Gentlemen, choose your weapons

I mean, what is going on between Stylus and Pitchfork? Pep today's article from the latter, bumping it up to the top 100 singles from 2000-2004, hot on the heels of the former's top 50. On the other hand, it means I get to break out that calculator feature on my machine again...

We're getting slightly more logical this time. Stylus's entries will be multiplied by two to reflect their placement, and then averaged with PF's, to produce a more accurate combined list.

94--Fischerspooner, "Emerge" (#100 PF, #44 Stylus)
90--Eminem, "The Real Slim Shady" (#96 PF, #42 Stylus)
85.5--The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army" (#97 PF, #37 Stylus)
82.5--Panjabi MC, "Beware of the Boys" (#67 PF, #49 Stylus)
79.5--Freelance Hellraiser, "A Stroke of Genius" (#87 PF, #36 Stylus)
75--TV on the Radio, "Staring at the Sun"/Young Liars EP (#88 PF, #31 Stylus)
70.5--Usher, "Yeah" (#93 PF, #24 Stylus)
69.5--Jay-Z, "Big Pimpin'" (#83 PF, #28 Stylus)
68.5--Dizzee Rascal, "Fix Up, Look Sharp" (#47 PF, #45 Stylus)
65--Basement Jaxx, "Where's Your Head at?" (#94 PF, #18 Stylus)
63--Clipse, "Grindin'" (#92 PF, #17 Stylus)
59.5--The Walkmen, "The Rat" (#33 PF, #43 Stylus)
59--Jay-Z, "Izzo" (#38 PF, #40 Stylus)
58--Basement Jaxx, "Romeo" (#24 PF, #46 Stylus)
51--M.I.A., "Galang" (#20 PF, #41 Stylus)
49.5--Jurgen Paape, "So Weit Wie Noch Nie" (#55 PF, #22 Stylus)
49.5--Eminem, "Lose Yourself" (#53 PF, #23 Stylus)
45.5--Franz Ferdinand, "Take Me Out" (#25 PF, #33 Stylus)
45--Jay-Z, "99 Problems" (#22 PF, #34 Stylus)
37.5--Aaliyah, "Try Again" (#37 PF, #19 Stylus)
35--Annie, "Heartbeat" (#6 PF, #32 Stylus)
33.5--!!!, "Me and Giuliani..." (#45 PF, #11 Stylus)
32--The White Stripes, "Fell in Love with a Girl" (#14 PF, #25 Stylus)
31--Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Maps" (#10 PF, #26 Stylus)
30.5--LCD Soundsystem, "Yeah" (#19 PF, #21 Stylus)
28.5--50 Cent, "In Da Club" (#17 PF, #20 Stylus)
23.5--Kelis, "Milkshake" (#21 PF, #13 Stylus)
23--Daft Punk, "Digital Love" (#16 PF, #15 Stylus)
20.5--Britney, "Toxic" (#13 PF, #14 Stylus)
19.5--Beyonce, "Crazy in Love" (#7 PF, #16 Stylus)
19--Outkast, "Ms. Jackson" (#18 PF, #10 Stylus)
16.5--Dizzee Rascal, "I Luv U" (#23 PF, #5 Stylus)
16--Missy Elliott, "Work It" (#8 PF, #12 Stylus)
14.5--Justin Timberlake, "Cry Me a River" (#11 PF, #9 Stylus)
9.5--Kylie, "Can't Get You Out of My Head" (#5 PF, #7 Stylus)
8.5--The Rapture, "House of Jealous Lovers" (#9 PF, #4 Stylus)
8--Missy Elliott, "Get Ur Freak On" (#4 PF, #6 Stylus)
7--R. Kelly, "Ignition (Remix)" (#12 PF, #1 Stylus)
4--Outkast, "Hey Ya" (#2 PF, #3 Stylus)
2.5--Outkast, "Bombs Over Baghdad" (#1 PF, #2 Stylus)

Props to PF for including "Clint Eastwood," "Say My Name," "I Believe in a Thing Called Love," "Danger! High Voltage," and "Move Your Feet," but still... no "Beautiful." Even with 100 entries. What up, y'all?

Hobbyhorse

1) No surprises here, except that someone's got the spelling wrong. E or U? Leebern reappointed. Alumni association can't find own ass with both hands, flashlight. Shipp thinks everyone's making a big deal out of a little nothing, and as far as a lot of it's concerned, he's right, but then, he says this: "Money from the sale (an estimated $9,000) went to UGA." Mmm, sort of. This fella accuses the ABH of smearing Yoculan and Leebern on behalf of Vince Dooley, which is so ridiculous as not to necessitate a response. R&B quotes UGA folk trying not to get on the gov's bad side: "Jackson said the University wouldn't go against any of the governor's decisions and that appointments were the governor's prerogative." Which translates as, "please don't hit me again. I'll do whatever you want."

2) I'm not pro-binge drinking, but I am pro-right to binge drinking. And I don't think I like Adams talking about messing with zoning. The article itself seems to make the case that there's not really a problem that needs to be taken care of, which is appreciated.

3) MNS has quick coverage of current progress on education in the General Assembly. That is, it's all cool so far, as long as stuff has been free or close to it. Also, this piece on sparring over who loves God more, which opens with this sentence, "Like boxers who are each aiming to nab a title belt, Republicans and Democrats are now sparring at the Georgia Capitol for the right to claim the 'conservative' banner for their respective parties." Can I put a C-note on the Republicans?

4) Hey, gotta love how fast they learn. MNS sure Ctrl-C + Ctrl-V'd this paragraph from the press release:

The House also could begin considering the "Women's Right to Know" legislation, a multipronged bill aimed at reducing the overall number of abortions in the state while improving safety for the procedure.

5) Hey, just because there aren't any conspiring cabals at the Banner-Herald doesn't mean they don't exist anywhere, kiddo.

6) Clock. Clock! Yep yep yep yep yep yep. Clock.

7) This article on the lower credit-hour limits covered by HOPE at technical colleges really should provide more context. What would be a more reasonable amount of credit hours to cover? It does seem to me that scholarships to technical school are at least as important (if not more so) than those to liberal arts colleges and universities, as far as having a skilled and educated citizenry state-wide.

8) Jason implies having the anti-cruising ordinance in place earlier might have saved Phillip Cole. Ahem. Helps make the point, but I doubt it.

9) Oh, chortle. You silly editor. Small town America isn't like Andy Griffith. It's more like Dirty Harry. Another letter on the same topic is thankful for the efficiency of the event.

10) Co-valedictorian from '77 sez "Courses must be better, not harder." But we all agree with that, right? I don't think anyone's pushing for more busy work.

11) Best suggestion yet for naming! (2nd letter) Note to those not from around here: The "Mehre" is pronounced like "mere," and the two words sort of slide together, making it a favorite building on campus for many.

12) Okay, so abolishing The Key wouldn't automatically make all students smart, but it would be a push in the right direction. For one thing, they'd have to do a little more work to find those easy classes, thus exercising brain cells even in the process of trying to avoid doing so.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Who mistook the steak for chicken?

Man o man. If you had this, why would you ever think about this? Not that the latter is bad looking or anything, but dude...

So also like

Seriously, what did my state do? Four fucking hurricanes and an ice storm in the space of less than half a year. Does God hate trees now or something? Did they vote for hatin' on the gays? I don't think so.

Movie Diary

1) Spider-Man 2: Am guessing it is more overwhelming and such on the big screen, but even after much consideration, I do prefer the first one. For one thing, I like the origin stuff. For another, it had a better script, I'm thinking, though I haven't rewatched of late. This is still much better than 90 percent of superhero/comix flicks, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have major weaknesses, including a tendency to overstate jokes that are lame to begin with (J pointing out esp the scene with the "eat your vegetables" joke, which is followed by the kid saying "that's what my mom always tells me to do," which is unnecessary, since the fact that everyone's mom tells them that is the foundation of the joke) and an excess of sky-focused "noooo"s. And Kirsten Dunst's acting in the play within the movie? Oy. A lot of these weaknesses I can also see as being related to its real comic-bookiness (that is, the overreactions are very much so), but that doesn't mean they don't annoy me. On the other hand? Those arms are fucking cool. For my money, the best scene in the movie is the hospital one, which is as Raimi as it gets these days.

2) Cellular: Now this was nicely done. It takes a simple idea and wrings everything it can out of it, and it moves. Sure, when you're picking up the box, you might have thoughts of Phone Booth, and I wouldn't blame you for being nervous, but there's no comparison. That was horrible and bloated and boring, and this is a tight little genre piece that flies like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And Chris Evans does a great job coming out of nowhere and making you move from thinking "who the hell is this pretty boy TV actor?" to very much rooting for him. Star in the making, definitely.

3) Open Water: J liked this more than I did. I thought it was okay, but was rather too aggravated by the main characters (the only characters). Wanted to root for the sharks, but they didn't have much personality either. I like restrictions, but when you don't like the results, they can be frustrating. Not an actioner at all; more about the human drama, which (again) not a problem unless you really dislike the humans involved and just want them to shut up and get eaten. Howevs, does contain the line, "Let's swim out of this puke."

4) Pet Sematary: Thank you, AMC. I'd been wanting to catch this for a while, being a big fan of the sequel (which takes it in a more comic direction), so its being on at an opportune time made it a must.* Why didn't anyone tell me this movie has a zombie baby in it? A badass zombie baby, who is both deadly and cute? Really enjoyed it, though it's not as actually good as Cujo, being more in the category of Maximum Overdrive (i.e., a bit stupid, but very recognizably King and full of gusto).

5) Unfortunately, it was followed by Graveyard Shift, which stank. Good opener and nice job by Brad Dourif, but mostly boring, with endless crashing through floors.

6) Four episodes of The Hunger, the TV show, which I assumed couldn't be as bad as its eponymous film, but in fact is much, much, much worse. It tries to be a Tales from the Crypt-type thing, but completely fails, and it's annoyingly directed to boot, with awful jump cuts, bad lighting, stupid camera angles, and the sort of music that sets one's teeth on edge. There are moments where it crosses the line into bad enough to be entertaining, but mostly it doesn't even manage that.

7) The Wrong Man: If it weren't based on a true story, one would say the coincidences contained in the plot are ridiculous, but it is, and they happened. At first, you think it'll be about dirty cops, but really they behave quite reasonably, and yet Hitch still conveys his terror of law enforcement. Fonda is marvy, but when is he not? Neat and unexpected weirdness with Miles's character as the film progresses and good tension throughout.

*though the power and cable both kept flickering because of the ice storm, leading to me getting pissed off repeatedly

What is the sound you really don't want to hear in the middle of an ice storm?

 Crack. Boom. Couldn't probably have fallen in a much better place. Hopefully that's our bad luck for the next few years.

Correlation? Causation?

Adrian wondered if drivers in Athens had gotten worse of late.

This is still the #3 video game selling from amazon.

What connects the two? I've been told by more than one person that after playing a lot of the game, one's desire to transgress the laws of traffic becomes much stronger. Perhaps some people's superegos are simply weaker than others.

Rampant

#1: Women look stupid on TV. [bugmenot]

#2: Wait, men look stupid on TV. [bugmenot]

Attention, men, women: Many of you are, in fact, stupid. [via]

Motherfucking Halftime Show retitled next?

I'm just saying. Anyone who wants to do a touchdown celebration involving the taking off or putting on of imaginary pants had darn well better make sure to put on their invisible undies too. [via]

Hobbyhorse

1) Re Leebern: a line has been crossed. AJC thinks he should go. He defends himself in an op-ed, disses AJC's "warped liberal agenda," is proud they don't want him reappointed, says, "As is commonly done with donations, it [the $9K check] was properly earmarked for a designated fund under the aegis of UGA President Michael Adams." Hrm. Wouldn't it have looked a bit better not to donate it to something that appears to be Adams's expense account? AJC also covers the newsworthiness of the editorial, in which the question of conflict of interest comes up. R&B refers to a "miscommunication," but we don't find out what it was. Student op-ed defends Leebern because, um, he's an awesome guy, and we love alcohol. We do, really, but that's not the issue. And neither is couplehood, particularly. Perdue hasn't said anything yet.

2) Op-ed in ABH from spouse of Journalism prof, saying "give academics a break," which, like, would be so easy to do if they didn't complain about not making enough money:

Like many of you, we have bills and mortgages to pay and two children to raise, all on a very modest salary. In fact, after two years, we will finally, this month, see our income grow by less than $25 a week. This comes after five years of graduate school and 10 years of teaching. Contrary to popular opinion, we are not in the same league as University of Georgia President Michael Adams or, for that matter, UGA head football coach Mark Richt. It continually amazes me that whenever anyone discusses the excesses of the university, the finger is so quickly pointed at the professor trying to raise a family on $57,000 a year without ever questioning the $1.5 million annual salary paid to a football coach.

True, yes, but does this mean she doesn't have a job? Because I'm guessing he makes the $57K, which as an individual salary? Not peanuts.

3) More on Elton Dodson's desire to make smoking illegal. Owner of Broad Street Bar & Grill presents the business take on it:

"People know they can have have dinner here and one drink, then go to a bar and smoke," he said. "If it was a full ban, and if it was enforced everywhere, it wouldn't be that way."

Or (get this) if there weren't a ban at all, it would be that way. R&B's cartoon has the general idea right, but attributes the desire for it to bartenders. Not as far as I know.

4) This is ri-god-damn-diculous. Hello? Major Major Major Major? Have I got a story for you.

5) That art history degree is totally gonna help you out in your Burger King management career.

6) Here we go again. Let's make the poor pay for their own damn education. You know, it's a little odd when the Republicans start expressing concerns about inequality.

7) You know, when you see the headline "What cost came with Oglethorpe store robbery?" you do maybe expect to read a bit about excessive force, but apparently, it's the loss of our innocence we're worried about.

Has this area, particularly the largely rural stretches that remain in Oglethorpe County and elsewhere in the region - places where doors aren't necessarily always locked, and keys might sometimes be left in cars - become the sort of place where people have to resort to arming themselves to protect their businesses and other property?

Point being, it probably hasn't. So why do they? This dude is more than willing to trade his innocence for bloodlust.

8) Parkway Group: we were totally honest about our petition being bullshit.

9) Outrage! New elevator frames? They'll be giving all staff health coverage next.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Oompah + Tom Lehrer

That might be an approach to describing this feller and his video for "Keep Your Jesus off My Penis." Rather catchy. [via ILM, which is down right now]

Movie Diary (the whelm edition)

1) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: So, I don't want to talk this down, especially because it did provide some serious laffs, but it's also a tetch overesteemed. The thing is, there's this kind of humor (maybe it's DGO; or you could just call it absurdist, as J pointed out, seeing that Ionesco et al were doing it years and years ago) that does weird for weird's sake, and sometimes just weird isn't all that funny. But sometimes it is. It's not the silliness I have a problem with--I'm all about the silly--it's just that it occasionally feels like laziness not to bother to write a joke. J also thought it felt like a stretched-out SNL sketch, in that the plot's really not part of the joke, which (again) is not a huge deal. It just shows that it's not a perfect movie. On the other hand, Steve Carell was brill. On the other other hand, maybe an excess of celebrity cameos. But, on the fourth of my hands, I really did enjoy it.

2) Prom Night: Pretty underwhelming, despite its reputation as a classic of the slasher genre, though the bit where it turns into a full-on disco musical is rad. The beginning (that is, the set-up, with the kids) is promising, and there are interestingly weird characters (Seymour "Slick" Crane and his bad-ass van), but it's not scary for a minute, and all the running around in the dark gets frustrating fast on a very unremastered VHS copy.

3) Collateral: Now this I was really impressed with. Again, not perfect, in that it's a little speechy at times (which I only mind because it seems to be aiming for realism) and Michael Mann still picks cornball music, but as far as this kind of thing* goes, I think it's superior to Training Day. It's tighter, better looking, and more suspenseful, and I think the performances of Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise add up to a greater thing than those of Denzel and Ethan Hawke in that flick. Foxx is especially watchable (and I'm guessing I'd rather he win for this than for Ray, even though I've yet to see that, because it's a much less showy role), but Cruise is good too. I've mentioned before on here, I'd think, how much I love to watch him run, and though I think he falters a little when given the speechifying moments, the part in general lets him be this beautiful, sleek, dangerous animal, and that he can do very well. The way he steps out of the subway train, for example, seems full of instinct and very focused. It's also, as J said, probably the most immediately entertaining movie Mann's ever done, two hours being short for him.

*two dudes, one good and one bad, driving around L.A. together getting into trouble

Newsflash: Dream Reader Invented

And The Onion's got one. This is rather embarrasingly accurate (green pencils aside). [via JKD]

RIP, you marvelous old bastard

98 is not exactly a life cut short. Good on yer.

"All architecture is shelter, all great architecture is the design of space that contains, cuddles, exalts, or stimulates the persons in that space."

It has been decided

The best possible song to audition for American Idol with is their own theme song. Yes, it's about 10 seconds long and has no lyrics, and you'd have to sing the instrumental stuff (DA na DA na Da na da na) before the small vocal bit (haaa-AAAA), but you could also do the generic person lifting a microphone pose. And it would be awesome.

Hobbyhorse

1) You thought there couldn't be more to the wine story, but you would be wrong, because buried almost at the end of this AJC story is this lovely little tidbit:

However, Georgia Crown in October sent a check to UGA for $9,000, apparently as a contribution in lieu of a licensing fee. The invoice states that the check was designated for UGA President Michael Adams' supplemental expense account.

Wrigley said the university did not cash the check because it does not have an official licensing agreement with Georgia Crown. He said he did not know why the money was earmarked for Adams' account instead of the alumni association.

Un. Fucking. Believable.

2) For some reason, everyone hates public service. The governor, Michael Adams, the legislature... And Kemp? "Kemp said Dunning, who could not be reached for comment Tuesday, expressed the importance of the public service institutes and said his goal now is to convey that importance to other legislators." But, you know, he'll still vote for the cuts and all.

3) Meredith's address, in full.

We are appreciative of the Governor's recommendation regarding the two percent merit salary increase for faculty and staff that totals $17.7 million. People are the System's greatest and most powerful asset. We are people intensive; our people are our heart and soul. We must continue to do everything possible to retain our outstanding teaching faculty, researchers, student support employees and talented administrators. We have seen a great deal of pressure from other states seeking to recruit our good people. This recommendation helps keep Georgia competitive in its salary levels to attract and retain the best faculty and staff. Currently the University System ranks 4th among the 16 Southern Regional Education Board states in faculty salaries.

And where do staff rank? I'm guessing, uh, lower.

4) The Day Jobs already have this story. It's worth a read. Ooh, and an accompanying story:

Miller, a former law officer who ran for sheriff last year, stopped his own robbers two years ago as two masked men entered his store, brandished handguns and announced, "This is a robbery!"

"No, it's not," Miller said as he drew his own gun and opened fire. Miller's father, Jack, owner of the Junction Package store in Crawford, pulled his 16-gauge shotgun and fired off a shot, as well.

5) Athens driving conditions to get even worse?

6) Oh, Oconee County, we love you.

The land designated for the park, directly across the road from Herman C. Michael Park, so far has simply been known as "the new park."

7) Community Conversations, Schmommunity Schmonversations.

8) Faculty thinking about getting rid of The Key. One teacher even thinks students shouldn't be allowed to evaluate him. Way to throw your point out the window, you arrogant jackass.

9) Being in love means never having to say you're sorry.

10) SGA's party names are confusing because they change so much. And because they don't mean anything. Because pretty much everyone running for SGA has the same opinion: "Dude! This is gonna look awesome on my resume!"

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Insidious (and entertaining) political propaganda

That's really what Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy is. As J put it, "it makes liberals look really bad," and even if you sort of know that, you still watch it and sympathize with the family with the Bush-Cheney sign in their front yard. Because, even if they're into hunting and their daughter got her eye shot out with a bb-gun and they're from (god forbid) Tennessee, they're also sort of normal and actually love each other. That is to say, they're laid back. When this show started, it seemed all about pitting two extremes against one another, but (as J also observed) all you really need is one extreme. Say: normal family + repressed OCD clean-freak family entirely under the thumb of dictator mom who seems to think that if there's any free time in your day, it had better be spent vaccuuming. It's also the sort of show that, if my blinds weren't already closed most of the time, I'd close my blinds to watch. It is full of the horrible, flawed mass that is humanity, both in what is seen and how it is presented. It makes me squirm, I get so uncomfortable watching it at times. And? All of that is sort of part of the appeal.

Police Blotter (the law was called)

There is something very Wyatt Earp about that phrase.

Damage: On Jan. 20, a woman contacted the sheriff's office about a problem with a woman. She explained she temporarily had gone to stay with her mother, who was ill, and made arrangements for her ex-husband to move into her home in her absence and stay with their son. They agreed when she was able to return home, the ex-husband would move out. But during this time, the ex-husband allowed another woman to move into the house and now this woman didn't want to leave. The law was called to have the woman leave the house. The next day, the victim found someone had poured sugar into the gas tank of her car. Also, her house was trashed, numerous items were broken and a painting valued at $2,000 is missing.

The law also tells a good story, with a beginning (not cooperating), middle/climax (tasering), and end (cooperating).

Arrest: On Jan. 19, Deputy Laura Teet was dispatched to a hit-and-run incident on Old Epps Bridge Road, where she talked with two males and some females about the accident. As they were talking, the suspected car, a green Lincoln Towncar, passed and Teet followed and stopped it on Elm Street. Calvin Harris, 31, of Elm Street, got out of the car and Teet said he smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech. Teet took Harris to the Watkinsville Police Department for an alcohol test, but Harris told the deputies, he was not going to cooperate. Deputy Byron Smith told him to cooperate or he would be shot with a taser gun. Harris told him to go ahead because he wasn't afraid of a taser. Smith pulled out his taser and deployed it into Harris' midsection. Afterward, Harris did just as the deputies told him to do. He took the alcohol test which showed a reading of .20. And he explained in detail how the previous traffic accident had occurred. He was charged with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident.

This guy doesn't have a grasp of the seriousness of the situation:

Arrest: On Jan. 23, Deputy Marvin Williams was on routine patrol about 10 a.m. when he saw a man putting trash into a dumpster beside the Allstate office near Kroger. Williams stopped and asked the man if he had permission to be putting trash into the bin and the man said no. He then asked to see the man's identification and the man refused to remove his license from his wallet. The man then said, "I'm not taking it out. You can see it. You can shoot me." Willliams arrested Willie B. Thomas, 57, of Carter Street, Athens, on a charge of obstruction.

How far will this much gas get you in a '79 Cutlass Supreme? To the next block?

Theft: On Jan. 21, a clerk at Murphy USA reported a man in a red 1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass pumped $3 worth of gasoline and drove off without paying.

All the rest is here.

Pushing it

You darn kids. Why must you turn the bitterness produced by your sad little lives on not only Kanye, but Eamon? Should I even mention the long, fawning tribute to this year's indie rock that comes in the middle of the piece?

Best ever?

Getting an email first thing in the morning, subject-line: "Budget Cuts." Hoo-yeah.

TAR-love

Why Lori mad at Bolo? Bolo love Lori.

Sigh.

Who to root for now?

Also, it is pleasing to note that the one person stricken with stomach ailments is precisely the one nearly all of us would have picked. Heh.

OMG! You guys are, like, so mean!

Yeah. It's only the producers who feel that way. [bugmenot] [via]

Panty-watch

4) "We need to be in New York," said the Texan, Eric S. Langan, sitting on a balcony inside the club while young women in lacy black bra-and-panty numbers moved to the electronic drum beat throbbing off the dull green walls. [from "Moving In on New York Laps," an article about a new strip joint chain in the city, owned by a Texan and specializing in Southern hospitality or some such nonsense, by Michael Brick, 01/21/05; also contains this sentence: "His would-be competitors scoff and call him naïve, perhaps willfully so: They say New Yorkers know good and well how to run a classy strip club."]

5) We've both called out at the same time. She appears at the door to the bathroom, in panties and a black blouse. I start making my way into the apartment, but he blocks my way. She asks what's going on. She asks him what's going on. [from an extract from Dider van Cauwelaert's Out of My Head, in the First Chapters section, 01/23/05; does this count?]

[Previously]

Hobbyhorse

1) You know what's fun to say? Bootle!

2) Sputter! "the average UGA professor only gets paid for nine months of the year"! Okay, true, but what is the average salary of a UGA professor? Are they living on ramen noodles during the summer?

3) Am I losing my touch? Did I really not notice who owns the distributor of the UGA logo wine? Somebody's doing his best not to get reappointed. Also, item e of the listed prohibitions wrt the logo is beautifully worded indeed. The Red & Black did notice.

And how can President Michael Adams, who frequently takes occasion to espouse the virtues of ethical leadership and rigorous academic preparation, do nothing while Leebern flouts these concerns?

How indeed... He is gonna be pissed when they find the cache of Hairy-Dawg-themed toilet seats though. [Note ridiculous cartoon as well, featuring our glorious leader.]

4) Jmac's already covered this. Jackass!

5) Athens tweens run wild!

6) Taylor introduces legislation with catchy name to benefit self politically. Yay!

7) Jack Davis loves hot dogs, possums!

8) ABH fooled once. Apparently not twice yet.

9) Late-breaking news: who gives a fuck?

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot MT]

Gayest thing ever?

If for gay, you read awesome. Or even if you don't. [from Bunny]

Shooting for sideways by the end of the evening

The mere fact that Adam Duritz is nominated for an Academy Award makes me fondly remember the Oscars two years ago, in which I yet see smooching and booing through a delightful haze of Cabernet. Did I pay for it the next day, when I dragged myself to work? Yes, but the dissolving of cares into giggles and drooling was worth it.

OMG, we can totally tell

Brit-Brit's new video is up and around online, and while it's not terrible, it's also not "Toxic," that is, the video is great, but the song could be better. I mean, you see a pink Hummer that can fly, you expect great things, and mere okay things are in the offing. The song itself is a bit "It's Tricky," which ain't bad, but it doesn't go enough places. One can't help but admire the enforced mini-jacket/capelet* uniform though, and when Brit dances around in a pink, fluffy version of the outerwear, with one leg of her capris (yeah, that's right, capris) rolled way the hell up and asks, "Can you tell I'm having fun?" I think the only answer is the one above, which is what makes it nice to watch. [via]

*Does it count as a capelet if it sort of appears to have sleeves?

Bam!

So the promos for 24 promised that the first ten minutes would be the most exciting yet of the season, and they were not bad at all, with nice split-screen work between the trial of the Secretary of Defense and Jack Bauer in action. But dude. Dude! They really kicked it up at the end. Blowing up a train, meh. Kidnapping and trial with execution all over the Internet, meh. You want a terrorist plot? We'll give you a fuckin' terrorist plot, loyal viewers. Boo ya!

Movie Diary (alternate title edition)

Close Your Eyes: aka Doctor Sleep, and should be aka, according to J, Chocolate Sky. Spooky, hypnotism crime flick, with occult stuff throughout. Better than average as far as this sort of thing goes, but still containing the requisite number of cliches (oh really? the points on the map form a diagram of some sort?). Occasionally frustrating because of the protagonists' (Shirley Henderson, who I've already expressed appreciation for, and Goran Visnjic) apparent inability to do research other than by interviewing people. For god's sake. There are these things called libraries, and when someone's written a book and turns out to be unhelpful interviewee, you might want to flip through it, or even check out this new interweb whatnot. But anyway, it survives both these drawbacks and has some neat hallucinatory moments.

Hobbyhorse

1) Why it sucks so bad when the university's budget gets cut. "A newly released study on the University System of Georgia's role in the state's economy, pointed out that UGA, with 33,405 students, accounts for $2 billion in the Athens-area economy."

2) If you are looking for a university job, you might want to check out the area of private fundraising. I will say that it generally feels like those dollars go to new buildings and add-ons, rather than funding what needs to be funded, but that may be inaccurate.

3) Shipp's column about the suck-ass state of education in Georgia is worth a read.

4) Most schools unweight grades when looking at students. If the HOPE folks don't, that would be a problem with their system. I definitely see both sides of it, but lean a bit toward not weighting, as my school didn't.

5) OMG! UGA logo on a wine bottle! Against Regents' policy! Clearly promotes alcoholism!

Steve Wrigley, UGA's senior vice president for external affairs, said he learned of the wine when the UGA Foundation, the fund-raising arm of the school, received a check from Georgia Crown for royalties from sales of the wine.

Wrigley said he could not recall the amount of the check, but he remembers his response: "We can't take it," he said. "It's not an authorized product at this point."

He said UGA returned the check to Georgia Crown.

Way to help meet that private giving benchmark, y'all...

6) So shocked. A private company futzing things to help line its own pockets? Never seen/suspected that one before. Gotta love this bit:

"All public comments, to be honest, are a little jaded," Doss said, explaining there is no way to verify the source of every public comment received. "The fact that (the petition) was orchestrated by the Parkway Group doesn't invalidate it. The department will take into account all those factors, (such as) who is behind it and what the motive was."

Doss being your transportation board chairman, of course.

7) Why UGA doesn't have many rural students: "Del Dunn, vice president of Instruction, said enrollment from rural counties is low because the college-bound population in those counties is low." Ah. Not complicated.

8) Mr. Winders, we do not get Columbus Day off.

9) David Lynn prescient again. No cruising tickets issued. No desire for "unattractive signage." But we do have an update on the cameras. Would that the same attitude could prevail there.

10) Thompson further explains his editorial on the Leebern/Yoculan thing. No conspiracy at the paper to get Michael Adams fired. Unfortunately. My problem with it wasn't that, but rather that I thought the comparison drawn with Braswell's situation really off and that the fault seemed a bit more on Leebern's side than Yoculan's in terms of impropriety. i.e., who's worse, a boss screwing his secretary or a secretary screwing her boss? This letter in particular represents the point of view I felt could be reinforced by such an editorial.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Blowin' Up

My boy Terrence Dashon Howard is about to be, according to Defamer. I'm just lettin' y'all know now, I saw it coming most esp in The Best Man, where he was both shmooth and multi-layered in his performance. Fella has been a star just waiting to happen for years now.

God help me

What there needs to be is a word for when you really, really don't want to like someone, and yet you can't help it. John Mayer is a great example of this. I think he's a wussbag and then some, but his appearance on Chappelle's Show was all right. And then, I sort of like that new song. And whenever he makes a talk show appearance, he seems like an engaging, down-to-earth guy. His appearance at the top of this week's Gawker Stalker is the last straw:

Saw John Mayer on Saturday 1/19 in NBC preparing for the Tsunami Aid show. When I walked by his dressing room, he fanned the air with the door, wafting out the smell of “high school farts.” After seeing my jar ajaw (“That’s gross, but God are those lips purty!”), he apologized for making such an offensive statement. And three nights later, I held the door for him at Starbucks on W49th Street, only to once again stare at those puckered smackers in awe.

How is this cool in any way? It's not. And hence, the like.

Em. Eff.

I hate you, Haloscan. I really hate you.

One fewer

Piece of ammo when playing "I have never." I have now been to a college basketball game, and it was worth the slightly lowered chances of winning, especially as it could very well be Georgia's only conference win this year. It's also the first time I've ever been in the Coliseum for a sporting event (rather than a concert or speech I had to work), and though the crowd wasn't big, I could at least imagine what it would sound like if it were. Basketball is also, oddly, easier to follow in person than on TV, and even more so when you're seated way the eff up at the top--though, from what J tells me, even sitting at the very top of the Coliseum is not that far up compared to pro arenas. I like the spectacle of it, though, with both cheerleaders (B team) and dancers, both Hairy Dawg and Spike present, and when they turn off the lights and get the disco ball going while the national anthem is sung? Rock! I said it was like a big prom. And I still think they should keep it that way while the game's going on.

Movie Diary

1) Jackass: The Movie: Prompted by the evaluation of my humor personality type below. Am sort of surprised that I hadn't gotten around to seeing it earlier, but indeed laughed myself silly. Not at everything, of course. There are times when I think, "I really didn't need to see that," but on the whole, as much of a good time as the show, esp bits with Steve-O and Chris Pontius, who both seem to have this cheery joy in life, even while inserting bottle rockets in inappropriate places and the like. Am particularly fond of "Party Boy." Ooh, and you get to see what a professional Lance Bangs is, as he manages to film himself in the act of vomiting.

2) Cujo: I'm going to guess that this was the best Stephen King movie I hadn't seen. Lord knows what fills that slot now. Firestarter? Anyway, quite genuinely scary and well directed (having seen Cat's Eye recently, Lewis Teague's tracking shots across the ground are very familiar). It feels very real, and it awakens this creepy feeling in one that must be parental, a real protectiveness and the sense that, if one's child were menaced by such an animal, one really might be murderous.

3) The Last of Sheila: A recommendation from Amazon, most likely because I told it I had/liked both Sleuth and Deathtrap, both mystery-based flicks from around the same era, and the recommendation was a fairly accurate one, though it's not as good as the other two movies. Co-written by Anthony Perkins (yes, the Anthony Perkins) and Stephen Sondheim. A little needlessly convoluted, but with good performances particularly from Richard Benjamin and Dyan Cannon, the latter of whom I've realized I really like quite a lot.

4) Black Sunday (1977): You know, for a movie about a terrorist attack that could kill all 80,000 people in attendance at the Superbowl, this does move kind of slowly. Okay, plenty slowly. Which took some getting used to. It's not a bad thing; it's just that I was expecting more running around and less planning. The other thing about it that's interesting is how Frankenheimer really puts you on the side of the bad guys, from the very beginning. Is it because you like Bruce Dern that you want to see him succeed in his evil plan? Or is it merely the desire to see it in action, the same way you'd be really disappointed if nothing got nuked in The Sum of All Fears?

5) Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea: A double-feature disc with the following and, therefore, not rented for itself but merely a nice bonus. It's cute and silly, with not one but two giant cephalopods, Barbara Eden running around (a lot) in high heels and a very tight uniform, a title tune sung by Frankie Avalon (who also appears in the movie), continual news reports of the entire planet going up in flames and incredibly dubious science, fat old Peter Lorre, and a very unexpected choice of villain. And then it just ends, which is also true of...

6) Fantastic Voyage: Neither J nor I had seen this since we were little kids, and we both wanted to rewatch it. Whatever I did remember, I remembered only from the ride at Epcot, but I was definitely impressed with it. The title sequence alone would have been enough to achieve that effect, but really the whole thing is just neat to watch, regardless of accuracy or intended seriousness. It's frequently lovely and a bit dreamy, more about the journey than the destination, as proved by that extremely abrupt ending.

Note

Posts will be delayed monday a.m. by me not being around then. Get your fix elsewhere. It most likely does not mean I've been hit by a bus. Knock wood.

Ain't nothin' bad-ass like a [bleep]

So, Chris Rock gets interviewed in the NYT re: Oscar hostage. And, because he's, you know, Chris Rock, he says some more interesting things than previous hosts have. Like that if Jamie Foxx doesn't win an Oscar, he's gonna take one away from someone else and give it to him.

And so Erik Lundegaard is huffy. That darn Chris Rock, being funny in an interview and expressing himself. How dare he have an opinion about anything. He's certainly not qualified, having been in some crappy movies himself. And his affirmative action argument? Dude... that's some shaky ground.

[via]

The hotness

  This being something that is being sold on the staff listserv.

1) I like that the name of the file is "comero one."

2) I am also fond of the style, which looks Polaroid-esque, making one wonder if it was taken long ago, when the car was young and frisky.

3) It's just a cool-ass car.

Quizzy

Via Chip, this 20 questions quiz on categorizing your sense of humor.

I turn out suchlike:

Sunny/Dark: 8/10
drY/Gross: 5/10
Traditional/Offbeat: 5/10
Active/Passive: 6/10

You are a DGT--Dark Gross Traditional. This makes you a Prankster.

Comedy for you is when a person is kept in the most discomfort for the longest period of time. This means practical jokes, pranks, and sticking a hair up a sleeping person's nose so he slaps himself awake.

You are probably locked in some terrifying practical joke one-ups-manship with a like-minded soul. You are also probably a dude.

You are able to acknowledge that Dumb and Dumber was a good movie, and that makes you a good person.

You might like Meet the Parents, Punk'd, and that part in Bruce Campbell's If Chins Could Kill where he convinces a friend that his car has been shoved off a cliff. I'm not describing this adequately. You got to read it.

Of the 5541 people who have taken this quiz, 13.9 % are this type.

Your Active humor score of 6/10 means you are ju-u-ust right. You're probably pretty popular -- a walking social lubricant. You know how to take someone from on edge to relaxed, and from relaxed to larfing. You're kind of like an episode of Arrested Development. That show is good. Anyway. Rave on, funny one.

Some of which is accurate (the stuff about being amused by discomfort) and some of which less so (me being a walking social lubricant). I'm much more likely to laugh at a prank than pull one myself. But I like the category stuff. And it's an interesting alternative to Myers-Briggs.

Hobbyhorse

1) 316 toll decision postponed 60 more days because of outcry. You know, it's not like people are going to be less pissed about/opposed to it in two months. Governor wants more facts, but none of us will get anything more definite about what the toll will be. ABH editorial a) is annoyed with stop-and-go of all this, and b) points out that the main concern should not be traffic congestion, but safety. True dat. SGA, of course, thinks the delay is a wise move, mentions possibility of student discounts. Also, faculty, staff, administration. Screw the rest of you.

2) Angry letter re: tuition raises.

I don't mean to point fingers or make personal attacks, but is there evidence of fiscal responsibility? Have other budget cuts been considered?"

Oh no you dih-unt, Meredith. Amount of tuition increase not determined yet, as budget hasn't actually passed.

3) Wait a minnit, state employees? Getting mentioned in connection with the pay raise? Yes. And it will be mostly or entirely absorbed by the increase in health insurance premiums for many of us.

4) Recovered, as you no doubt know. Great photo. "Coincidentally," the people on whose lawn it was left are parents-in-law to Brian Kemp, who both helped install it originally and, also "coincidentally" (?) was in town this weekend. Or maybe it's some kind of legislature prank.

5) Grade quotas being discussed. Concludes with, "If Franklin senators decide to discuss grade inflation solutions at their next meeting, they should keep in mind that courses can be made more challenging without limiting students' successes." Dude, don't take away our A's. We can just say it's harder.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Viddy

So, MJ himself won't be making a comeback any time soon, not until the trial's over at any rate, but his style most certainly is. Usher's video for "Caught Up" (viewable here at MTV's site; sorry, Mac people, can't find it in Quicktime) is making a serious case that it's not idle talk to refer to him as the new Jackson.

1) The song is totally catchy. It's not "Yeah," but it's got a rolling little beat behind it.

2) The man's wearing gloves. Two of them, admittedly, but they are leather, and you can see the seam detailing.

3) Fedora tipping and group dance sequences are very reminiscent of "Smooth Criminal," without being so obvious as to include the 45-degree leans. Toward the end, when they're on stage, there are some arm movements that cross the body that are very Jackson indeed.

4) The dance-fight midway through is both West Side Story and its child, "Beat It," being very stylized and moving nicely to the music. And also cute and unscary.

Why so quiet?

Re Stylus's Top 50 Albums 2000-2004, as compared to the singles list? Eh... I only have five of these albums anyway. And they're not a particularly exciting five. That is, I like them all quite a bit, but they're not shocking to find in my CD collection. How fast can y'all guess?

Eats

Y'all, the $20 prix-fixe thing at Five & Ten is even more worth it that I would've thought, being that they are not tiny little courses.

Menu #1:
--P.E.I. mussels (couldn't figure out what all was in the broth, but maybe a bit of lemongrass and definitely red pepper; was originally going to be a salad, but looks like Hugh changed it by opening night)
--rosemary pappardelle with duck confit sugo, roasted tomatoes, fresh basil, arugula (this was very delicate; J thought it was a bit too subtle; the pasta had a beautiful bite to it)
--sticky date pudding with bourbon rum raisin ice cream and toffee sauce (really didn't place this as my kind of meal finisher at all, but it was dark and spicy and complex and just thoroughly exciting)

Menu #2:
--white bean and fennel soup with proscuitto, roasted tomatoes, parmesan (and a large bowl of it, too; hearty peasant food)
--crisp North Carolina trout with warm bacon vinaigrette, fennel slaw, crisp spaeztle, braised nappa cabbage (Lordy. So, it's easy to make a dish with a bacon vinaigrette and have it be delish, but still. It was very much so, and the piece of fish itself was steely and firm-fleshed. Great crust on it.)
--traditional crème brulee with cookies (by this point, a really played-out dessert, but there's something about the holding back that made it nice to revisit; i.e., it wasn't lavender-infused or anything else hip and happening)

Bleaaargh

Want to vomit in horror and rage, especially if you are a) a single person or b) just terminally opposed to this sort of thing? I give you: the smitten mitten. Ms. E.B. Browning is surely spinning like a top in her grave.

Happy grease coma

Produced by this place, which will hit the next column with big thumbs up. Anyone looking for more good soul food will be transported by the green beans, which might be the best I've ever had.

Hobbyhorse

1) Waaa! Waaa! People from our towns are too dumb to get into UGA, so why should we fund it? We hate having a flagship state university. My dog should be able to get in if I want. If you assess the measures UGA has taken for this, they're not bad. In fact, they're better than other diversity measures.

2) Tuition will still go up, even with the gov increasing UGA's money. Why? Because the increase in money only covers the standard amount by which funding should increase when enrollment goes up. It's not any more per student, and it doesn't really put anything back into the budget.

Speaking to a joint appropriations committee meeting, Meredith said Perdue's recommendation to provide full funding to cover new enrollment would allow the state's colleges to pay for their "bread and butter."

3) Hmm. Okay. So one of the three Regents whose terms have expired is Leebern, which I didn't realize the other day. That might at least partially explain the delay. There's also this:

Leebern was the chairman of the search committee that chose Michael Adams to be UGA president in 1997.

R&B is now calling for his ouster.

4) Crowley argues for the 316 project with tolls, saying that if we don't go private, it'll take 20 years instead of 5. But, again, lots of iffy wording:

The corridor may well be one of Georgia's most outstanding economic development opportunities if it, along with rail and airport improvements, are comprehensively implemented. I-85 and Ga. 316, the proposed commuter rail line between Athens and Atlanta, and airports (Hartsfield-Jackson, Peachtree-DeKalb, Gwinnett County's Briscoe Field, Winder-Barrow and Athens-Ben Epps) can diversely serve a potential "research corridor" that directly connects The University of Georgia, Emory and The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Georgia Tech, Georgia State, the Atlanta University Center and Clayton State. Surely this is a critical mass of academic and research assets to attract significant research development, along a corridor not controlled by any institution but, instead, shared by all of them.

The vote's today.

5) Someone stole Scott Sosebee's bulldog. Shocking that it took this long to happen.

6) Wait, you can't order alcohol in the sidewalk cafe section of a restaurant in Athens? But you can take your beer out there if you're at a bar?

7) Perdue proposes hard-time, death penalty for spammers.

8) Bill proposing 8 hours off from work to spend at kids' school gets the take down from the ABH.

9) Wait, Republicans are like African Americans? News to them, I'm sure.

10) One interesting reason Wehunt left: "a nonexistence of team spirituality." Hum.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC; bugmenot MT; bugmenot SMN]

Quibble

Okay, so this article in Salon about copy-editing letters to sex mags is mildly entertaining, esp in its discussion of details (doggie-style is consistently hyphenated, for example), but on page 2, we come to this:

Another benefit was that my computer was developing street smarts. I had loaded into its spell-checker all manner of esoterica such as "suckfest" and "cockhead," which it thereafter allowed without so much as a red flag. And I myself was becoming proficient in certain arcane areas of copy editing that otherwise might have escaped my expertise, such as the difference between "lie" and "lay." Thus, the buxom blonde lies spread-eagled, but the muscle-bound black lay down in the leaves.

Arcane? Arcane? Try proper fucking English. And this, slightly more complicated, on page 3:

"It's close-trimmed pussy, Daniel. With a hyphen! Whenever you have two adjectives describing something, you have to hyphenate."

Well... not whenever. If it were a "closely trimmed pussy," you absolutely wouldn't. Salon, Salon, Salon. This is quite symptomatic of your magazine. All action. No detail work.

Later: Jared points out that, instead of using a more complex example with an adjectivally used adverb, I might've mentioned that if you're talking about "big green trees," you totally wouldn't put a hyphen there. He is, of course, right.

Mmm... candid Rice

So, there's this, in which she totally promised (stick a needle, yadda yadda). But it only makes me think the Senate Democrats should have familiarized themselves with this popular logic puzzle. On the other hand, who can tell me why it wouldn't work?

Everything Idol

So, Gardner's running his round 2, including the loser's brackets for various categories, and rather than clogging his comments section, I'm linking to the literature one here and commenting that I talked about this with J, too, presenting him with the three choices that had a chance of getting my vote: Infinite Jest, Ulysses, & Paradise Lost. But he hesitated about as much as I did, which is to say, hardly at all, before confirming that Milton's magnificent octopus takes the frigging cake in a landslide (to mixmaster a metaphor). That is, we even discussed if there's anything it couldn't beat, and so far, the answer is no, as long as you're restricting it to individual works (i.e., not the complete works of Shakespeare). Voters, Romans, countrymen, tear the scales from your eyes and realize that PL is probably the greatest single work of literature ever created, and I do not hyperbolically exaggerate in the slightest in saying this.

Teh hotness

Brian Jordan will have a tomahawk across his chest again. I mean, it must be admitted to begin with that the man fills out a uniform very nicely. Plus provided my number-one baseball moment ever. And it seems we're only paying him $600K for the year, which means left field + right field = $1.6 mill. The AJC notes that in 2003, Jordan and Mondesi made a combined $22.6 mill. Last year, we paid Drew $4.2 mill. Thomas presumably made the minimum $200K, and Marrero's official salary was $7 mill. I'd say we've done a good job of filling holes and cutting costs. Will Jordan be healthy throughout the season? Probably not, but at under a million bucks, he doesn't have to be.

TAR-rawr

CBS, I know before, when it came on once a year, if that, in the summer, at bizarre times and on useless days, you were kind of trying to kill my show. But are you still doing so, in the opposite way?

J: "This show must be entirely too easy to make."

That followed on me informing him that season 7 would follow season 6 by a mere two weeks. Not even to mention the appearance of the dreaded Rahmber as a team. Don't Millionaire it, guys.

So, burn me at the stake already

I'm with eppy on this one. Here's the reference if you haven't been emailed this 20 times already by your lefty friends. Y'all, for one thing, I'm going out to lunch today. It's my job, and having class around lunchtime three days a week now kind of limits my possibilities. For another thing, I'll be damned if I spend my afternoon without some sort of caffeinated carbonated beverage. Are you trying to provoke me into a cranky-based revolution? Is that the real point here? I already don't spend much and certainly not conspicuously, nor do I see how it affects El Presidente in any way. If anything, what you're doing is depriving your local/state government of the funds it probably so badly needs and that it receives from sales tax. Athenians, don't you care about SPLOST?

Panty-watch

2) A big bang introduced four women in red jumpers, hands at the crotch and rocking and kicking to heavy-metal percussion. Raising their skirts, some put their hands into their ruffled panties -- to take out a pair of shoes. [from a dance review of the Japanese Contemporary Dance Showcase, by Anna Kisselgoff, 01/10/05; the piece is called "Touch" and is "an explosion of rage related to what the background program material calls the frustration of Japanese women and the tension between 'internal (me) and the external (not me).'"]

3) "The man onstage wasn't wearing a bra and panties underneath a sheer shift, with his bald head painted white. He hadn't had his eyelashes blued (on the right) and yellowed (on the left), with three thin, drawn-on eyebrows scattered around his face. In fact, he barely resembled the extraordinary creature who appears in photographs that accompany his two extraordinary albums." [from a live music review of Antony and the Johnsons, by Kelefa Sanneh, 01/11/05; referenced CD cover is on this page]

[Previously.]

Okay, the Charger thing we get...

But This + this = this?

Inspired by a certain hip, hot artist, formula 50 brings a serious entourage of vitamins...

Hobbyhorse

1) Georgia's public universities kind of suck, when measured by six-year graduation rates. But the objection that's raised by Georgia officials is weird:

Georgia officials say the numbers are misleading because they don't reflect tougher college admissions criteria phased in between 1998 and 2001. The criteria increased minimum SAT scores for admission to most Georgia schools and required students to take more college preparatory courses in high school. Students who graduated in 2003 after six years would not have had to meet the heightened standards.

But, huh? They still graduated, right? This doesn't have much to do with heightened standards because these students didn't have to meet them. I think it's a slightly misleading measurement. They could have complained about that.

2) ABH editorial about differing treatment of Marilou Braswell and Suzanne Yoculan thinks the latter's offense was worse. Okay, so Yoculan's open affair with a married man who happens to be a Regent is lurid, but it really doesn't seem relevant at all in this situation:

But the relationship ought to have been a problem for athletics officials well prior to the sanctions. What does it say to boosters, to prospective student-athletes and to the community at large about the character of UGA athletics that Yoculan's relationship with Leebern goes on unremarked and unchallenged?

Now, if only gymnasts who were having affairs with Regents got to go on the trip, it'd be a fair point of comparison, but we haven't learned anything like that yet. Whether or not he's abusing his position as a Regent is one question. Whether or not she should be fired for her sex life is another one entirely. R&B covers the story from a factual standpoint and provides their own editorial, which boils down to: shouldn't we be being a bit more careful by this point?

3) Atlanta Gas Light wants to raise base charges. It don't matter which gas company you picked; you're gonna have to pay it. Admittedly, they haven't asked for an increase in a long time, but sentences like this don't make one feel warmly toward this one:

Sitherwood said company revenue growth also has been dropping in part from the loss of customers because of higher gas prices.

Oh, I see. When your product's considered too expensive already, the best thing to do is jack it up even more.

4) SGA wants students to speak out re 316 tolls. Tries yet again to prove relevance of self.

5) Athletics to build $30 million practice gym, upgrade scoreboards in Sanford and elsewhere. R&B also runs snark on the same matter. But I'm not worried that the Athletic Association will be able to raise the cash they need through private giving. It doesn't look particularly good, but athletics really do operate as a pretty separate area from the rest of the university.

6) More letters on the buses, explaining that transit is a separate part of the budget and, as such, has a certain amount it gets to spend.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

Police Blotter (the lo-tech)

Only one real item from the Oconee Blotter this week, and it's a testament to the simplicity of some crimes:

Theft: On Jan. 11, security at Wal-Mart contacted deputies about a theft caught on video tape. Two men were seen around a cash register that was not being attended by a clerk. They held a piece of cardboard to block the view of the camera and they apparently removed $550 cash and two checks. It is believed the men had access to a key to open the register.

Spraypaint? Shaving cream? Nuh-uh. Those would require taking the lid off a can and shaking it up. [rest here]

The real action has been over in the ACC Blotter of late, with the human/dog/deer heart found behind someone's home, the headless goat in a cemetery in Winterville, and this dude who was shot in the arm but refused to talk:

According to police reports, the victim responded to the question of what happened and who was responsible by saying, "I am going to kill him. That is all I have to say about it."

[bugmenot]

You know, "infamous," like Hilary Duff

F-Pole's little guest-written (?) piece on the skate park in the city pages (it's the second one down) concludes like this:

If you see those guys around downtown (I hear they favor Room 13), buy them a drink. Buy them dinner (or lunch or breakfast). They are providing Athens with yet another reason for being on the map and have more than earned our collective appreciation. Give them some of that infamous hospitality, Southern-style.

So, is "buy them a drink" code for "slip them a mickey and sell them into prostitution in Mexico"? I heard this rumor there are editors who work there, but maybe it's not true.

Link note

Have added Mr. Sun to the sidebar for your linky reading pleasure, and must point out that today's post on the pitfalls of family board games is a particular winner. Oh, the heartbreak of the Yahtzee Romantic...

Movie Diary (short & immature)

Rewatched Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, which we're now the proud owners of a copy of, thanks to one Mr. Ziegler, and I think it holds up. It's not the best in the series (that's 2, but I haven't seen it more than once), but on its own terms, as a 3-D flick, it's way above its competition, and the 3-D-ness translates very well at home, if you follow the set-up instructions, which involve futzing with the color on the TV. Anyway, the video game setting is appropriate and makes for some cool action set pieces, and there are some really amusing throwaway jokes (e.g., "knows karate"). It's wrapped up really quickly and not that carefully, but, eh, I don't care. Plus: nice messages about a) family and b) revenge, making it a good (though unintentional) conclusion to Team Brown's mini-revenge-fest.

TAR-love

At last, our long national nightmare is over. Yes, I expressed amusement and even, early on, fascination, but there is only so much a body can take. It was commented that there could definitely have been air quotes around the "sorry" of "I'm sorry to tell you."

I'm also thinking Lori and Bolo have solidified their position as my team, though the "why" of that is something even I don't know.

Oh, and Kendra seems to have learned a lesson. Yay!

Including dancing showgirls and comedic stage hands

I could have sworn I'd mentioned Van Heineken on here before, since they were playing as we walked out of the post-season Braves game. But Blogger's search doesn't seem to be able to find it. Anyway. They're playing the Georgia Theater Feb. 2, and I'll be damned if their press copy isn't a work of art. Set up in frames, so cut and pasted here for your enjoyment:

Van Heineken is a group of performers dedicated to keeping the magic of classic David Lee Roth Era Van Halen alive, by recreating Van Halen’s infamous live shows with the fun and festive fervor that helped establish the band as a legendary arena rock act.
The Van Heineken experience is more than a rock concert -- complete with authentic costumes and trademark stage antics, Van Heineken is a stage show with a supporting cast of characters including dancing showgirls and comedic stage hands.

From the driving guitar of radio staples like “ Panama” and “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” to fan favorites like “Unchained” and “ Mean Street ,” Van Heineken creates the soundtrack to a rock ‘n’ roll spectacle that you’ll never forget.

Joining Van Heineken will be the heaviest rockers south of the Mason/Dixon line, Gargantua. Gargantua dubs its sound as "Southern Viking metal." This four-piece blasts the masses with sheer vengeance, mixing '70s arena rock pageantry, punk rock abandonment and pop sensibilities. Its debut release "Voyage to the Bottom of Laguna Negra" has received critical acclaim with such crowd-pleasers as "South of Valhalla," "Animal" and "Get it On."

Stand-up comedian and actor Aaron Beelner opens the evening with his One-Man Comedy Show. Beelner, who stands four-foot three-inches tall, explores life as a dwarf with a series of laugh-out-loud skits and observations. What happens when he goes on a blind date and can't reach the doorbell? Find out this and more as the small-statured Beelner delivers big laughs.

Um... If this weren't a Wednesday, it might be a must.

Confirmed!

Jane Kidd has a daughter so hot/beautiful that she can make one believe in God. That's the word on the street. And though I make slight light, I do get what the source was saying, which is that, if one's gonna go that route and do the believing thing, there is plenty of evidence not only in the glory of nature but in the human form, and at a little more pedestrian level than Angelina Jolie at that.

Illustration: Collier Schorr's photos of wrestlers, as seen in the Art 21 thing mentioned a few days ago. Here. Here. Here.

Hobbyhorse

1) ABH editorial on Adams's speech and specifically addressing, toward the end, the effect that raising academic standards at UGA could have on K-12 education in the state. Could be a bit clearer though. Mentions that current discussion is focused on funding, and then says a serious discussion could ensue if people discovered their kids weren't being adequately prepared for university studies. Does that mean a discussion focused on funding isn't serious? Or just that not enough people are engaged in it. And then there's this paragraph:

While there has been some talk of establishing a statewide sales tax to address that inequity, it's hard to imagine voters in well-funded systems voluntarily paying taxes to bolster less-well-off systems.

To which I say, the voluntariness isn't the point. It wouldn't be voluntary at all, unless people decided to revert to barter for the most part. The point is that it wouldn't at all result in a great wealth transfer from rich to poor. Sales taxes are regressive. Write it on the board a hundred times.

2) More on the Regents' plan to increase the number of teachers, this being revealing:

"We prepare excellent teachers in Georgia," [Jan Kettlewell, the state's associate vice chancellor for academic affairs] told the regents at their January meeting last week, "but it doesn't do us any good if we don't prepare enough teachers."

I hear monkeys are quite a bargain these days. That is, I see her point, but a balance of excellence and numbers would be nice.

3) Grad students seeking health insurance again. Right or not, it's not going to happen any time soon.

4) Outrage! Over fancy new buses. But good luck persuading people to walk. Yes, they're kind of excessively snazzy, but I'm sure Adrian can tell us something about why they were necessary, right?

5) Q&A with Mark Taylor in the AJC, in which he talks about his priorities for the next year re education. And I quote, "It is absolutely critical we're not talking about any new money. . . . The money is already being appropriated but it is not being spent for the purpose which it was appropriated." Arr.

6) Some Athenians hate all those damn Spanish channels. And the MTV.

7) There is a bar, and I shit you not, in Banks Crossing, called Goodfellers. Its clientele look rather like you'd think they would.

8) Yet another story on potentially reorganizing the commission, despite the fact that it looks like only McCarter and Jordan want to do it.

9) Presumably this photo was taken either after 11 p.m. or out of doors...

10) ABH says DOT should approve agreement with Parkway Grp re: 316 renovation, but fix details later. Might as in, "the nearly $5 one-way toll for traversing the route might be subject to some change," is not really good enough for most people in this situation. On the other hand, the paper is sure to have letters to print for weeks about such, which is necessary.

11) Student to battle for title of 'Ultimate Fighter.' !!! He is also, apparently, "good people."

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

Fine stuff

That's what I'd say the NFL playoff games this weekend were, despite the Colts frustrating manhandling by the Pats (Note: Peyton Manning's accent is hypnotic to the point where I think I'm actually starting to like the guy rather than just appreciate his talent). They were good enough that my little sister called me to rave about how awesome the Falcons were. Which was true, but only for that particular period of time the game was going on. Would that it continues to be the case through this next weekend because a Falcons-Steelers Superbowl would make the entire Lauterbach/Brown clan pretty happy. They were good enough to provoke me into waking my poor, napping husband by yelling at the TV on that "fumble" call in the first-mentioned game. They were good enough to have some fabulous ads, first and foremost the one making use of Fountains of Wayne's "All Kinds of Time," which was gorgeous. And to contain numerous impressive sartorial statements, including Freddie Mitchell (oh, he of the possibly best TD celebration of the year), yes, but also Hines Ward, who continues to be such a fine-looking man that he can even pull off the giant diamond studs--the current theory is that he must have exceptionally large earlobes to do so. In short, I did not really miss baseball or college football this past weekend, and it's always nice when you forget about that little temporary hole in your heart.

Simple economics

J just forwarded me the American Family Association's latest "Action Alert," and it's a matter of some interest (though why he's on the mailing list escapes me; newspaper thing? spam?). So. They're obsessed with this Movie Gallery store (or, rather, chain), which rents porn out of a back room, while charging less than a dollar for other rentals. Call it the Video Library model of business, if you will. And now, after Blockbuster nearly bought Hollywood Video, the latter has merged with Movie Gallery, which is the content of the alert, i.e., there is PORN coming to your small town! Take action! Headline actually reads: "AFA says Movie Gallery plans to invade small town America with porn" (in boldface). So, the question has been: How can Hollywood Video continue to compete with Blockbuster? This is merely the answer.

Movie Diary (silent but deadly edition)

1) Thriller: A Cruel Picture (aka They Call Her One Eye, aka Hooker's Revenge): A favorite and inspiration of Tarantino's (cf. the heroine's outfit-coordinated eye patch) and an early (and Swedish) entry in the female revenge drama genre. Only this one has, um, hard-core pornography in the middle of it, which I'd have to think Borders is unaware of, otherwise it probably wouldn't be down in the "cult" section, where kids can reach it. Howevs. It's very justified. No, really. It is. I mean, if you're gonna go down this road, you might as well go the fuck down it, and it's nicely edited back and forth between her violation and her training in martial arts, motorsports, and firearms. So it's just very accomplished in general and I'm surprised it hasn't been ripped off more, especially the extreme slo-mo fight device, which leads to gorgeous gouts of blood floating in the air for a long time, and (which always makes stuff like this easier to take) it looks very good, has been well restored, etc., but also done with nice color to begin with.

2) Dogville: Dude. I went into this fully expecting disappointment and irritation and so on, since a) it received a very mixed critical reaction and b) among those I know, an extremely negative one for the most part. And I loved it. For one thing, it made an interesting trilogy with Man on Fire and Thriller--Team Brown's revenge flick weekend or something. Von Trier can be a frustrating bastard, but when he gives you a payoff, he does it beautifully, and I was just very impressed throughout. And I don't mean that last bit to sound like I didn't enjoy it, because I certainly did. It's not un-entertaining, and it's even funny. Why didn't anyone tell me it was funny? Must say that all the really negative reactions seem to read the film in an incredibly reductive way, which I don't think is appropriate at all, i.e., what has Von Trier ever done to make people think he wants to represent anything in black and white?

1) Hello to you, too, Village Voice music page.

2) Obvs will be out Monday, not rocking the day of service thing, but more likely doing freelance proofing and watching the MTV.

Here's a pomegranate. Here's a zucchini.

And this is as much a battle as, I dunno, the Glorious Revolution. [via]

Rundown

Since it's provoking so much discussion, I may as well make a shorter list of the entire 50 Stylus songs on the list here and provide comments on a few.

50. Vybz Kartel, "Sweet to the Belly"
49. Panjabi MC feat. Jay-Z, "Beware of the Boys"
48. Johnny Cash, "Hurt" (huge fan of this one and pleased it made the list)
47. Phoenix, "If I Ever Feel Better"
46. Basement Jaxx, "Romeo" (would have gone with something off "Kish Kash" instead)
45. Dizzee Rascal, "Fix Up, Look Sharp"
44. Fischerspooner, "Emerge" (meh)
43. The Walkmen, "The Rat"
42. Eminem, "The Real Slim Shady" (this now feels like a million years ago)
41. M.I.A., "Galang" (I like it, but it doesn't whomp me)
40. Jay-Z, "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" (qualifies on the basis of it passing the awesome car listening test)
39. Matthew Dear, "Dog Days" (this I don't even know)
38. The Strokes, "Last Nite" (how many times did I hear this come on in Vision Video? and yet I still sing along, just quietly)
37. The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army" (preferred to "FILWAG")
36. Freelance Hellraiser, "A Stroke of Genius" (SFJ breaks this down very nicely in the New Yorker)
35. t.A.T.u., "All the Things She Said" (ooh! I love t.A.T.u.)
34. Jay-Z, "99 Problems" (and I like this very much, too, though its making the singles list may have more than a little to do with the video)
33. Franz Ferdinand, "Take Me Out" (soon to judge, but ubiquitous enough)
32. Annie, "Heartbeat" (my favorite of the three I've heard by her)
31. TV on the Radio, "Young Liars EP" (I think they're boring)
30. Aaliyah, "We Need a Resolution" (ain't coming to me)
29. Girls Aloud, "Sound of the Underground" (I prefer "Love Machine")
28. Jay-Z, "Big Pimpin'" (Would probably swap this with "Izzo")
27. Lil Jon et al, "Get Low"
26. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Maps" (grew on me like crazy)
25. The White Stripes, "Fell in Love with a Girl" (much too high)
24. Usher et al, "Yeah!" (pretty much the song of '04)
23. Eminem, "Lose Yourself" (I suppose I prefer him slightly poppier than this, but I still like the song)
22. Jurgen Paape, "So Weit Wie Noch Nie" (don't know it)
21. LCD Soundsystem, "Yeah" (just doesn't do it for me, though I've tried)
20. 50 Cent, "In Da Club" (I wouldn't put it this high, but I don't object to it ending up here)
19. Aaliyah, "Try Again" (again, should be more familiar with her stuff)
18. Basement Jaxx, "Where's Your Head At?" (two is too many for them)
17. Clipse, "Grindin'" (great beat, song less good)
16. Beyonce feat. Jay-Z, "Crazy in Love" (absolutely belongs)
15. Daft Punk, "Digital Love" (can't say if it belongs, but I like it)
14. Britney, "Toxic" (should maybe even be higher than this)
13. Kelis, "Milkshake" (again, a big fan)
12. Missy Elliott, "Work It" (ditto)
11. !!!, "Me and Giuliani..." (not clicking)
10. Outkast, "Ms. Jackson" (I guess if you're gonna go with two Outkast songs, you pick this and "Hey Ya" rather than "Hey Ya" and "BOB," to diversify a little, soundwise)
9. Justin Timberlake, "Cry Me a River" (nodding in agreement)
8. LCD Soundsystem, "Losing My Edge" (see earlier comment)
7. Kylie, "Can't Get You Out of My Head" (see, one problem with this list is that it's very Euro/Britty; this song probably still deserves to make the list because of widespread appeal, but there's no denying it--and a lot of others--were way bigger over there)
6. Missy, "Get UR Freak On" (by this point, one does start to get annoyed with duplications; again, it's a fine song, but I'd pick "Work It" if I had to go with one)
5. Dizzee Rascal, "I Luv U" (way too high, but good)
4. The Rapture, "House of Jealous Lovers" (I'm still not a fan, but this song has very, very slowly started to work its way into not-hatred)
3. Outkast, "Hey Ya"
2. Outkast, "B.O.B." (they're probably equally good songs, but you heard the first one first, so the second one couldn't hit you quite as hard, I think)
1. R. Kelly, "Ignition (Remix)" (I can't say anything bad about this song, and I've already expressed that I think it was the right choice.)

Hobbyhorse

1) State of the University address given. Big ups to increasing academic rigor, private giving, and tuition. My current favorite part?

The university's high rankings on The Princeton Review's party schools list and the list of schools where students "almost never study" is also troubling, he said, as is the recent incident when a Lambda Chi member was seriously burned during a ceremony at the fraternity house.

The incident is a concern not just because a student was burned, he said, "but also because some group had nothing academically pressing enough to do at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday morning to prohibit them from conducting a non-academic ceremony and playing drinking games."

It, um, also doesn't say that much about the smarts of the people we let in. SGA President Sparks said that "The number of students who purposely take 'easy' courses is rapidly decreasing," but he must not have been eavesdropping on the campus buses lately (some military science course in particular has a rep for pulling your GPA up, even if it's rumored that's the one where you have to rapel down the side of the building). Full text here, in which Adams thanks employees for working harder and longer and says he regrets the situation very much. He pledges that half of any tuition increase will be devoted to putting more faculty into undergrad classrooms (sort of strange phrasing; could mean he'll buy them Segways), challenges them to talk to General Assembly, defend selves as valuable, even though that's sort of his job. Staff? Not mentioned. No mention of diversity as something to work on, esp specifically through admissions considering race.

2) Best timing ever?

3) Lottery sales down, proposed HOPE cuts likely. Already planned for last year. Note again that any consideration of students' families' income is not on the table. Whether you're a millionaire or working three jobs, your book check's getting cut in half either way.

4) Jane Kidd's just moved to the top of the list of our favorite representatives, all for this simple statement:

"As far as pay raises for teachers and state employees, I'm glad something is being done, but it doesn't make up for the cuts last year," she said.

Partly for the sentiment, which is necessary in an environment where some ([cough]Kemp[/cough]) are practically kissing the gov's feet for presenting a budget in which the state meets (not exceeds) its obligations to increase education funding by a set amount as pupils increase in number, and partly, of course, for the few words acknowledging that there are other people in the world than teachers. Kemp hints at things to come wrt budget, noting that it ain't passed yet. He means to put a positive spin on things, but just because Sonny's guys are filling the legislature doesn't mean they'll do everything he wants.

5) UGA making a good effort wrt recruitment visit restrictions and anticipated them a bit.

6) Kemp in favor of pre-pre-K education. Has bill. This is nice, actually, but would that he'd do as much for the university.

7) ABH gives Perdue A for effort for taking on public education at all. You know, when he slashed the budget he was venturing into the briar patch too. Y'all wanna give him a retrospective A for that?

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Viddy

Checkin' out J. Lo's "Get Right," which you can do likewise with at MTV's site for her or at Launch, and I do like the Beefheart-esque sax bit the song is built on, but:

1) Girl, who do you think you are to begin a song with a minute-plus story intro? Michael Jackson?

2) On the whole, it's a bit too "Crazy in Love" without the stompiness of that song, which couldn't help but hook you in.

3) How many J. Los is enough? The video has both too many and not enough. Why is she not playing that little girl? Or in drag at all? Every damn person in the club should be J. Lo, if you're gonna go the Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich route.

4) Hammer pants. Those night terrors you've been having about 'em are about to be made flesh.

Pop quiz

What's the best single from 2000-2004? When Stylus started doing this at the beginning of the week, I had my answer in mind, and today it's revealed that they got it right. Props, y'all.

Movie Diary (meh)

Shrek 2: So, it's not like my expectations were too terribly high, but it's still just okay. The references are occasionally amusing, but other times completely flat, the plot is standard rom com stuff, the idea of fractured fairy tales already exploited pretty well by the first one, and don't get me started on the soundtrack (concluding with "La Vida Loca" is a particularly off choice, since it's in that terrible region between "in" at the time and qualifying for nostalgia, making it just painful and out of date). I don't want to be completely unfair to the movie, but it is hard to fathom its box office dominance this past summer. Have really been trying to come up with a movie to compare it to, and thought at first Maid in Manhattan, but it's a tetch better than that, so am settling on Notting Hill, which has weaknesses but is on the whole perfectly fine to watch if not comedically transcendent or anything.

Keith Olberman es mas macho

Seriously. J, can we work out some sort of three-way marriage thing a la Roseanne and Tom?

MSNBC beat E! Entertainment to the punch on trial reenactments, debuting Michael Jackson Trial Puppet Theater Wednesday night on Keith Olbermann's show.

It's true, the Jackson trial has not started; Olbermann's show made clear it was not using actual trial testimony, only an artist's conception, with puppets crafted from ice cream sticks.

" 'Countdown' is going to beat E! . . . to the punch," Olbermann said in introducing the segment. "We will start our Michael Jackson trial reenactments now . . . long before the trial starts. To quote the president of the E! network, Ted Harbert, 'I'm a person who believes strongly that what we need to bring to TV is taste,' " Olbermann told viewers.

Asked by The TV Column whether he planned to make this a regular feature during the trial, Olbermann said he couldn't promise but that he would do his best to "run it into the ground."

I can't say that I necessarily believe TV and taste go hand in hand, but reenacting shit before it even starts? That's fucking brilliant. [in WaPo, via]

Added 01/14: Video here, for now.

Worthy of the name, indeed

 Ultimate Christian Wrestler Rob Adonis. These dudes will be at Harvest Church in Athens Jan. 22. If I could only go and somehow blend in. I mean, check it:

Rob Adonis attempted to defended the UCW Heavyweight Championship against “Mr.Evil” Colt Derringer. This match was changed and a new Commissioner was named to the UCW roster. Joey “White Shoes” Johnson was named as the new Comish and made both the Heavyweight AND Derringer’s Tag-Team Title up for grabs. After a brutal 30 minute match, Derringer accidentally hit the referee with the ladder. Adonis hit the ROB BOTTOM and ascended to the top to collect both titles. Before the referee could award the match to Adonis, Frankie Valentine nailed Adonis with 20 pounds of steel

chain. Adonis was out and Derringer picked up the Heavyweight Championship Title just in time for the Referee to name him the New UCW Heavyweight Champion. However, Adonis left with the ½ of the UCW Tag Team Championship. Thus – making RobAdonis and “Outlaw” Todd Zayne the new Tag Champions.

Am leaving random line break in there for the full effect. Do not miss the message board, which is quite genuinely awesome.

Hobbyhorse

1) Perdue's budget is on the table. Like the conclusion:

POLITICS: The governor's budget eliminates a handful of continuing state grants to projects championed by Democrats when they controlled the legislature and re-channels about $16 million in projects on college and technical school campuses from projects chosen by Democrats to projects favored by the governor.

Secretary of State Cathy Cox, a Democrat seeking to unseat Perdue in 2006, is one of only a handful of state agency heads who will get less money in the proposed 2006 budget than now.

For a gov so committed to ethics... Number of times "teachers" mentioned in article: 7. But the article is pretty clear: "Perdue has pledged to give teachers and other state employees a 2 percent raise." Also, note this. $168.9 mill for University System projects (construction, etc.) vs. $148.7 mill for raises for, basically, all state employees. Hmm. AJC talks to DuBose Porter:

House Minority Leader DuBose Porter (D-Dublin) dismissed the speech as "a lot of rhetoric with very little substance." He scoffed at Perdue's pledge to reduce driver's license lines. "He's the one that created the problem" through budget cuts, Porter said.

And, later, this encouraging sign:

Perdue laid out his vision for smaller government and told a story of New World explorers who burned their ships so they would not be tempted to return home.

"What I'm asking you to do tonight is join with me and burn the ships," Perdue said.

Damn the torpedoes? University folk complain the focus is too much on K-12.

2) Now the Regents have a cunning plan to double the number of teachers in Georgia by 2010. The first step?

Strategies include holding schools of education accountable for meeting national and state standards for teacher education and penalizing those that do not. Schools that do not meet improvement goals for two consecutive years could lose their teacher education programs.

Ain't no better way to increase the number of teachers than by decreasing the number of teachers.

3) Tom Meredith--deal with the devil maybe not such a good idea? Oh, but I kid.

4) State of the University address in just a few hours. So start putting on your heckling shoes now. Will focus on academic rigor.

5) Kemp's in favor of the proper channels when it comes to really important university issues, like the name of the stadium. And dude! He's starting a blog [second item].

6) Ivey thinks ACC and UGA will benefit from the new Republican leadership, since some of the newbies on important committees are from around here. Hasn't worked so far though.

7) Thanks, Donald Rudzinski!

8) Stuff about which roads should be four lanes and which three. I guess it's a question of whether you're promoting efficient traffic flow or safety. There are things that are better about the redesigns on the East side than they were before, and there are things that are worse.

9) Oy. This is an ugly, ugly design.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

That track was so hot it melted the CD player...

"K Feds" calls in to KROQ to debut his new tunes "Britney, Sign This Check, Bitch" and "My Penis Has a Mullet." What I love the most is not the lyrics, which are relatively amusing, but the cheapazoid Casio beat he's working over. This is what we call the "bad fake beard" theory of humor, as expressed by Mr. Show; i.e., SNL is rarely funny because they put too much effort into making sure all their wigs look good, whereas Monty Python is constantly funny and on many levels because they don't bother. [via]

Reading

If you have time, you might want to read through this diary by a video clerk in a store with a healthy porn selection. Had been remembering how great this was for years but didn't know where to find it and then, bingo, it pops up on the listserv I devote a good amount of my time to. Which is probably where I got the link in the first place. This paragraph to illustrate a lot of the greatness:

I used to hate opening on weekends because the early morning customers scared the shit out of me. The store opens at 9. I usually do about 20 mintues of set-up and hit the front door at 9 on the dot by the store clock. There is always someone waiting to get to the porn. Once or twice I have had a problem - a register came up short or a circuit breaker was blown - and I've opened the door at, say, 9:01 and 52 seconds. In both cases, a guy was actually pounding at the door when I got to it. Not the same guy - I'm not sure whether that's scarier or not. Both guys almost flipped out when I took the time to slide the sign from "closed" to "open" before turning the lock.

Movie Diary (awfully compelling)

Man on Fire: Good Lord in Heaven, this movie was fucking terrible. The acting is hammy (Radha Mitchell most of all, with a Southern accent that faded in and out and had no reason to be there to begin with). The plot not well developed and obvious in its twists. The script painful to hear: "He'll deliver more justice in a weekend than ten years of your courts and tribunals." And the direction? Fuckin' A, Tony Scott, could you calm down for two seconds and not cut to another shot? For a 60-year-old man, he sure does direct like a freshman in a film program. Take your ritalin, dude. It's hyperactive, and yet it's two-and-a-half hours long and takes forever to get going.

And for all that, I still thought it was interesting, as the title of the post betrays. It's fascinating both in its grimacingly bad choices and its occasional glimpses of good filmmaking. I can't say whether the subtitling method is one or the other, but it's a new thing, not only in its placement on the screen, but its use at moments of emphasis for English, the way it unfolds like karaoke being highlighted (rather than the usual sentence at a time), the use of different fonts and font sizes.

Flipping through different reviews, the comparison to Kill Bill is frequently present, at least in passing, but the films have a completely different understanding of revenge. Or rather, one of them does understand it, and the other doesn't. Guess which is which.

So it's LaToya?

Best concluding sentence with use of extremely brief quotation ever. [bugmenot WaPo] [via]

Hobbyhorse

1) There have got to be a couple of typos in this article about possibly getting rid of the SATs as a factor in two-year college admissions. One is the extra comma in this sentence, before "where," "While admissions standards are stricter, students who require learning support are being admitted to two-year and state colleges, where that help can be provided, he said." And the other is the substitution of "and" for "in" in this one: "The University System of Georgia and Wisconsin's university system are the only widespread users of the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) and ACT scores when considering admittance to two-year and state colleges, Papp said." I'm assuming it should be "in-state" rather than "and state" because I'm sure the state universities that are more prestigious than UGA haven't abandoned the SAT yet. That pointed out, I don't have a problem with the proposal. [The latter typo interpretation is reinforced by the AJC's article.]

2) This article absolutely obviates any commentary with its first two lines:

University of Georgia President Michael Adams' wife has bought a $605,000 home in Athens, just a few miles from the president's mansion where the couple lives for free.

Adams made it clear this does not signal an impending end to his presidency.

Okay, so it's because the official mansion has too many steps and she's recovering from a stroke and she was getting looked at by UGA employees (icky!), but um, we also have this, "It is the Adamses' third home in the area. The couple also own a house on Lake Oconee in Greene County, south of Athens," and these wonderful details: "Mary Adams closed on the 5,762-square-foot home in Renfrew Estates on Oct. 26, 2004. The stately two-story brick house, built in 1987, has 10 rooms, 5 1/2 bathrooms and an outdoor pool, according to Athens-Clarke County records." Aren't you happy for them? I'd be good for another 3-5 years in my position too under such circumstances.

3) ABH sez how stupid it is that legislators are taking up their time trying to rename the hallowed building Dooley-Sanford Stadium. And is absolutely right in doing so. Nice last paragraph:

If the three GOP legislators want to express some loyalty to their alma mater, there are better ways to do it than trying to rename a stadium. They might, for instance, want to make sure the state government provides adequate funding to its flagship institution of higher education.

Students opinions on such here, e.g., "I don't like it when they change the names of things."

4) Kemp will chair Higher Ed subcommittee of Appropriations, so now I guess we'll see what we'll see.

5) Perdue says he wants to hire 500 more DFACS caseworkers. Howevs...

"It's certainly a good start," said Ira Lustbader, associate director for Children's Rights, but he added that 500 more caseworkers aren't enough. The state needs more than 1,000 extra caseworkers to meet national standards, he said.

Also, it's clearly stated that the decision is not related to the fact that the state is being sued for just such, which means, of course, that it is.

6) Fine Arts is requesting out-of-state tuition waivers for some students in its five-year plan. It'll help them recruit better. As it would in any area of the university, right? They say they face a disadvantage in recruiting the most talented students, but how more so than, say, microbiology?

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

Police Blotter (vehicular embarrassment edition)

Remind me not to practice driving in Oconee County. Or go anywhere on the roads.

Arrest: On Jan. 8, deputies were conducting a DUI checkpoint when a Chevrolet Tahoe pulled up, but the driver wouldn't stop. Deputy Scott Underwood slapped on the window and whistled, but the vehicle kept going. Underwood pursued the vehicle on Rockingwood Drive and saw it turn into Friendship Circle, which the deputy knew was a dead-end road. The vehicle crashed into a tree at the end of the road and the driver fled on foot and could not be found. About 5 a.m., a resident of Athens called Athens-Clarke police to report his Tahoe as missing. The call was transferred to Oconee County. Underwood got on the telephone and told the man "to come clean" because he knew who was driving the vehicle. The man then admitted he loaned it to a 17-year-old Athens man. Deputies plan to obtain warrants for the suspect's arrest. The youth did not have a valid license to drive the vehicle.

Threat: On Jan. 8, a resident of Allgood Road reported she was on a roadside when a white Ford F-150 pickup came down Lavista Road and swerved across the road and tried to hit her. She said this has happened in the past and now she is afraid to go jogging. She filed a complaint against the teenage driver.

Arrest: On Jan. 3, Deputy Laura Teet was enroute to a call, when a 2003 Dodge pickup pulled out of the parking lot at Publix and at a high rate of speed and began fishtailing on the road. She stopped the pickup on Mars Hill Road and the driver explained to the deputy he was "showing off in front of friends." Morgan Dane Grayson, 18, of Grayson Lane was charged with reckless driving and laying drag.

Quiet week other than these. Rest is here. [bugmenot]

Dude! Your parents are terrorists.

That's J's title for this season of 24, which was caught up on last night. That storyline in particular is very compelling, with Aghdashloo working the full-on evil mother thing that has run through the show in one form or another from the beginning. Chloe is being as Chloe as she can ("I was going to quit anyway"; heh), and her partner in crime is filling her role from last season nicely. Plus, we've got a decent substitute for Lady Palmer in Marianne and a humanizing factor for Driscoll with her schizo daughter. Team Brown thinks this season will be a step up from last, but still soapy enough to provide mucho giggles.

[Heather covers it in Salon pretty well, the answer to the bit at the end being "yes," of course.]

Justify My Love

So, there's this game, which is the best game in the world to play, and it goes by several names but the one I'm fond of (props to SD) is Quien Es Mas Macho, though the actual question doesn't always apply literally. Anyway. Point being: you present your opponent or partner or whatever with a choice between two fellas or ladies, and he or she has to justify his or her "who's hotter" choice. It's a very simple game and easily modified. And can occupy literally hours if you are a connoisseur of form and face and not apt to get panties bunched if you have a significant other and s/he expresses appreciation for someone other than yourself.

Now, Mr. Daniel Day Lewis would normally fare pretty well in this game. Not top-5 well, but there are plenty of people he'd beat, even though he's a bit tall and bony for my taste. But this throws quite the wrench into the works. Because, honestly, I don't know what to think. Points for having the guts to go out dressed like this, but minus points for, um, going out dressed like this. I do like the beard, though.

There are times

When I actually am busy and can't post so much first thing in the A.M., and this is one of those times, but have added new section of links underneath the first two, for art stuff: contemporary, affordable, interesting, and some of it local.

Goings on

Kids, note that Mitch Hedberg is coming through the Union (funny thing, I think we tried this five damn years ago, before he was a fucking superstar) to Hodgson Hall Friday, Feb. 25 @ 9 p.m. Tickets, suckily, are $8 in advance, $10 day of show for students and $15/17 for non-students, which is pretty much a rip. It's been theorized by one S. Devaney that they'll be recording it, but no confirmation on that.

Also, Vonnegut March 7 @ 7:30 ($2 non-students, free for students with ID), same place. Last time he came through, it sold out like [fingersnap]. He didn't talk very long, but it was pretty entertaining stuff about the trajectory of various works. I had assumed he'd die before making it back, but apparently not. Not yet... Last time also, I seem to remember he'd set his house on fire shortly before coming.

Please don't eat my flesh

That's what I'd say to Clint Eastwood if he looked the way he does in the picture accompanying Reuters's Critics' Choice wrap-up. Effing yikes! Was going to ask if they usually broadcast this ceremony, and if so, does it always follow the People's Choice shindig so closely? Because, snerk. Caught all of two minutes, during their tribute to the fallen, which J called me in for. e.g., New York Minute, presented with the number of weeks before it went to video. Also noticed this line: "One of his co-stars, Virginia Madsen, also plucked from relative obscurity to star in 'Sideways,' was named best supporting actress for her role as the love interest for best actor nominee Paul Giamatti." Relative to what? The absolute comet of fame that is Paul Giamatti?

Hobbyhorse

1) Beginnings of secret plan to reduce class sizes?

2) ABH opposes McCarter's desire to downsize the commission. A very reasonable take.

3) Newspaper's letters policy is flawed! Only prints lib'rul trash! (Like, ahem, this letter?)

4) R&B article on the new buses, with confirmation that they do seat fewer passengers, though have more floor space for standing (or maybe--it's intended to create the impression of more space). My thoughts were recorded here.

5) This cartoon addressing the closing of Blue Sky makes a weird choice in depicting its patrons with cigarettes. That crowd had already moved on.

6) R&B editorial says five-year plans from the university's schools should be used to put "public pressure" on state politicians. "University President Michael Adams and Provost Arnett Mace should bring the plans to the floor of the state capitol, stand before our representatives and show them what this University could accomplish with proper funding." Shoulda coulda. No woulda.

7) Mother. Effer. Yet another column about how the pay raise for "teachers" is missing the mark. Am I going to have to write a letter?

[bugmenot ABH]

Police Blotter (special Tuesday headlines edition)

"Suspect gives officers vague answer to weapons question." Ring ring. Hello, Onion? I believe some of your writers have gotten out of their cages again.

Secondary note: this guy has some pretty big pockets--derringer in the back, large quantity of cocaine, digital scale, undisclosed amt of cash in the front. Was fully expecting the stolen TV set that prompted the whole thing to be stashed in a side pocket.

[bugmenot]

Not beating the Bilbo

But still, ZyQuavious Howard is a pretty big name for a six-year-old. I mean, that kid's gonna learn his ABCs fast.

Viewing Diary

Have just gotten started on this Art 21: Art in the Twenty-First Century thing, which looks to be a super-cool program that didn't make it onto GPTV (as far as I know). J ordered it on an impulse, and it seems like a good overview, arranged around different themes. The first episode, which we've made it about halfway through, is on "place" and has covered Richard Serra and Sally Mann so far. Serra in particular is someone it took me a long time to get, and I say "get" instead of "appreciate" because I refer to an aesthetic experience rather than some vague notion of what his work is about. That's not to say the latter isn't there, but that it's the less important bit to me. Getting something doesn't mean much if you don't like it. Anyway, so the program shows what it's like to encounter Serra's work by moving the camera through it, and his talk about the manipulation/experience of space reinforces what's being shown.

And also. Have started my spring class, seminar level on James and Cather, and will probably be thinking much about the relationship between what "high art" is now (e.g., often something unrecognizable to the man on the street as "art") versus what it was then (more mimetically based, I have to think). And what's the same and what has changed. How do the works of Ray Johnson or Richard Serra relate to Portrait of a Lady other than through Pater (if they even connect there)?

Shooshy

Just so's you know, I don't want to hear a damn thing about last night's two episodes of 24, since I only got to watch the first half hour and had to tape the rest, due to obligations to the moms.

Hobbyhorse

1) GA opens for bidness. What's the quick summary of what's on the table?

House Republicans say they will take their first session behind the wheel slowly, focusing on getting their bearings and passing legislation that meets specific criteria: reducing the size of government; strengthening "traditional" family structure; reducing the tax burden on state residents; and increasing personal responsibility.

Oh, is that all?

2) Luckily, if one is an optimist, one can take comfort in the state's increasing tax revenues. You also might ask me, "Hillary, how do you know Mark Taylor's a big idiot? What is he saying to convince you, already, to most likely throw your vote to a woman approached by the GD Republican Party to switch sides?"

"Hopefully this positive news does not mean another round of pork, but instead a set of strong priorities like eliminating the backlog on rape kits at the GBI, adequately funding k-12 education so we can reduce class size, and adequately funding higher education, so students on HOPE aren't hit with steep tuition increases," Taylor said.

Yes. It's the students whose tuition is already being covered entirely by scholarship (and would most likely continue to be, even with tuition raises) who we should be concerned about... (Also, he hates abortion now.* Or something.) AJC also sez, "The new, robust revenue figures have some wondering why spending cuts will be needed at all." Well, they're philosophically necessary, kids. AP version that the ABH runs has fewer details.

3) McCarter thinks there are too many commissioners. He can't remember all their names. I kid, I kid...

*Best single line of this article is "Cox says she is ready for a hot-and-heavy primary." Hum... Are you sure that's what you meant? I mean, it would make the debates exciting, but fines could be in the offing.

4) Dude. I'm not good with math, and even I can tell that this article on the affordability of public colleges in Georgia is bullshit. You mean, when the school is cheaper, it's actually less affordable for the poor because it costs the rich less of their income percentage-wise? I agree with a lot of the proposals therein and the general statement that Georgia's public colleges and universities don't do enough for their needy students, but stat-wise, it seems like crap.

5) Meh... There doesn't seem to be much difference among them.

6) Rraow. ABHers Winders & Thompson make fun of some of the idiots who send them letters. Hooray. This should be done occasionally.

7) Letter from President of GAE re pay hike for teachers. Fair assessment, but everyone hearing about the average pay rate of $45K or whatever is gonna need more than that to turn around their new "eff teachers" mentality. I know I would.

8) That'll teach me to have faith in people. Emm. Eff.

[bugmenot AJC; bugmenot ABH]

If you're thinking of entering the dead pool this year

Might we suggest Verne Troyer as an outside chance? Little kidneys can only do so much work.

I swear. I have pubes.

You mighta thought Justin's pic on IMDB was as embarrasingly out of date as it got, and in doing so, you would be wrong. Justin had at least progressed pretty much entirely through puberty in his headshot. Whereas Aaron Carter? Not so much.

More with the vroom

Back on the road again wrt driving, and by road, I mean the little ones within our neighborhood, where the speed limit is 25 mph and there are numerous road humps and no traffic lights. Still, I got to experience:

• Turning (and the fact that some turns should be taken quickly and others slowly, and I don't yet know how to distinguish between them)
• Oncoming traffic (YEEP!)
• Oncoming pedestrian traffic (much less so w/ the YEEP, but more so when the two were combined), sometimes with dogs
• A big hill
• Hitting the speed/road bumps/humps a little too fast now and then
• Having a car behind me and having to go faster than 15 mph to avoid creating road rage in the driver
• Navigating around a car parked on the side of the road, near an intersection
• The sun in my eyes
• Not hunching over the steering wheel like a granny but attempting to sit back and relax a little

Things are progressing. Maybe someday I will make it up to 25 mph on a regular basis.

Dear FOX, thank you

1) Your news channel is the first place I saw that Brad and Jen had split. Some might say that devoting valuable crawl space to the vagaries of celebrity marriage and divorce is frivolous and misuse. Not I. (There was even brief high-fiving over the source.)

2) There are times, being imperfect, when I like the results but not the motive. This is one of those times, FOX. [via]

3) You've kicked off the new season of 24 very nicely. Love Chloe's new hair and the addition of la famiglia terrorist, complete with teenage son (he and his mom weirdly semi-repeating their roles from House of Sand and Fog) and his little white gf who will no doubt be tortured horribly. Hooray! Am already impressed with quick pick-up of webcast assassination videos, William Devane's extreme sweatiness, and the fact that Jack and his daughter seem to have this problem in common of dating coworkers.

Movie Diary

What's awesome about your husband getting sick? Well, getting to lie around and watch a bunch of movies, of course.

1) White Chicks: Are there bits that are unbelievably excruciating in their unfunniness? Lord, yes. Are there other bits that are kind of amusing? Also yes. Esp repeated use of Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles." Setting it in the Hamptons was also a good idea. And Busy Philipps proves how awesome she is. She's a total mess onscreen, and she comes across beautifully. But, dude. We don't get to find out who makes the cover of Hamptons Magazine?

2) Runaway Jury: Relatively high ranking in the Grisham-flick pantheon. Good plot, mostly classy job. But what in the crap is with the message at the end? Should a lawyer really be sending it? Don't want to spoil anything as kind of a lot is hinging on the surprise ending, but still am weirded out. Everyone does fine in it. I don't think anyone is spectacular.

3) Down with Love: Not awful, just a big nothing. I'm a fan of the movies it's a take-off on, but it weirdly rides the middle, sort of an homage, sort of a parody, and way too much plot. Sets are gorgeous but unmistakeably not of the period because they're too perfectly so. Much preferred the interactions of the secondary couple to those of the primary, since Hyde Pierce in particular was playing it pretty straight and, thus, better.

4) The Five Obstructions: Lars von Trier is a sadistic ass. But he's also a genius. Am now inclined to go ahead and go for his more recent stuff that I've been avoiding because it looked eyeball-clawingly depressing. Buck up, Hillary. You can do it. He's very much about poking a sore spot until you want to smack him, but more so as if doing so would occasionally produce, say, a pot of gold. "You fucker!" you'd want to say. But then the pot of gold would show up. And you'd be very confused. Point is, even if I don't like some of his stuff, he's not afraid (at least in the movie sphere), and I respect that. And this is genuinely entertaining as a film, too.

5) The Bourne Supremacy: Good moments, but not as good over all as the first one, maybe because there's less to find out and less going on this time. Still very competent and not annoying.

6) Cold Mountain: Overwrought cornball Oscar bait. But I kind of liked it anyway. Much prefer it to, e.g., The English Patient, as far as your pretty, love-story-driven, Minghella period pieces go. Everyone ACTS up a storm, and almost no one can do a decent Southern accent (even Zellweger's is pretty funky), and I still sorta liked it. For one thing, it's darn good looking. And for another, it's not afraid to be a little weird at times. Philip Seymour Hoffman sucks. Brendan Gleeson's incomprehensible but great. The battle scenes are esp lovely.

7) House of Sand and Fog: Rare indeed. This movie made me absolutely lose it, i.e., bust out in tears. It so doesn't happen hardly ever. But I was invested in the characters, and it didn't feel like melodrama; it felt like drama. One point that I think contributes to that is the fact that in a lot of movies of the type, the characters bring their destruction on themselves (Requiem for a Dream, for example). And this is not to say that they don't deserve sympathy or love or mercy, but tragedy striking those who have behaved responsibly sucks more. Hey, Sean Penn, Ben Kingsley wants his Oscar back. It's a fucking heartbreaker, and I was vastly impressed.

Quibble

I kind of love the idea for this article, which is that the time-honored tradition of eating in front of the TV has become imperiled by all the gross stuff that's on, but there is a problem. Of the shows he mentions, only one, Fear Factor, is on as early as 8 p.m. The remaining selections are on at 9 (The West Wing, Everybody Loves Raymond, According to Jim, My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, CSI) or as late as 10 (CSI New York and Miami, Nip/Tuck, Cold Case, Crossing Jordan). So what's anyone doing eating dinner as late as all that? Where are we, Europe?

[bugmenot] [via]

First?

Related to the Mickey D's ad thing, was having a brief discussion with J on the (sorry) meme used therein, i.e., that of what looks like a face actually being a sophisticated mask. Clearly, Mission Impossible and subsequently Charlies Angels are what revived the idea, but we were both thinking back to Scooby-Doo. Does the original MI tv show contain this device? Is there anything earlier?

Panty-watch '05

It begins early.

1) A D.J., wearing a sequined garter and white panties, had tassels on her breasts. During "Maneater," she was accompanied by a Japanese man beating odaiko drums. [from Joyce Wadler's "Boldface Names" column, 01/04/05, wrt the opening of a new L.A. restaurant, Geisha House; geishas also present though underwear un-noted]

Last time.

Hobbyhorse

1) Perdue's newest goal is to reorganize and better administer the DMV. Hey, props.

Perdue also proposed spending $1.5 million to hire another 46 driver's license examiners - up 12 percent from the 397 now in the field. The governor cited the agency's previous habit of responding to budget cuts by slicing the number of employees in the field instead of cutting down on administration.

If only he had this response to, say, education. Might I suggest that the renewal branches at various Krogers be reinstated?

2) MNS actually starts their article on the proposed pay hikes with this (despite "some say" headline):

ATLANTA - State workers and teachers aren't likely to buy up yachts and expensive sports cars with the pay raises Gov. Sonny Perdue is proposing for them since their 2 percent boost is below the projected rise in inflation and private-sector compensation.

Kelly McCutchen, veep of the Georgia Public Policy Foundation, says "To continue offering competitive salaries ... the state should look at streamlining its payroll or consider merit-based raises instead of the across-the-board approach to raises or cutbacks." Ugh. Streamlining doesn't sound so hot. ABH editorial says it's not enough, raises some interesting issues (e.g., maybe teachers in hard-to-fill positions should get bigger raises), but ignores the fact that it's not just teachers being talked about. Georgia's teachers may be among or the highest paid in the Southeast, but the employees of its educational system as a whole are definitely not. Ditto for AJC, which says that money should go toward reducing class sizes.

3) I've got it! If the university can somehow produce enough clones, they can replace staff members at lower salaries and thus streamline the system. Larger scale, eh?

4) As sort of expected, no race considerations will be implemented this year in admissions. Not enough time. Hence the phone calls, fee waving, etc. But it's hard to tell if it's a genuinely needed slowdown or feet-dragging prompted by unwillingness from state government. Probably the former.

5) Savannah Morning News trashes the Foundation and its possible financial improprieties, but seems to love the Board of Regents. Prob is, none of them are particularly accountable to anyone, most of them are in the pocket of the governor, and they're all rich, white jackasses.

6) President of Agnes Scott writes for AJC about how awesome private schools are, and she has some points, but this state is in a very strange situation over all. Because of the HOPE scholarship and the way it's increased the flow of rich kids to state schools, because of the number of historically black private schools, because private colleges in Georgia require less now (academically) in many ways than the flagship state institution.

[bugmenot ABH; AJC; SMN]

Ad comment

So, the latest McDonald's ad that's running, with the guy in the Mexican wrestling mask, may not be as weird/terrible as the previous one (at the basketball game, where McDonald's saves the day by making a dude with a big head bend down to eat his burger, and which J hated so much that he would practically convulse every time it came on, which was a lot), but it is still extremely strange. My main question has been whether this guy in the mask is a specific Mexican wrestler or a generic one, and if a specific one, is the ad targeted at Hispanics? It certainly seems to be so, judging from the other people in the ad, who are pretty much all Hispanic, but why is McDonald's targeting that audience in a specific way? Are not enough Hispanics eating at McDonald's? Do they prefer Burger King? Or Wendy's? Or is it a strong fast-food market that's growing and therefore deserves some attention?

Googling a bit leads one to find that the wrestler in question's name is Shocker, though he looks considerably younger in these photos than in the ad, and he clearly doesn't have a problem with taking his mask off, which is strange, since it's the entire premise the ad is built around. Anyone else have any illumination on the subject?

Songs from the first floor

Have finished going through the Stylus list mentioned earlier and discovered four more tunes I think are really worth hearing.

Special D's "Come with Me"--This links straight to the video, since I haven't found the audio separately, but it's worth it. I believe Stylus mentioned something about how it could have come out any time in the past 20 years, and that's extremely accurate, but I have a real soft spot for Euro-disco-cheese like this, especially with a thumping, fast tempo. Cheerleaders, blurred nudity, maggot eating, X Games-type sports, lots of random words on the screen? Turn It UP!

Rammstein's "Amerika"--Accessible through the Rammstein music player on their site. Dude. This song is pretty catchy for anything spelling America with a K. Really. It is.

Kelis's "Trick Me"--I've been crazy about "Millionaire" since last year, before it was released as a single, but hadn't heard this one yet, and it's almost as good. If you go here and scroll down, you'll find the video, which is also nice (though simple). Anyone know where the beat's lifted from? It's ringing bells, but not loud enough yet.

Jojo's "Baby It's You"--I know. I know. But just go to her site, launch it with the sound, and see if you're not suckered by the beginning, with its flickery fade-in-fade-out vocals and soft, kicky beat. It's almost R. Kelly, just a shade less weird and with more Middle-Eastern flavor, and it's making me think I should watch VH1 a lot more than I do. Why didn't anyone tell me Jojo kicks ass? (This is staying on a loop for a while.)

Moments in awesomeness

Being in a parking lot to check out a restaurant and hearing someone yell "hey, white people" and, of course, turning around. Woo! White people!

Hobbyhorse

1) Possible teacher/educator pay hike for the second year in a row, delayed again until January for most recipients (including university employees) instead of taking effect at end of FY. Lots of back and forth. It would be 2 percent.

Still, teacher lobbyists said Perdue's proposal isn't enough for educators who also face an annual cost-of-living increase of roughly 3 percent, as well as health-care premiums that have gone up 10 percent to 15 percent.

...Perdue pointed out that most teachers - roughly 75 percent - will also receive 3 percent pay raises this year under the teacher salary index, which guarantees educators extra pay as they work more years in the system.

Yes, but not people who work in the university system, who make a lot less than most teachers, incidentally. Mark Taylor offers a middle-ground quote on the issue. AJC's article calls it a "cost-of-living pay raise" in the first sentence, which is accurate.

2) Comment period on 316 toll thing extended due to much bitching. Confirmation also that most people are agin it ("not just no, but hell, no"). ABH editorial says, "nice, but what's the point of the former when the latter is eminently clear?" AJC's editorial says State Transportation Commissioner Linnekohl says that much of the opposition is based on ignorance, which will surely win him tons of support. Maybe they should just buy a plane to skywrite, "hey, dumbasses, it's going through whether you like it or not."

3) Letter re Braswell thing giving one take on what happened, i.e., it was a nice letter she read to the squad against her bosses' wishes. Hum.

4) So we're going with initiatives. Well, hell. Why didn't they say so in the first place? Next up: all black students who enroll at the university get a free personal pan pizza. That oughta bring in tons more.

5) UGA geochemists weird but doing okay financially.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Shell of a story...

Okay, so it might not be entirely appropriate to giggle in the middle of a story about an Athens family whose home has burned down for the second time in four months, but come on... This paragraph is asking for it.

No one was home when the house near Shoney's Restaurant erupted into flames shortly before 7 p.m. except for the family's pet turtle, which survived its second fire, though its shell was still warm to the touch after repeated dousings with water.

[bugmenot]

Sometimes parody surpasses reality

And that's what I'm assuming happened in this viddy for O-Zone's "Dragostea Din Tei," found while looking around for that song (am going through Stylus's list of the top 75 singles in the U.K. this year, listening to everything I didn't hear). I think there must be a non-Lego version out there, but why bother to search for it after seeing this, which absolutely should have been the official video. Romanian disco + little Lego dudes breakdancing = overload of cuteness.

TAR-love

Completely forgot to mention this yesterday, but have to now. I.e., this season of The Amazing Race has been down a little, on the whole, and I'm not often the sort of person who enjoys watching the eating challenges on, say, Fear Factor, but the amount and style of vomiting on TAR's last episode moved quickly from nauseating the viewer to making this particular one about pee from laughing so hard. Second-best moment being when the Hungarian band members were beginning to look a little green, but absolute best being the look on Freddy's face when he realized he had puked a bit back into his bowl of soup and was therefore going to have to eat it. Oh. Em. Gee. (And also: awesome.) Despite elimination of Gus & Hera (leaving me rooting for Lori & Bolo), a fine, fine episode.

Sigh.

See previous post. The program was, in fact, vastly disappointing, to the extent that we didn't bother to watch the last hour. Very scattershot without also being a good overview for beginners. Constant confusing of "dialect" with "accent." Representation of more prescriptivist people by stodgy assholes who maintain that the English language is going down the tubes and must be saved (as if there is no compromise to be had, esp between spoken v. written forms). A few interesting tidbits on how the Texas accent evolved, but, along the way, a ref to LBJ as "our first president from Texas." Growl. For "first," read "only." The bits on frequent use of "bitch" and "ho" in "gangsta rap" (during which, the suburban white teens they chose to talk to were clearly fans of more underground rap artists, like Talib Kweli, which was pretty obvious if you a) listened to them and b) knew anything at all) and on IM slang were particularly lame and painful. To the extent that "lame!" was yelled at the TV more than once. Robert MacNeil is an old, old man, and while I appreciate his trying, that is all he comes across as.

I believe I do

This is gonna be awesome. Nerdfest '05 is starting early.

Panty-watch (the 2004 wrap-up)

One final entry for the year.

37) Gavin: Russ loved being with women with big breasts. He loved to see the reaction, not so much from the men, because he knew what that was going to be, but from the women. Once, it was my birthday, and Russ took me to Chasen's, and Kitten came. Kitten walked in first. Russ loved to walk behind Kitten, because then he could see all the reactions after she passed people. She was wearing a nude-colored chiffon sheer outfit with no underwear at all. No bra, no panties, no nothing. ''That woman just about swallowed her dentures!'' he said. He just loved it, because people were dropping their forks on the table when she walked by. [from "The Man Who Really, Really Loved Women," by Chris Gore, 12/26 and therefore unlinkable by this point, though accessible via Lexis-Nexis; an appreciation of the late Russ Meyer; Erica Gavin, one of his favorite stars, is the one being quoted]

So, 2004 was slightly under the norm, with 37 as opposed to the more frequent 39, though it originally seemed it would bust right through the usual amount of "panties" mentioned. It was an average year, in other words, not a panty-fest like 2003. What will 2005 bring? We'll be tracking it, of that you can be sure.

Combo: Police + Typo

So, not only is this one of the most frivolous Police Central items evs, but it also contains a great slip of the keyboard.

Local library book turns up in e-sale

A book from the Athens-Clarke County Library cropped up for sale on a popular Internet book-sales site, and Athens-Clarke police took a report in case that book and three other missing tomes turn out to be stolen.

A library employee notified police Monday that a man from the metro Atlanta area had bought "The University in a Nutshell" by astrophysicist Stephen Hawking on Amazon.com, and the book he received had an Athens-Clarke County Library stamp and ID number on it.

The employee told police the library's copy of the book was missing but was listed as being "in" at the library.

Police said the woman tracked the seller through the Internet and learned that three other books that could be from the library also are up for sale. All three are listed as "in" at the library but could not be found, the employee told police.

Police took a report and tried to contact the seller of the books, identified as a University of Georgia student from North Carolina.

It would be nice to think one could cram Sanford Stadium into the space normally occupied by a walnut, and it would certainly give ammo to the General Assemblymen of the world to make cracks about insanity and suchlike, but unfortunately, it just seems someone has higher education on the brain. [Story here]

Something that should be noted

Monster-truck racing is not nearly as exciting as monster-truck freestyle, and even many freestyle competitions do not contain enough stuff on the track, leading to far fewer spectacular crashes through mobile homes and on top of shipping containers and so on. I know this now.

It begins

Sometimes a backlash is a little sluggish in coming, but it's like death. Or taxes, for those who can't afford to get out of them. This one's car didn't start in the morning and it couldn't find a ride, so it had to take the bus, but now it finally seems to be here. And it's about fucking time. I mean, who contends that this season of SNL sucks, but not the previous one?

Police Blotter (it's the most wonderful time of the year)

Merry Christmas Eve!

Arrest: On Dec. 24, Deputy Scott Underwood was dispatched to an accident on the Athens Perimeter near U.S. Highway 441, where he saw a Ford Ranger pickup laying on its side. Underwood approached the driver, who smelled of alcohol and admitted he drank about five beers 40 minutes before the accident. Jasinto Ramos, 26, of Main Street, Watkinsville, was charged with DUI and being an unlicensed driver.

Arrest: On Dec. 24, Deputy Scott Underwood was dispatched about 11:30 p.m. to a report of a man passed out in a car on Burr Harris Road. When Underwood arrived, he observed the man behind the steering wheel with vomit all over his shirt. He managed to awaken the man, who barely was able to stand when he got out. There was one open beer and 17 unopened bottles of beer in the car. The man, Joshua A. Murillo, 24, of McCree Street, Watkinsville, kept saying, "I was just trying to get home. Where am I?" He was charged with DUI and an open container violation.

With this one, you have to wonder if someone's a fan of "Mellow Yellow" or what...

Harassment: On Dec. 28, a man was at home on Dials Mill Road about 6 a.m. when the telephone rang, and two men, identified only as Donovan and Joe, began to harass him. They called him by a name, which he said was not his name, and when he described himself to the men, they agreed they had called the wrong number. The victim had the suspects' telephone number on his caller ID, so he called the men back and they explained they were working undercover with Athens-Clarke police and they were just trying to warn someone of "something going down." They said they had called him by mistake. Deputy Shane Partain took the report and called the ACC police, who denied knowing anything about Donovan or Joe.

And finally, we may already have the entry of the year, and it's the first edition of '05:

Arrest: On Jan. 1, a resident of Colham Ferry Road arrived home about 2:20 a.m. and saw an unfamiliar pickup parked in his yard. Concerned a burglar might be inside, he contacted the sheriff's office and deputies James Hale and Bryan Yoder arrived. They went into the home and saw a man, dressed only in his underwear, asleep on the couch. Nigel Andrew Clark, 26, of Frazier Hill Road, High Shoals, was awakened and appeared to be intoxicated. He told the deputies he couldn't remember how he ended up in the house, but thought he was going to a friend's house. When he identified the friend, the resident of the house told deputies that man lived next door. Clark was charged with trespassing.

The rest here. [bugmenot]

Hobbyhorse (so much to read)

Quick review of what happened over the break.

1) 316 thing: Students go "waaa!" (but are kind of right). Chairman of Transportation Board writes letter clarifying that the vote isn't on the toll but on whether to enter into an agreement with the private company at all--things moving verrrry slowly, he says. One Republican wants state funds to offset toll costs. Ain't y'all agin that? One AJC op-ed contains the following:

Also, no data are provided on alternative ways to reduce accidents. I suspect that adding traffic lights at the remaining uncontrolled grade crossings would reduce the accident rate almost as much as making the road limited-access. Admittedly, those lights would slow the commute, but they would cost almost nothing, could be installed in a few months with little disruption in traffic, and would not necessitate a toll.

I would guess this is not the case, in that they would reduce accidents a little, but not nearly as much as the move to limited access. Traffic lights aren't restrictive enough; if you want to run one, you can do so pretty easily. Bonus points to this letter writer for use of "boondoggle." Input from Speaker of the House in the General Assembly on magical transformation to research area that requires best road ever.

2) AJC hammers the Foundation on its lack of transparency, gets in a money-laundering dig.

3) Budget news. No further cuts to education in FY 2006, but no restoration of funds either.

"We don't really have any other choice unless we're willing to say health care is more important than education," [Perdue] said. "I'm not willing to do that."

They're both luxuries we can't afford... AP runs a piece on our beloved gov, repeating the "no signature issue" thing. For god's sake, don't encourage him to come up with one. The ol' A-word ("accountability") is starting to come up again too; and DuBose Porter should maybe have someone on his staff figuring out if "it's a net gain, or simply putting it back even." A few traitorous legislators are also starting to express concern about Perdue's Medicare reform plan, which is troublingly detail-less. The best part? "In any case, lawmakers' approval of Perdue's plan might not be necessary. State Rep. Mickey Channell, a Greensboro Democrat who authored the bill authorizing the PeachCare for Kids program, said most of the changes could be done by the governor." Awesome!

4) Braswell sitch. Jim Ponsoldt, former candidate for the commission, writes in about the case to the ABH, contending that "this story is one of poor judgment on both sides" and that "The Braswell case never should have reached court - she should not have been fired for 'showing up' her superiors. Good leaders are not thin-skinned. Instead, they listen, open-minded, to divergent views." Well, yeah. I suppose so. But that's assuming we have entirely good leaders in charge. Jason makes with the mocking, appropriately, when they're also getting letters facetiously suggesting that the Chapel be demolished, since there's a clear parallel between having a building on-campus and allowing proselytizing on state time.

5) UGA will have Memorial Garden for those fallen in war. Because a whole 5-story building wasn't enough. It's not an unworthy project, but it does seem more related to campus beautification and the like than is currently necessary.

6) Good summary of the year in ABH, though minus the fratty charbroiling.

7) Cox announces for governor. Concluding paragraph reads:

In a hint of what may be the bruising primary contest to come, Taylor spokesman Rick Dent said, "Now we will see if Mark Taylor's experience, his record on schools, jobs and protecting families and his moderate views on the issues can beat a liberal like Cox in a Democratic primary."

Yeah, so liberal she was approached by the Republican Party to switch sides... Clearly, this line of attack needs no basis at all in reality.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Just for reference

And just so it's here, I'll post my top 5 albums of '04 list, which is residing in the comments at Mes Eclipse currently. The thing is, I suppose I didn't buy all that many albums that came out this year, and my brain is becoming more and more singles oriented, so...

5) Lil' Flip Scoldjah/Masta Cylindaz--Out Francin' Y'all

4) R. Kelly--Happy People/U Saved Me

3) Joanna Newsom--The Milk-Eyed Mender

2) Kanye West--The College Dropout

1) Brother Danielson--Brother::Son

With all rights reserved to change this shit if I wanna.

You have to do Michael Jordan stuff

But not that other Michael Jordan stuff that gets alluded to later in ESPN.com's latest edition of "The Hook-Up," with Dwight Freeney and Kanye chatting about how they've stuffed all the haters in their lives. If you haven't gotten your daily dose of cock, you'll get enough for a week here. And you'll find out who the only perfect person in the world is (amazingly, neither of the two participants).

If water could do that much damage, just imagine the consequences of flesh

So, Low Culture pointed out earlier that some headline writers might need to think about their phrasing a little more carefully. Even more so when your headline is more directly related to the event itself: "Wave of TV Reporters Reaches Disaster Area."

...

Up next, "Hiroshima Radiates Charm for Tourists," no doubt.

A sad farce

That is what Iron Chef America is guaranteed to be, judging from the special aired previously this week, which involved a long behind-the-scenes look (mostly not watched) and three competitions: Flay v. Sakai, Puck v. Morimoto, and Flay/Morimoto v. Batali/Sakai. Flay, un-fucking-believably enough, won both times, despite really sloppy work (esp when compared to Chef Sakai's impeccable compositions). This is the problem with having judges who know jack-all, the moment encapsulating this being when character-actor-fella from The Sopranos mutters in thick NYC accent (of a truffle), "it tastes kinda like-a mushroom." Forehead slapped. Seems it should only be a matter of time before someone actually physically attacks the two celebrities who get to be on the panel. On the other hand, it was pretty fascinating to watch the dialogue between Jeffrey Steingarten and the chefs because there's this undertone of "hey, we're talking on the same level because we know our shit."

Men in Black II, you say?

NYT runs article on how influential The Golden Girls was as a sitcom training ground for writers. Except they basically have two examples, both shows that have been on less than a year and a half.

Substitute: Get a Life, which involved Charlie Kaufman, Adam Resnick ("Larry Sanders"), and Bob Odenkirk. And that's just one example.

[bugmenot]

Gulp... yes.

You know what's embarrassing even in the privacy of your own office, when taking an anonymous survey? Being asked the question: "Have you watched motorsports on TV within the past 30 days?" and having to check the box for "yes" because you spent an hour last night checking out the freestyle Monster Truck competition they were running on Speed Network. Does that count as motorsports, technically? When there's a lot less motoring than there is crashing into mobile homes and tearing off your wheels? Point is, it was awesome enough to overcome embarrassment and make a real effort to flip back to once commercial breaks were concluded. Those drivers are some serious badasses, not to mention devoted to showmanship.

Movie Diary (back in frickin' business edition)

Whew, y'all. There are good things and bad things about finally being back at work. The good things mostly having to do with having email once again, and the bad things with the fact that there is a really big difference between getting up around 8 a.m. and getting up at 6:45 a.m. So, we'll do a quick run-down of what was watched over the break, which was really far less than could have been because I was occupying myself with rereading Portrait of a Lady for class.

1) Anatomy of a Murder: This being a re-watch, long after purchase from the then-closing Video Library. It certainly holds up since the last viewing, which I believe was at the Tate Student Center theater. Anyway. It's an interesting entry in the courtroom drama genre because it doesn't concern itself much with what really happened. It's much more focused on the details of the case and the battle between the attorneys on both sides (culminating in fab interplay between Jimmy Stewart and George C. Scott, who is just burning with ambition in this role).

2) The Godfather, Part II: This being part of a small program for me to watch a few classics that I'd never seen but J had, while he was having to go to work and I was trying to find something to fill up the hours other than daytime television. So, now it's all checked off. And it is indeed good, but also overrated, much the way the first one is, only with the presence of De Niro, whose first appearance I was trying to describe to Zig as rather like the first time you see John Wayne in Stagecoach, when the camera just swoops up to him from below and you gasp at 1) the hero-ness of the moment and 2) how darn pretty he used to be. I wanted more of the old stuff and less of the new. It also strikes me that a lot of people who really like these flicks must be romantics of a sort that I am not (and the score is a particular pointer in that direction).

3) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974): The second of three in the small program mentioned above. Am refusing to separate "chainsaw" into two words the way IMDB has it. Not all that scary and considerably less bloody than expected but quite well-filmed, when there's enough light to see what's going on. And also funny, especially toward the end. There is a stretch of about 30 minutes in the middle that's sort of boring and irritating, but over all it holds up well. Am now allowed to see the remake and am curious. And if it's not blasphemy, I may prefer Wrong Turn, even though that flick is mighty flawed too.

4) The Terminal: Quite horribly cheesy as it progresses, but I also liked it much much more than I expected, to the extent that I'd say I actually did like the movie. It's incredibly well-made, too, despite being too long--that is, the camerawork is just... staggering, when you think about it. There are these crane shots that go for miles, with lovely stuff barely visible around the edges and all sorts of obstacles to be overcome, and if you weren't thinking, you wouldn't even notice how damn amazing they are. Good character roles in the background (yay! Kumar!) and Capra-esque triumph of the little working man, even if he's now in the service industry and his boss is unrealistically horrible.

5) Super Troopers: Seriously funny. Quite glad to see this after the sucky Club Dread because expectations were really low, and this more than surpassed them. Definitely see why it's all quotable and such. Should be many more movies of this quality.

6) How to Draw a Bunny: Very good documentary on the late Ray Johnson, pop artist and definite dancer on the line between sane and not, prompted by his mysterious death of drowning in 1995, which may or may not have been his final work of art. Everyone he knew seems to have at least one great story and probably more. The art is uneven as far as how much I like it but is definitely produced by a strong mind and is of a piece.

7) The River (2003): This is a Finnish film about what happens to about a dozen people in the same town in the course of a few hours, and what it reminded me of more than anything is Van Sant's Elephant. It has sort of the same process of wandering with someone, where you see things, but then later you see them from a different perspective (literally) and they make more sense (e.g., so that's where that guy was going in such a hurry). Can't find the link on IMDB because there are far too many movies with the same name, and I can't remember what the Finnish title was.

8) National Lampoon's Dorm Daze: "Why?" you ask. Eh, there are some good character people in it, and it seemed to balance out the other choices pretty well. Here's my new key: if there are two people in the movie that I like, even if I'm pretty sure it's going to suck, I'll watch it. And Courtney Gains and James DeBello met that requirement, plus the kid from Son in Law, this dude from American Pie, and Topanga. And really, it didn't suck. It didn't make me bust a gut, but it had a pretty well-crafted plot (which is something) and avoided gross-out humor. So props to National Lampoon. Am I recommending it? Eh, not really. But you could do worse.

9) Guess Who's Coming to Dinner: The third and last for now of my required viewing. I hadn't been able to find it earlier in the week because I didn't think to look under "comedy." Because it really isn't one. No matter what IMDB says. Yes, it's good and classic and mostly unsurprising. Tracy reminds me of my late grandpa (except for the firebrand liberal thing). About the only thing that doesn't quite work is the girl herself, who just isn't so much the sort of thing you'd go through all that for.

10) Speedo: Another re-watch, to round out the list, which is pretty short at only ten films. Can't find if I wrote about it the first time, but it's an extremely strong documentary on a fascinating subject (a demolition derby driver who's as close to professional as it gets). If there could be a film like this about everyone, or at least about each type out there, harmony might be a possibility.