to get rid of the marijuana and he took it because he felt sorry for the youth.

All via.

Movie Diary (the joe bob edition)

Is blogger back up? We'll see. Watched Deadly Friend last night, a cornball Bride of Frankenstein reworking by Wes Craven starring the amazingly un-hot Kristy Swanson, swathed in layers upon layers of terrible mid-1980s clothing that could hardly make her ass look bigger. J remembered that we had caught maybe the first 30 minutes of this long, long ago, when Monstervision was still on TNT (possibly triggered by a Joe Bob Briggs quite on the back of the box). It's kind of terrible, but in an entertaining way, as with much of the stuff he recommends. What's really shocking is that the words "basketball fu" don't appear in his capsule review. Worth your time? Depends on what you like.

Hobbyhorse

1. UGA enrollment down. This is not a bad thing. If the university actually did get more money when the number of students goes up, it would be one thing. As it is, maybe we shouldn't be admitting anyone at all. Most unintentionally hilarious bit?

Enrollment of other most other minorities, however, increased this fall, with eight more Hispanics, 52 more Asians and 70 additional multiracial students.

Eight, you say... Well that'll make a huge difference on a campus of 33,405. AJC covers the same story, emphasizing that the same will probably be true next year, i.e., the university will admit only a certain number of students because, as veep for instruction Del Dunn puts it, "We want to admit about the number of students we can provide courses to." Huh. Logic. Weird. And R&B does too, mentioning that "About 70 of 700 total faculty positions remain vacant in Franklin"; that's Arts & Sciences for you non-Athens folk, not some dinky basket-weaving major.

2. GSU eliminates its theater program to meet the cuts. Students understandably pissed (check the picture at the site; but what's that "I" doing between the B and the S?); e.g., "seniors in the program questioned how much a theater degree would mean from a school where the major no longer exists." First of many, y'all. First of many.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

Panty-watch

30. "Hilda Guttormsen is sweet as the librarian, who spends most of this one-act farce in a green bra and matching panties." [from Anita Gates's review of the play Laura's Bush; 10/20/04; sadly, the character in said lingerie is not playing Mrs. Bush, but rather "a repressed librarian from Kansas with lesbian tendencies" who's trying to help her]

See here for previous/context.

Worst analogy ever

Or is it? From USA Today,

Ashlee Simpson's Saturday Night Live debacle may be remembered as her “Howard Dean-scream moment.”

That's how Craig Marks, editor of music magazine Blender, describes the mishap that found the 20-year-old silently standing by as taped vocals for her hit Pieces of Me were cued in — while the band began to play another song that had been planned for that segment.

So.

1) This is ridiculous. Ashlee didn't fuck up out of passion. Nor is she known for being particularly unscripted, unlike the good doctor.

But. 2) In terms of media overexposure and overrating of importance leading to potential actual downfall, maybe so.

So is Marks actually making a clever analogy wrt the 24-entertainment-driven news cycle that's run by a bunch of cliquish, shallow fucks? Heh. I'm sure he is...

Noted a few minutes later: It clearly doesn't make any difference that he was "busted" for being genuine, while she was ditto for exactly the opposite.

Not exactly speechless, but...

So now that Salon's weighing in and calling "Mosh" "the most powerful broadside against the administration since Fahrenheit 9/11," I took the five minutes to watch (you can find it at Yahoo's Launch more readily than from the Salon link). And eppy was talking about it Friday, with links to others. So I was arguing with him about equating culture with politics and bla bla anti-Brooks stuff, but having watched the damn thing, I don't know what to think. It's really kind of lame, isn't it? But maybe powerful at the same time? But also maybe not, maybe more either a last gasp at controversy or a genuine statement that comes a bit late. And maybe it looks better on one's TV than small and on the computer screen, where the animation comes off herky-jerky and hasty. Nor is the song that catchy. He's mucking up his own flow, though that may be appropriate, given the title and the wordplay on it that goes throughout the song ("mosh" = "march" = "marsh" = "marshall"[?]). Isn't it kind of the same reaction one has to "Just Lose It"? i.e., "huh?"

Hobbyhorse

R&B says, "As the University trims $5.5 million from its budget, the number of graduate assistant awards will decline." So, not only are they not getting health insurance and the number of classes they need to graduate are being cut back, but now fewer people will receive assistance.

In other, non-horse news, there's this article on bike cops in Athens and their general sneakiness.

"If you're under age, don't come down here drinking," Epps said. "If you're drinking and you don't have your ID, you're going to take a ride."

You'll just have to wait around for that ride to arrive...

Also, we're not sure about those gays

ABH announces endorsement for president, further hardening its reputation as a bastion of corporatism. I know a lot of people aren't going to be surprised, namely those at Flagpole, but I thought the paper made significant progress this year in terms of what was reported on and how it was reported. Their coverage especially of the Michael Adams hoo-ha was good and wonky and tough (i.e., it didn't fall back on the "academics vs. athletics" frame everyone else relied on). So. Yeah. This sucks.

Other endorsements were:

• Burns (R) for 12th district and Isakson (R) for Senate
• Kemp (R) for state senate
• Cowsert (R) for state house
• Edwards (D) for sheriff
• Wiltshire (R) for DA
• Jordan (D), Kinman (D), and McCarter (D) for Commission

[bugmenot ABH]

Movie Diary (yummy schlock edition)

Ever since the New Yorker article on maverick schlockmeister movie fella Larry Cohen, I had very much been wanting to see something of his other than Phone Booth, and having spied his name on the box of The Stuff, decided it might be a good entree. And it was. Disregard for wrapping up every end neatly is entertaining, and he keeps things moving along nicely. The FX are cool, the plot is vaguely clever and anti-consumerist (in the most literal way possible), the faux commercials hum along to a catchy jingle, and Michael Moriarty may end up somewhere in the neighborhood of Jimmy Stewart while attempting a Southern accent but is utterly charmingly weird. It's not scary (except for a few distended mouths), and I don't mean to suggest that it's total genius, but it has a voice and some kind of direction, and it's very likeable.

Oh Shit I Saw

I was asked does it count "if stipe's tour bus almost plows into your car and the bus is full of people? because his bus almost crushed me ... on saturday afternoon when i was driving down my street and then the bus was parked in front of his house for a while and it took up the whole street."

Further details? "it was funny to see all these rock stars walking into the house, it was like they were on a field trip but some of them really looked like they were going to mecca."

Ah yes. Regular Stipe sighting? Not so much. Near-death Stipe sighting? Absolutely.

Hobbyhorse

1. "Student Jobs Saved from Cuts" sez the Red & Black, but it sounds like it's only for now. Plus this precious little detail: "The number of current student workers has increased since 2000, when budget cuts began." Hum. Yes. Because that would be the way it would be.

2. Regents dragging their damn feet on allocations: "A decision won't be made until University System Chancellor Thomas Meredith returns to Atlanta. Perry-Johnson said Meredith has been out of town since the regents' latest meeting, Oct. 12-13 at Georgia Tech." No doubt playing golf with millionaires or something...

That's all for now, surprisingly.

Movie Diary (midafternoon hooky edition)

So, the nice thing about being at a university in a relatively relaxed job is that when a big-deal prof brings a movie to campus for a special preview, you can (if you ask nicely and ahead of time) go see it in the middle of the day with your friends. David Gordon Green's gonna be speaking tomorrow, and I don't think I can go to that, but Undertow was worth the couple of hours. It's still kind of a mess in the way All the Real Girls was, in that I'm not sure he knows how to end a movie and he's a bit prone to 1) overdramaticism and 2) pseudo-profound dialogue, but this is better than that. And what's the main reason? My new moviestar boyfriend: Jamie Bell. Okay, I kid, I kid. He's only 18 and all that. But he is unbelievably good and a very physical actor. Plus, he can handle the Southern accent. Don't want to give anything away, as it ain't technically out yet, but I'd recommend with only slight reservations.

  Here. So y'all can see. This is the current inanimate love of my life. Website of the artist, Matt Sesow, here. Anyway. Art is an interesting thing. One can have a reasonably well worked out aesthetic program* in much the same way that one can have a plan for life, but (though I wouldn't consider myself a romantic in the flowers and chocklits sense or even the "I need bosom-heaving for the rest of my life" sense) sometimes love strikes, less like a lightning bolt and more like a lesser version of the same. Are there bolts of anything that magnetize? That's what I would say it feels like, being drawn to something that you are pretty sure you don't usually like. So. Painting. Purty. Sharing.

*Is this the word I'm looking for? Perhaps not.

The boys are back in town...

Well, not Athens so much as just back in action. New Silly Spider Monkey Fiasco sketch up at their site, which has also been polished up. Is it their best evs? I can report that it is not, but this is partially because their strength is in connections among sketches that make up an episode. It does feature Gawky McGawkerson Joe Sykes, certainly a favorite among cast members, and a cameo by the NES electronic gun that came as part of the package deal with the system, Super Mario Brothers, and Duck Hunt. Shmoove.

Movie Diary (we like coherence edition)

1. Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan: Yeah. So when the guy at the video place said this was awful, he didn't mean "but you'll enoy it in an ironic way." He just meant it's awful, which is pretty much true. A cruise? To "Manhattan"? A dog for no reason? An abundance of the worst pants ever made (i.e., the ones from the late 1980s and early 1990s that have a ton of material above the cinched waist, leading to a weird pouchy look)? Sure, Kane Hodder does his best (I think he's moving a little quickly as Jason in this installment), but when you're rooting for the cast to die the entire time, it's not always a good sign.

2. Pep Squad: Not really a horror movie, though filed and marketed as such. I was even expecting it to have several other titles, since the whole "pep squad" part of it takes up all of ten minutes. Bad John Waters + bad Heathers knock-off and just really not worth anyone's time because it's so incoherent. Attempts to be dark and fifties-trash-flick-inspired and maybe say something about high school but utterly fails. And it has loads of great quotes on the box, proving you shouldn't even bother to go by those.

3. The Devils: Also inappropriately filed in the horror section, but probably the best film Ken Russell made. Nor is that a backhanded compliment. It's still over the top in all the usual ways, but (is there a theme here?) maintains coherency. Plus, fine acting, especially from Oliver Reed in full roar and Vanessa Redgrave, and it's amazingly gorgeous* (loads of white brick walls, true blacks, etc.). Am thinking it would make a nice double feature with The Passion because of all the issues re: pain/suffering and religion and politics that are raised.

4. From Beyond the Grave: Kind of a poor title for this British horror anthology, since there's not much in the way of graves, but a competent little movie. Not a ton to say about it. Ebert's review is accurate, but gives away a bit much. It's got good atmosphere and, unlike some of the Hammer stuff, definitely isn't boring, though I wouldn't say it's particularly scary.

*Have just noticed Derek Jarman did the sets.

When's the last time you actually went "woo" while watching a movie trailer?

Well, for me, it was last night. Mock, if you like, but there was Von Von Von-esque laughter provoked by this. There's a treasure map where? His name is what? Just take me now, Jerry Bruckheimer. I'm yours.

And the Lord God said, "direct thy energies to comedy"?

This is what happens when one's husband decides to type his own name into his browser.

Some sort of horrible tumor thing

That is to say: are the Yeah Yeah Yeahs actually growing on me in such fashion? Well, "Y Control" is, at any rate. More than "Maps" did even. Zig sent me to watch the video at their site a week or so ago, and though I don't want it to be in my head, it is. Am I won over as much by the visuals as the song itself? You betcha. It's a shame it's not on the MTV because I think the shockingness is overrated, or, at any rate, not that dependent on violence. It's got a Village of the Damned/Japanese horror film feel to it, and her dancing is infectious and cool in its aerobic quality (aerobicness? aerobicity?). Yes, I know Mr. Big Shot directed it, but he got that reputation for a reason. It warn't just the connections of his in-laws.

Hobbyhorse

1. Letter defending Kemp in the ABH says he restored funding for a bunch of things: namely, big buildings. Not that buildings aren't great, but it's not too surprising that a construction guy would be for making more of them. And I quote: "Brian is the President of Kemp Development, a local small business specializing in commercial and residential construction, and co-owner of Specialty Stone Supply."

2. Adams holds media briefing after University Council meeting, says: "There will be no cuts or layoffs beyond what has been announced." Huh? Announced which time? Clearly, he's avoiding saying "there will be no layoffs." Also:

Too much energy has been consumed through the process of planning how to deal with the budget cuts, Adams said, adding he would like to get back to educating students, doing research and focusing on the University's goals.

Because lord knows the budget has nothing to do with any of that.

3. Nobody gives two shits about Mark Taylor coming to speak after budget issues have been pretty much resolved. He continues to misrepresent the problem:

Taylor -- who is expected to challenge Gov. Sonny Perdue in 2006 -- thanked SGA for protesting the possibility of a mid-year tuition increase.

"I believe the 2004 class will have a special place in the state's history," he said about SGA's petition. "That was no small feat."

He immediately stated the petition was "really successful so the governor and the Board of Regents could see the light."

"Maintaining the excellence of the 1990s would be difficult," he said. "That I knew -- but I had no idea our governor would ask for a tuition increase."

Flattery, pretended stupidity, and (um) practically no audience.

4. Jessica Luton says "I encourage everyone to vote smart this election and make sure we get federal and state funding from the government for education" in her letter. I wish it were that simple, but even if the state has the money from the federal government, it is not going to make its way over here with Perdue's people in power.

5. AJC op-ed says Perdue is a "do-nothing" governor. No. He's just good at avoiding responsibility for his actions, which is a different thing.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

Sort of an AFV meets kindergarden concept

Is this, possibly, dumber than the election bingo thing? Tough call. Would be more likely to watch if Brokaw and Russert had to place the pieces themselves, agonizing over exactly which one is Vermont and which New Hampshire and preferably not wearing skates, to increase the likelihood of spectacular hip fracture on live TV.

Verbal peeve

Not to get too specific wrt reality show content, but jeez, Rory. You're supposed to be smart, right? The phrase is "chopping block," not "auction block," unless you're thinking you signed up for Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire.

No, she's not talking about Raul

Would you be happy if your publicist called you "facetious, intolerable, brutal, hysterical, angry and jaded"? IFC's new movie reviewer hasn't really come off that way to me, but maybe it's that whole lacking-a-neck thing that makes others think so.

Clear your schedule

On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. Dig around for $3. And grab your shotgun. Commentary is superfluous. [bugmenot ABH]

I know what channel I'm watching on election night

You know what is the best way ever to find out officially who just won the ALCS? Spend most of your evening watching Angel season 4 episodes and occasionally check in. After being thoroughly distracted by his royal Whedon-ness, pick a random channel to flip to, almost accidentally. It happens to be QVC. And they are already hawking Red Sox AL Champions merch. Hell of a lot faster than CNN or whatnot...

Movie Diary (the Olivier of kitties edition)

Cat's Eye: I'd say better than average as far as these trilogies of terror go and falling into the category of not-scary-but-fun Stephen King movies. The cat is a fab actor. Lots of little King references in the background, jokes involving the word "pecker" (wrt a bird), the late great Alan King camping it up as a mobster, and Drew Barrymore, proving she hasn't changed one bit since her childhood, at least in terms of on-screen personality. She is a pouty, cutesy moppet with a way of blurting out lines that is reflected in her movements--i.e., she's not what one would call graceful, but she has a forcefulness to her that remains.

But it's tinged with guilt

So, am I a bad person for laughing at this? Believe me, my socialistic credentials are practically impeccable, and I wouldn't hesitate to categorize myself as a pacifist. And yet... By the time the "power fist" shows up, I kinda couldn't help myself. It's not all funny, but see if you don't find yourself practicing the tilted compassion head by the end. [via harmy]

Better without the context? 

Police Blotter (pig pumpkin!)

And still... Only one this week, but whoever it is clearly remains at large.

Theft: On Oct. 12, a resident of Creek Shore Drive reported someone stole $165 worth of Halloween decorations from her yard including four illuminated pumpkins, a ceramic Bulldog pumpkin and a pig pumpkin.

And a little bit of prose sampling:

Damage: Two residents of Keeneland Drive reported Oct. 16 someone damaged their mailboxes, apparently by hitting them with a car.

And:

Arrest: On Oct. 14, Deputy Brian Smith was patrolling Ga. Highway 316 when he noticed a PT Cruiser go off the roadside several times. He stopped the car and the driver, Leslie Rae Pekich, 21, of Barnett Shoals Road, said she had drank a glass of beer and wine. She was charged with failing to maintain a lane and DUI.

[via]

Hobbyhorse

1. Open Mic with Mike (Adams) was last night. ABH's report covers the line of attack from one John Tillitski:

"Now, with continuing budget cuts, we still have a lot of positions unfilled and there's talks of low morale in the faculty ranks," Tillitski said. "Why is it more important for you to receive all this money than filling these positions?"

...Adams, in response, emphasized his desire to be paid in line with other flagship university presidents and said he gives money back each year to UGA's fund-raising efforts.

This is very much the same argument for letting rich people keep more of their money, instead of taking it in taxes, right? They'll give it to charity (and make more money with that money, which then can potentially be donated to charity). But still. I am guessing the amount Adams gives is significantly smaller than the amount he receives. Probably something like one percent, if that. Red & Black coverage of the same event emphasizes Adams's call for raising tuition $1,000 over the next three to four years instead and doesn't mention the tenacious Mr. Tillitski, weirdly. Unfortunately (?), this is not the way it went. Their editorial rightly supports the proposed raise.

2. AJC runs an article on tuition increases around the nation and percentages and so on, that contains this tidbit: "The state Board of Regents kept the tuition increase low at Gov. Sonny Perdue's request." That is, the one that took effect at the beginning of this school year. Hmm.

3. Another anti-Kemp (because he's anti-higher-ed) letter.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

Movie Diary (batshit edition)

The Legend of Hell House: This was moving along just fine, fulfilling the requirements of the paranormal-investigators-in-a-seriously-spooky-haunted-mansion genre. There were clever shots: from way below, in a mirrored ceiling, in the side of a silver teapot. There was suspense. There were numerous quakings and flying about of plates and so on. So I was thinking, "Mmm. Yeah. I can see why this is regarded as a classic." Until the last ten minutes, in which it goes so far off the rails it couldn't find the track with a fucking map. Am I saying I don't like this? Not entirely. Just that no one ever tells you it has the most ridiculous ending evaaar. I'm not gonna tell you what it is (unless you want to talk about it in the comments), but I am warning you. I know not all y'all are as tolerant of total idiocy in flicks as I am.

It might just be a hair's difference,

But a hair is still a separation, a measurable distance between the Evilest of Evil Empires and the marginally less Evil Empire. So, I hate Boston. I hate Curt Schilling's big damn mouth. I hate that the rivalry gets focused on to the exclusion of all else, and that those fans think they are the only ones to suffer heartbreak every year. But still... Jesus H. I am impressed. What are the odds that, if it's close tonight, Schilling comes out and pitches in relief? On one leg.

Way to take on the big issues, boys

The Flick Skinny dudes, who (unfortunately) happen to be a pair of nice guys with an unhealthy Billy Wilder obsession, tell us in their review of Team America what the real problem facing this country today is. It's one that John Kerry hasn't addressed because he's part of the problem. It's one that only the Club for Growth has dared make a statement on until now. I mean, seriously, who knew issues like war and poverty and public health would fade into the background when Trey and Matt courageously stepped forward to make the case for this one? Am writing my congressfolk immediately to propose new bill re: personhood and 3/5-edness wrt this particular class.

Shiny!

Ooh yay! This band, The Gaskets, well they rock. "Cold Busted" has kind of a lovechild of Elvis Costello and Julian Casablancas vibe to the vocals. Plus: beat! Sorry to make with the exclamation points, but there is something great about going through the downloads knowing nothing at all and happening upon such fun like this. Worth checking out the video as well as the audio section of their "downloads." They seem like a good time live. Or maybe it's just that I'm a sucker and a half for that particular squeezed cheapo keyboard noise. What's the next step in the evolution of two-person bands? Apparently, it's two-person bands where only one person even plays an instrument. Woo! [via]

Later (next day, 12:17 p.m.): Augh. Clearly no one else who has bothered to listen is excited at all. And yet last time I was bouncing in my chair with delight like this was upon the release of "My Happy Ending."

Panty-watch

28. "A lot of this writing, with its billowing waves, its dark abysses and searing flames burning the soul to tinder, is nonsense, of course, but it's sometimes splendid nonsense, and every now and then, when she's not talking about crotchless panties or how she collected her lover's used condoms, Ms. Bentley hits the grand rhapsodic note..." [from "Once Forbidden, Now Championed," the second review of Bentley's book, by Charles McGrath]

29. "It did not take a hurricane or even a particularly strong tropical storm to wash away or destroy thousands of homes in Gonaïves. Many still standing are surrounded by moats of chocolate-colored water, and many residents are living on their roofs amid crushed bed frames and brightly hued piles of sodden clothing. Tens of thousands are completely homeless, like Ms. Dorima's sister, whose husband left her after their little girl was 'lost to the waters.'

'All she has left to her name is one pair of panties,' Ms. Dorima said."

[from "Storm-Battered Haiti's Endless Crises Deepen" by Deborah Sontag and Lydia Polgreen; see here for previous]

The bullfighter checks his makeup

The Day Jobs link to this video (from Harry Shearer's art project) of John Edwards fixing his hair/getting his hair fixed before the cameras go live. But I think it's less funny than kind of existentially despairing. John Edwards is not a happy guy. He smiles a lot when he's on camera, but when he's not, he's very serious (as one would sort of expect from a parent who lost a child at a young age). Nor is he looking forward to being on TV. He's just composing himself, almost in a "let's get this over with" fashion. And the hair stuff is part of that. He's not smiling at himself in the mirror as much as he is cooly assessing whether each strand is in the right place, half beauty contestant, half warrior designed for the new battleground.

Hobbyhorse

1. Task force looking into how much to increase tuition in upcoming years. They do provide this sentence for context: "In-state tuition at UGA for the 2004-05 school year is $1,684 per semester." Yeah. It's that cheap. And many kids don't even have to pay that, being covered by HOPE. R&B points out that the median yearly rate for Southern Regional Education Board states is $4,254.

2. ABH editorial says Foundation "could use further revamping." See:

It appears that for at least the next couple of years, or as long as Perdue remains in the governor's office, any time the state gets into a tight spot, budgetarily speaking, public institutions of higher learning will become fair game for him or for the state legislature.

Which means, obviously, that private fund-raising will play an even more crucial role in maintaining the high quality of instruction, research and service built at the University of Georgia over the past several years.

I understand this "let's take a good look at reality" mindset, but also sometimes you need to make an effort to change the reality you're given, i.e., try not to let Perdue hack at the higher-education budget instead of throwing up your hands and saying we have to rely on private donations. The state-run system of public higher education is an incredibly valuable thing and its slide toward privatization and profit motives is a terrible shame.

3. Here's one of many letters trashing the endorsement of Kemp.

4. AJC says Perdue theoretically losing political ground. Unfortunately, we still have two years to go. Sigh.

5. R&B runs confusing editorial supporting the task force, which apparently will also study efficient allocation of tuition funds, and saying "additional money isn't the solution to everything." So now they do think there's fat?

Movie Diary (just full of love edition)

Watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith last night. rewatched, that is. Had seen it some years ago and then pined for it to make its way to DVD. Then received it as a rather thoughtful birthday present and only just now got around to the rewatch. Anyway. It's Hitchcock's screwball comedy, and it will whomp you good with its charms, if you like that sort of thing, which I very much do. Carole Lombard and Robert Montgomery discover that, though living as man and wife for three years, by a technicality, they aren't really married. He doesn't tell her immediately, so she tosses him out on his ear. Cue much fighting, desperation, expressions of violent love, and so on. What's the moral of the story? Love is always a bit of a power game (and a key facet of that control/submission thing from yesterday). If I were a theory person, I suppose I'd think that's a bad thing.

It makes me think of my (unsuccessful) Foundation Fellows interview, wherein they asked me to name a woman I admire, and I responded "Katharine Hepburn." "Movie Katharine Hepburn or real-life?" they followed up. So I said "movie," since I'm not the world expert on her life. Anyhoo. They weren't too fond of that, pointing out that, in her movies with Tracy, she always ends up being the wife at the end, submitting herself to his needs. But that's a foolish attitude. She wants to do it, and it's less a caving to the demands of the time than it is an important attitude adjustment on her part. Yes, she is always very independent at the start of the movie. But she is also frequently inconsiderate and pig-headed. So they end up being about learning a lesson, which is that sometimes life isn't all about you. It's a game of give and take, as Miss Diana Ross says.

Shhh. Let go.

As I think I've expressed in a more limited form before, all of life is a struggle between control and submission. Are you gonna do it your way, no matter what? Or are you going to breathe deeply and get Buddhist about it? It's hard to know what to do in any given situation. One tends to weigh costs and benefits quickly, i.e., "is this worth making a fuss about?" I can't say whether I go to one side more than the other, but I do know this from seeing it this past weekend: wearing your ipod while you're in Tower Records goes too far toward "control." I understand that it's great that you can cocoon yourself in your cloud of self-chosen music. But in a record store? In a good record store? Your ears should be open at least some of the time in case you hear something you never would've otherwise.

[Sidebar: I also gave in to my forbidden R. Kelly love upon finding his last two albums in the used section. Now I can write at length on the specifics of his genius and most likely will.]

Hobbyhorse

1. Foundation gives Adams his dough, including "111,867 in additional salary, $40,000 in longevity pay, $150,000 in deferred compensation and an $1,800 insurance premium." Insurance on what? If he gets hit by a bus, does the university get a million dollars? (Idea forming in brain.) ABH covers it too, noting "The foundation still will provide Adams certain perks, including a vehicle allowance for both him and his wife, as well as memberships to certain civic and country clubs. The state is not allowed to do so." I.e., those expenses aren't even part of the extra money they give him.

2. Bla bla cut. No new details.

Nothing else, really.

You want proof that CNN is a joke?

Pick up the current issue of The New Yorker, focused on politics and crammed with fat ads. Turn to pages 106-7 and there, jammed between them, is the ad for CNN's election night coverage, consisting of a cute, fold-out map of the U.S., each state bearing a dot, and a page of stickers, 50 blue (with donkeys), 50 red (with elephants). You know, for playing along. Presumably, they're easily removable for when things, um, change... Anyway, thanks to "America's Campaign Headquarters." If only they'd give us a lolly once we cast our ballot.

My left big toe is kind of cold, and my right big toe is asleep

Check this, also from the current New Yorker.

Self-Portrait

I lived between my heart and my head,
like a married couple who can't get along.

I lived between my left arm, which is swift
and sinister, and my right, which is righteous.

I lived between a laugh and a scowl,
and voted against myself, a two-party system.

My left leg dawdled or danced along,
my right cleaved to the straight and narrow.

My left shoulder was like a stripper on vacation,
my right stood upright as a Roman soldier.

Let's just say that my left side was a the organ
donor and leave my private parts alone,

but as for my eyes, which are two shades
of brown, well, Dionysus meet Apollo.

Look at Eve raising her left eyebrow
while Adam puts his right foot down.

No one expected it to survive,
but divorce seemed out of the question.

I suppose my left hand and my right hand
will be clasped over my chest in the coffin

and I'll be reconciled at last,
I'll be whole again.

--Edward Hirsch

Amazingly, both my left brain and my right brain agree that this poem must be some sort of joke.

God, I hope not

From this NYT story:

"People are determined not to repeat history," said Doug Chapin, director of Electionline.org, a nonpartisan research organization. "The unofficial theme song of this year's election seems to be the Who's 'Won't Get Fooled Again.' "

And the lyrics to the song itself. See, you gotta listen past the first verse... [bugmenot]

It all comes down to proper animal training

Yep. The Jon Stewart thing is good (transcript here). And yet, he could have been more forceful. I appreciate that he places Begala in the same camp as Carlson (though the latter is the only one who gets called a dick), and I appreciate that he refers to them as partisan hacks, but partisan hackery isn't the real problem. The real problems are laziness and preoccupation with ever-increasing profits. Partisan hackery isn't going to go away. It just needs to be squooshed down and not allowed airtime without some sort of leash on it. As with a hyperactive dog, the problem is not the end on the leash, but really the end that holds it.

Sorry a bit light on posting this a.m. Have been preoccupied with disposing of large amts of paper. Anyway. This is what occupied at least part of Team Brown's weekend and ended up making us run the gamut of emotions related to competency, from eek/helpless to proud badassedness. 

'Bout Time

Are there more beautiful words in the language than "featuring Larry Munson as the voice of Uga"? Thought not.

Perhaps some sort of finger-impairing mechanism is in order

I've officially hit and blasted past the 100K words mark, according to the ol' profile. Jeeeeeezum.

Hobbyhorse

1. Like the violent language in the ABH article that tries to find out what exactly will be cut: "raiding health insurance reserves," "axed $68.7 million," and "sliced that amount to $64.8 million." The actual figures are a little confusingly put. Get this:

Mace, according to some deans, told academic heads to proceed with a plan to cut $5.2 million in spending - a proposal in line with UGA's expected 25 percent share of $20.3 million in budget cuts passed on this week to colleges and universities by the state Board of Regents.

And then this:

The provost, however, warned deans there is a chance UGA could get a share of another $7.3 million in spending cuts that regents, who govern the 34-campus University System, have yet to figure out how to absorb..

But what of this?

If colleges and universities have to absorb the additional $7.3 million, UGA's total cut will be closer to $7 million, officials say.

Not sure where else it would come from than colleges and universities; even the health insurance funds came from colleges and universities, as far as I know (unless there are those enrolled in the plan who aren't related at all to University System stuff). Or do they mean those cuts might not come down? Then there's this:

John Soloski, dean of the Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication, said Mace told academic heads to continue planning to meet the cut but to understand the $7.3 million might be added to UGA's budget burden.

So, instead of UGA just getting a share of the unaccounted-for $7.3 mill, we might have to shoulder all of it? Or is this just inaccurate language? (R&B maybe marginally clearer.)

2. Macon Telegraph opines that the lack of a tuition increase was a good thing because lots of folks who go to University System schools have parents who couldn't otherwise afford it. Or something. Because it's not like the HOPE Scholarship covers most of them... Also, "Not only did students and parents breathe a sigh of relief, so did college presidents - their individual share of the remaining cuts will be dramatically lower from what was originally expected." Hmm. Lower than some predictions, higher than others. Certainly higher than if a tuition hike had gone through. But they do say that the legislature should stay out of the Regents' business, which I agree with to some extent and would more so if there were any checks on the Regents' power other than the whim of the Gov.

3. Marietta Daily Journal gets some good quotes in:

On that point, Dr. Lisa Rossbacher, president of Southern Polytechnic State University in Marietta, voiced deep concern about the impact on both the quality and accessibility to higher education. She said there had to be "serious juggling ahead of us to balance the decline in financial support with increases in enrollment, while trying to ensure access and protect quality."

On the issue of quality, Regent Martin Nesmith of Claxton, appointed by former Gov. Roy Barnes, said during the board meeting that cuts by the Perdue administration are putting at risk the academic standing achieved by the university system.

Of course, that consideration must take priority. Still, under the circumstances there appears to be no alternative to the cuts short of raising tuition or taxes. The former may be expected before the next school term begins, but the latter is not on the table.

4. ABH endorses Kemp. They say,

With regard to the university, we have been encouraged by Kemp's recent statements relative to budget cuts imposed by the state. Kemp said he recognizes the continuing worry on campus about losses in funding, both real and potential, has affected faculty and staff morale. He has also said he recognizes declining morale will, eventually, impinge on the quality of instruction and services offered by the state's flagship institution of higher education. We hope Kemp will continue to walk that walk at the Capitol in Atlanta.

My emphasis. He hasn't walked any walk at all. He's merely talked. He's backed the governor on this consistently, as far as votes go. This is a foolish choice and shows they've bought his rhetoric entirely.

[bugmenot ABH]

Can I just have a regular section called "Charles Taylor is an idiot"?

It's almost beside the point to continue to talk about it. And yet. And yet. I believe once upon a time a word was coined after my name to indicate this unfailing impulse. So. He reviews Team America: World Police in Salon. And seems to be generally on target. Until...

A letter to the New York Times this week is (unintentionally) a better piece of satire than anything in the last half of "Team America." A woman who watched the second presidential debate with her 8-year-old son so the boy could see an example of wisdom and maturity in John Kerry was "disturbed ... by Mr. Kerry's harsh language about hunting down and killing the terrorists. I would have preferred less barbaric phrasing." She goes on, "I'd rather that [my son] see himself as a citizen of a country that brings enemies to justice, rather than a country where the word 'kill' is necessary to win votes." Isn't what's most appalling about the reaction to terrorism from some sections of the left this idea that terrorists will listen to reason? Wouldn't it have been funnier, and more accurate, not to show the stars killing for peace but being so dedicated to peace they'd be willing to tolerate any atrocity?

So "bring to justice" now equals "put in time out" or something? Fuck. Why bother with criminal trials even in this country. Let's skip straight to the executions. Because, apparently, there's nothing worthwhile about living in a world governed by reason and the rule of law.

I'm just saying, I've heard of Pepperdine

The whole whatchamacalit (it's not exactly a column or an article or an interview, so we might have to go with "thingy") with Gary Sheffield dispensing advice on Page 2 is relatively priceless, but the highlight is below:

Our first confused soul today is Sam O'Meara from Delaware. Sam says, "I've become completely obsessed with my fantasy football league -- like six-or-seven-hours-a-day obsessed. I want to break the habit but don't have any other interests. Any hobbies you can recommend?"

GARY: Fishing. That'll keep you busy all day. I go fishing all the time -- deep-sea fishing, fishing for king fish.

RACHEL: Fishing definitely gets you away from the computer. But if you're not careful, you end up in a bad Marky Mark movie.

GARY: "Titanic."

RACHEL: No, I meant "The Perfect Storm." They go out fishing; they get trapped in this huge storm. It looks like they're going to make it back, but they don't. Sort of like the Red Sox last year.

GARY: Never seen that. I've seen "Titanic." They got stuck out there, too. But that will never happen to me, because I've got options on the boat. I've got the floaters; I have jet skis. Some kind of way, somehow, I'm coming back. I don't know what I'll look like, but I'm coming.

We call that a half-empty outlook

Gothamist links to yesterday's NYT article on how people with disabilities are using Segways and how they occasionally get glared at, etc. Anyway, what's the key advantage?

There is also a psychological factor. Mr. Kerr said he is no longer relegated to staring at people's rear ends, while others said they simply feel less disabled while riding it.

Some of us might consider that a heretofore unmeditated-on bonus... [bugmenot]

Scare quotes just so perfect

The Agonist posts two fantastic articles under the same link, one opening with this paragraph:

On the eve of the third anniversary of September 11, 2001, the US House of Representatives - by an overwhelming, bipartisan majority of 406-16 - passed a resolution linking Iraq to the al-Qaeda attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. This comes despite conclusions reached by the bipartisan 9-11 Commission, a recent Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) report, and the consensus of independent strategic analysts familiar with the region that no such links ever existed.

The other, the first one you come to, focuses on "Zarqawi." If you've ever caught any bit of news where his name's been mentioned as some sort of terrorist mastermind, especially those musing on where he gets his power, please go and read.

Oh Shit I Saw

Larry the Cable Guy, heading toward and then going into his bus (word on the street is he calls it the "honeywagon") in the ABH parking lot with a couple of pals. They seemed to step out occasionally to have a smoke and then go back in, no doubt to play X-Box or something. Anyhoo, either it ain't a costume or he was already in it, as there were no sleeves present. Am sad, howevs, that I didn't see him drinking a beer at 10 a.m., as he was rumored to be doing.

Also please note

General fabulousness of this picture. How much does it look like the person with the little digital videocam is really the one filming the show? Also, about half the team seems to think whatever he's doing is super funny, while the other half is less than amused.

Point easy to grasp even for you visual learners

Ha! So. In the comments section of this post over at Eppy's, he's talking about how Dizzee Rascal and Jay Z are different creatures, in that while they have similarities, the latter is a bit menacing, while the former is more cute.

Cue Byron Bitchlaces's linking of the video for "Dream" (in Real, alas), which is one of the cutest damn things I've ever seen. Jay Z's take on police brutality (as interpreted by his video director, of course) is graphic and black-and-white and scary. Dizzee's? Done with puppets. Eep!

Oh Shit I Sort of Saw (and Heard)

1. Anyone else notice Kerry campaign policy advisor Sarah Bianchi? Well, hell. She went to my school. She's the headmaster's daughter. I was remembering last night that she was in Bye Bye Birdie when I was in junior high and she was in high school. And that she was good. Strange.

2. Way more important: did anyone catch some jackass in the background yelling out "Kerry's daughter has a big nose" as she was being interviewed post-debate (maybe on CNN, maybe MSNBC)? I mean, she kinda does, but not in an un-hot way. What would provoke someone to do that, though? Oh. Beer. Most likely.

Hobbyhorse (I'm sorry. I can't even stop.)

1. Layoffs apparently unlikely, according to Adams. We know he always tells the truth. Actually, here's what he says:

Adams, who attended Wednesday's meeting of the state Board of Regents, said afterward he doesn't foresee UGA faculty or staff losing jobs as a result of an estimated $5 million being scratched from the university's spending.

Your bullshit detector should pretty much automatically go "ding ding ding" when you hear the word "foresee" being tossed around.

2. AJC prints this letter:

Education budget not yet fat-free

"There is no fat left," say 193 University of Georgia faculty members ("Budget cuts endanger educational gains," Letters, Oct. 12).

According to Hank Huckaby, the university's senior vice president of finance, UGA found $9.4 million in a reserve fund for an economic development project that never materialized. That's fat.

Education receives 52 percent of state revenues, with approximately $1.6 billion allocated to the Board of Regents. Surely other expenditures in their budget should be reviewed and, likely, removed.

BOB GUHL, Social Circle

Am opposed in general to things being fat-free, from cookies to butter to budgets. A little fat makes things easier.

3. Gwinnett College seems to be going ahead. And here too. To be funded entirely with fairy dust and dreams. Am very confused by R&B's take on this. They think it'll save us money. Do they think the legislature's gonna add money to the general University System budget? Heh. Good luck with that.

4. R&B talks to Mace. He says more cuts next year because one-time solutions were exactly that. Also:

"It would be closer to that of the first budget plan," Mace said. "But let me emphasize the word 'closer.'"

i.e., don't count your jobs until they hatch.

5. Some letters to the R&B, one from Andy Herod saying remember who did this when you're in the voting booth, one from a student who doesn't seem to understand how textbook publishers work, one that seems well meaning but rambles a bit and doesn't take sides, and one that gives the Regents loads of love (where are the anti-authority students these days, anyway).

You want balance?

I think this guy's an asshole too. His article about volunteering for the Republican Party under false pretenses starts out with a decent premise:

These critics do a terrific job of mocking his mental deficiencies and dismissing his supporters as hapless morons, but they do not do a very good job of explaining the nature of his support. The few dissident commentators who bother trying to explain the Bush phenomenon seldom do more than reach for the nearest Marx-inspired academic cliche. They will tell you, for instance, that Republicans are a vast intellectual underclass cynically manipulated by the rich through a mesmerizing cocktail of yahoo enthusiasms, xenophobic fears and ancient superstitions -- and those same people will insist, if forced to offer an opinion on the subject, that one should feel sorry for most of them.

This is the wrong approach. As a professional misanthrope, I believe that if you are going to hate a person, you ought to do it properly. You should go and live in his shoes for a while and see at the end of it how much you hate yourself.

But the problem is that he doesn't do this at all. Living in someone's shoes isn't supposed to be merely superficial, right? The point is that one makes an effort to understand that person, and though he offers the occasional stab at such (Republicans hate cool kids, need faith constantly tested), it also feels like a joke the entire time, which is pretty obvious by the end, when he recounts being invited to one lady's house for dinner and the conversation he ended up supplying:

"The thing is, I'm the one who gets in trouble," I said. "Like, there was this one little girl. I caught her listening to 50 Cent -- you know, the rapper -- and I started telling her about the torments of hell, and how she'd pay in eternity and all of that. And the principal comes up to me, and he's like, 'Stop, you're scaring the children!' "

That's not an effort to understand an opposing view from the inside out so much as it is an extended improv exercise. [via]

What that was

Last night. That was less a presidential debate, in many ways, and more a theological one. On the one side: faith alone. On the other: faith demonstrated through good works. This might be a little long to be the motto of the Kerry campaign, but it ain't a bad one:

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. --Epistle of James 2: 14-18

It does make us want to drink more wine though...

Cannot believe Gawker isn't on this one yet. Anyway, according to the Boston Herald,

Karen MacNeil, author of "The Wine Bible" and host of the PBS series "Wine, Food, and Friends," has thumbed her nose at the wine snobs by matching each of the top reality shows in the fall television lineup with a different wine.

...MacNeil's fall reality TV "wine-up," commissioned by the Wine Market Council, builds on her annual pairing of wines with winners of the Academy Awards. "When I first started learning about wine 20 years ago, I thought of each wine as a different personality. It made it a lot easier to understand. One might be like Anthony Hopkins, another like Robin Williams."

MacNeil brainstormed about the characters as well as the themes of each show to find the right wine. She decided that "Average Joe IV" went with shiraz. "It may not be flashy or drive fast cars, but there isn't a more lovable red wine around," she said. The "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" team needed sherry, "the world's most misunderstood and underappreciated wine . . . actually the hippest, most stylish wine of all."

Lord knows there's nothing hipper than Queer Eye right now... May we suggest a fine Arbor Mist Cranberry Twist White Merlot to pair with Temptation Island, a Manischewitz to accompany My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, and we'll just say straight paint thinner for The Simple Life.

Here's the full list on her site.

[via]

We was wearing silk pajamas...

On Eppy's rec, here is Von Von Von for comparison purposes with Gunther, and here, specifically, is the video page, where you can watch the Showtime at the Apollo appearance checked in the comments. I'm torn. There is something so great about the way the crowd reacts to Von Von Von, like at first it's all "oh, I can't even believe this cracker" and then that rapidly mutates into (or really more combines with) "he's kinda got it goin' on." It's the reaction that one has when confronted with something that one has never seen before, and it is a thing that is very lame in many ways and also it might be a joke, but ultimately, you gotta go with it no matter what. Now, musically, I prefer Gunther's stuff because it's more Europop than Eurodisco and because Von Von Von also reminds me a little of when, on the original version of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, they would have to do the song-making-up bit, and the category was rap, and Peter Cook gave his own take on it.

Hobbyhorse (Hiya, shit. I'd like you to meet fan.)

1. Regents do just what Perdue wants after all. Oh yay.

The board, which oversees the state's 34-campus University System of Georgia, decided after several regents met Tuesday morning with Perdue to offset the trims by cutting operating expenses, dipping into the system's health insurance reserves and recapturing more than $9 million for a project that never materialized at the University of Georgia.

First, the dipping is making folks very nervous. Will it mean increased premiums yet again? Will the state put the money back? Take a guess. Second, what are these operating expenses that can be cut? Oh yeah...

Cost-cutting at schools might include layoffs, Meredith suggested, in addition to hiring freezes, postponing maintenance efforts and hiring more part-time faculty.

What does Adams have to say?

"I think everyone's glad we're able to avoid a midyear tuition increase," he said. "It's clear we'll need a tuition increase in the next fiscal year."

And also this awesome new detail:

Under the regents' plan, UGA and other schools will absorb about one-third of the cut - $20.3 million - but might be asked to take on more.

2. AJC's article adds that "Perdue, who has appointed or reappointed six of the board's 18 members since taking office last year, had lobbied against a tuition increase."

3. Shipp explains why it's fucking stupid to cut the higher-education budget.

Could it be that some would prefer going back to that less hustling, seemingly genteel old Georgia populated by permanent classes of haves and have-nots?

4. R&B has quotes from Tom Jackson explaining about what the university's portion of the cuts will be. SGA is happy they were heard; some still concerned about layoffs. Wait. Some students realize their quality of education will suffer? Yep. Some of them think about the bigger picture. Like the editorial board of the Red & Black, which says the Regents should have implemented the tutition hike. And they use the word "staff" twice! The cartoon, howevs, doesn't make sense anymore. I'd suggest a more affectionate relationship be depicted, but I don't think the student paper prints pornography.

Police blotter (lock up those concrete bulldogs edition)

It continues...

Theft: On Oct. 3, a resident of Scarlett Oak Circle reported someone came into his yard the previous night and stole two pinwheels, a Georgia Bulldog statue, wood pumpkins, a stuffed scarecrow and a wooden frog.

Theft: On Oct. 9, a resident of Hopping Road in North High Shoals reported someone stole two scarecrows and a wreath from her yard.

Also, this dude has balls:

Theft: On Oct. 4, a clerk at Racetrac on Macon Highway reported a man walked into the store, got himself two hot dogs and a Bud Light beer and left without paying. He was last seen walking down Hog Mountain Road.

Can we finish that last sentence "before he ascended into the great moocher's heaven"?

Bim squared

So I didn't catch Edwards on Leno last night, but then I read this today:

"I run, and I played a little football back when I was in school. And the president, I think, was there at those football games too. He was, I think, on the side maybe with his pompoms?" drawled Edwards, contrasting his youth as a mill town athlete with Bush's tenure on a prep school cheering squad.

As the audience responded with scandalized laughter, he added: "Can you run fast with those cheerleading outfits on? I don't know."

Which, like, ouch. Admittedly, first reaction is along the lines of holding up a hand for fives, but then I feel a little bad about it too. How is this better than Republicans questioning Kerry's manliness? And why is manliness an issue anyway? Oh, right. Flight suit and all that. I suppose the answer is: it's not better. It's eye for an eye. And, you know, a lot of people believe in that. Overreaction? Maybe. I've been known to be a bit of a purist about these things. Anyway. Just musing. [via LAT]

Really? Four?

Howie Kurtz writes, "Four years after the biggest embarrassment in the history of television news, network executives are vowing to do better on Nov. 2." And here I thought that embarrassment was only about a year and a half removed. [bugmenot WaPo]

Uh, either would be okay

So, two notes.

1. Interview with The Dresden Dolls (or one of 'em) is in Flagpole today. And also, heh, an article by one Emerson Dameron on Athens bloggers, the first of many, no doubt. I don't think Emerson knows me, but I've had him pointed out to me, and he snagged a copy of Granta that I left through bookcrossing.

2. Was working on this poetry shizz while waiting for this bus this a.m. and came upon Ben Jonson's "To John Donne," which made me think of someone.

So here.

Who shall doubt, Donne, where* I a Poet bee,
When I dare send my Epigrammes to thee?
That so alone canst judge, so'alone dost make:
And, in thy censures, evenly, dost take
As free simplicitie, to dis-avow,
As thou hast best authoritie, t'allow.
Reade all I send : and, if I find but one
Mark'd by thy hand, and with the better stone,
My title's seal'd. Those that for claps doe write,
Let pui'nees**, porters, players praise delight,
And, till they burst, their backs, like asses load:
A man should seeke great glorie, and not broad.

*slurring of "whether"
**pui'nees = "juniors"

Quick note

Man, if anyone sees the New Yorker piece on Creflo Dollar floating around online, please drop me a line. I think it goes pretty nicely with recent musings on the weird intersection between commerce/commerciality and certain forms of modern Christianity. Not to mention it's just pretty well done and has local interest.

Searching through the jungles of the Amazon

Here, for those who don't know what George Saunders was talking about in his answer when Slate asked a bunch of novelists who they were voting for, from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn:

One time Tom sent a boy to run about town with a blazing stick, which he called a slogan (which was the sign for the Gang to get together), and then he said he had got secret news by his spies that next day a whole parcel of Spanish merchants and rich A-rabs was going to camp in Cave Hollow with two hundred elephants, and six hundred camels, and over a thousand "sumter" mules, all loaded down with di'monds, and they didn't have only a guard of four hundred soldiers, and so we would lay in ambuscade, as he called it, and kill the lot and scoop the things. He said we must slick up our swords and guns, and get ready. He never could go after even a turnip-cart but he must have the swords and guns all scoured up for it, though they was only lath and broomsticks, and you might scour at them till you rotted, and then they warn't worth a mouthful of ashes more than what they was before. I didn't believe we could lick such a crowd of Spaniards and A-rabs, but I wanted to see the camels and elephants, so I was on hand next day, Saturday, in the ambuscade; and when we got the word we rushed out of the woods and down the hill. But there warn't no Spaniards and A-rabs, and there warn't no camels nor no elephants. It warn't anything but a Sunday-school picnic, and only a primer class at that. We busted it up, and chased the children up the hollow; but we never got anything but some doughnuts and jam...and then the teacher charged in, and made us drop everything and cut. I didn't see no di'monds, and I told Tom Sawyer so. He said there was loads of them there, anyway; and he said there was A-rabs there, too, and elephants and things. I said why couldn't we see them, then? He said if I warn't so ignorant but had read a book called Don Quixote, I would know without asking. He said it was all done by enchantment. He said there was hundreds of soldiers there, and elephants and treasure, and so on, but we had enemies which he called magicians, and they had turned the whole thing into an infant Sunday school, just out of spite.

Anyway, there's even a bit more to it than that, but this should provide a little illumination. Also, props to Orbis Quintus in general, who's been content-mad lately.

So a pussy is someone who doesn't believe in killing people but does believe in international due process?

Ugh. These guys really tick me off so much sometimes. And yet, I'm a fan of South Park for the most part. I think it's a clever show and usually very funny. But eff. I mean, when they're asked, "What about the people who'd say, Well, you've got to get out of your bubble and check out the world and see how fucked up things are for everyone else," this is the response:

Stone: It's about optimism, though. That's the big thing about the movie; that end message is about American optimism. And that's the difference between America and the rest of the world, because if you go to Europe, people are not optimistic about the future there. And Americans do have a naive optimism about that -- it's not just us, and the fact that we live in this L.A. bubble -- I think all Americans have this naive optimism and have for a long time. And a lot of times it's naive, and it's unfounded, and it's even wrong, but it's somehow that optimism that keeps America looking forward and trying to make the world better. And I really do think that's something that's unique to America that doesn't exist in a lot of the world.

And this:

Stone: I think that when Trey wrote "America! Fuck, Yeah!" -- that song? That, to me, encapsulates it. We could talk for hours about America's overzealous stance overseas, but there's also, you know, "America! Fuck, Yeah!" too. And somehow that song encapsulates an hourlong conversation. When people ask me, "What's your attitude about America?" I think of Trey's song. That's the perfect way to put it. It's awesome, and you have to admit it's also a little cheesily testosterone-driven at the same time ...

And this:

Parker: But another thing that goes along with the optimism part of it is basically the idea of, well, if I'm not going to have a fucking great time and I'm not going to really appreciate and enjoy and say life is great, then there really is no hope. Because all of the hope for the world is that there can be a great life, and to me, I'm proof of that, that there can be a great life. And yes, it's all about trying to dole that out to as many people as possible, but it's also about, when you have a great country, and it all works, and your life is awesome, then be able to say so! But for some reason, it's almost taboo to say, My fucking life is awesome, and I have a great time, and I have a sweet house and a nice car. People are like [using a scolding voice], "Hey, hey, hey, hey!"

Yeah, you cocks. They are. Because nobody needs to hear it. What good does it do? I know they'd be the first to admit they're not politically sophisticated, but in general I feel they're coming off like proudly rude, crude radio DJs who throw around the phrase "politically incorrect" a lot. Idiots. [Salon, so you'll have to do the clickthrough]

Champagne comes first though

Less wonky. Is it a joke? Is it not? Does it matter? Let's move beyond questioning the nature of things and recognize that fun trumps it all. [If you don't have sound enabled on your machine, you're not gonna get all the greatness.] Also, I like how his four main things in life change slightly from the main page to the "about" section. Slightly being the key word. Am really hoping "tra la la" catches on as a euphemism, albeit a not particularly masculine one.

Hobbyhorse (hey, we can use a calculator)

Letter today in the Banner-Herald from nearly 200 faculty members re: budget cuts. I mostly appreciate the sentiment of it, but this bit is off:

Budget cuts are destroying the quality of education at UGA and throughout the system. Because the only way to meet the cuts has been to decrease the size of the faculty drastically, hundreds of positions are now vacant.

It absolutely has not been the only way to meet the cuts. And while attrition certainly sucks the big one, staff members losing their jobs sucks more. It's a good letter for the most part, but it does reinforce the impression of faculty as walking around with their heads in the clouds a little bit.

More about the Regents meeting on Wednesday. "Everything is still fluid."

Perdue meets with them today to urge them not to raise tuition and to find the money elsewhere. Mark Taylor yet again says something stupid: "It's a shame the midyear tuition increase is a first response. Hopefully, students and families can declare victory today." State lawmakers want to crack down on the Regents' autonomy. Agreed that there need to be checks and balances, but also on the state government.

SGA Veep Mallory Kate Grebel asks the gov 1) if he thinks instruction = fat, and 2) to put his money where his mouth is.

R&B talks about the faculty petition going to Perdue today, which presumably has the same nearly 200 signatures as the letter mentioned earlier (yes, the editorial makes that clear). Am sort of surprised it's not signed by more faculty (at 2,859, as listed on the school's quick facts page, that comes to just under 7 percent; while the student petition was signed by 10,011 at UGA, almost 30 percent of the total student body, including grads and Gwinnett students).

Unintentionally apt

Sometimes a mangled metaphor can end up being more accurate than if all things went as planned. Witness: ABH article on general ACC Commission goings on, containing update on the whole rental registration deal (i.e., passed by the commission, struck down by the state, not yet returned to by the commission) and this priceless quote from my fine commissioner:

"I have given up on that," said Commissioner States McCarter, an strong supporter of rental registration. "It's like riding a dead horse."

I mean, beating one may be a waste of time, but riding one? You've gotta be an idiot. Case, um, rested.

No more rhetorical questions

At least not ones concerning the mind of the Creator. Ah. Well. Next year? Didn't see the flames or the going down. Just heard reports from the other room. The crowd seemed loud, and I appreciate them not giving up. I'm not going to say anything nasty about my team; in a lot of ways, it was impressive that they made it as far as they did. Houston's certainly good. So is St. Louis. Go, National League, in a very mild way. And at least this way I can get some sleep during the coming weeks.

Hobbyhorse (interpretation is important)

Same story, two very different ledes. ABH:

ATLANTA - Students opposed to a mid-year tuition increase rallied at the state Capitol on Friday, asking Gov. Sonny Perdue to undo millions of dollars in cuts to higher education that university officials blame for the possible hike.

AJC:

About 150 college students from across Georgia rallied Friday at the state Capitol to protest budget cuts they fear could lead to a midyear tuition increase and erode educational quality.

Would the Banner-Herald stop characterizing student opposition to Perdue's plan as entirely based on the tuition hike? SGA has already sent them a letter about this. I know these two don't seem all that different, but the point is that ABH puts the anti-tuition increase first, and AJC fronts opposition to the budget cuts. (Not entirely fair. It's a Morris story technically, not ABH specifically.) R&B's take on the same story.

Also, Becky Vaughn's taking on Kemp in a big way, suggesting there is money in the budget that could cover the gap. Honestly, I think they probably both have points, and governmental budgeting can be ridiculously complex (i.e., her pointing out that there's a surplus from last year doesn't necessarily mean the state is allowed to use that surplus; at least, that's the way it works at the university; every fiscal year ends with a spending frenzy because if you haven't spent all of your budget, you don't roll over what you saved; you just don't get as much the next year), but it's nice to see her teeth.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

This is an example of what not to do at a game. 

The, um, other highlight of the evening. As promised. 

How many years did that take off my life?

This past weekend in sports, that is.

1) If the Braves hadn't pulled one out yesterday, it would've been completely awful. But they did. Dramatically. And I simply can't believe that God hates my team enough to have them lose at home in the fifth game of a five-game series for the third year in a row. He can't, can he? At any rate, I probably won't get to watch a lot of the game tonight (obligations to the moms), so it's not in my hands (not to mention that may be a good thing, since I caught every minute of the final game for the previous two years running).

2) Gotta love the announcers referring to the "veteran" Russ Ortiz. I mean, he's not a kid, certainly, at 30. But compared to Roger Clemens? He might as well be a damn rookie. Also, is it possible that I now hate Brantley more than Morgan? Yeah, it is, after Brantley continuing to try to create controversy by suggesting, on the flip side of his previous slur that Cruz hit Beltran on purpose, that Charles Thomas allowed himself to be hit on purpose. On the knee. Because that's totally likely. Especially when he doesn't have padding on.

3) Georgia's the team that really nearly killed me though, with the game coming down to the last second and a fourth-quarter comeback that just shouldn't have happened. When there have already been so many miracle last-minute wins in David Greene's tenure, you are inclined to root against your own team when they've underachieved the entire game and Fast Freddy Gibson manages to get out of bounds around the 20 with a second left in the game when a touchdown will win it because you know that if they do win this one, your heart will literally burst out of your chest and run around the living room. Thank God that game ended in the appropriate fashion, with an interception on a Hail Mary in the end zone. The laws of the universe can only be violated so often before the apocalypse is a sure thing, and, much as I love my team, I love existence more.