OSIS (the ATL)

LD sez:

I saw John Smoltz, Bobby Cox, Mark Lemke, Dan Kolb, and Ryan Langerhans today at the Braves "Power Lunch" (guy I work with is on the Braves Advisory Board and had free tickets). Also seen was Stu Klitenic (the host of the festivities) and John Kincade of 680 the Fan.

Remarks: Cox was kind of thin skinned at one question from the fans. Smoltz was the most talkative and told the lamest jokes (one was about Jeff Blauser and a pig...). Most of the luncheon was spent talking about Mark Lemke. One weird thing - Just before they went "On the Air", Klitenic said something about how the players and Lemke won't answer any questions about their personal lives or relationships. Klitenic then said that HE didn't mind responding, but definitely no personal questions to LEMKE or the other players (his emphasis). Anything to do with the longtime rumors about the Lemmer? Kincade had the single worst seat in the entire room (far corner, facing away from the panel), which is kind of appropriate, and I wonder if the rival station hosting the luncheon put him there on purpose.

I want to know more about this Jeff Blauser/pig joke. And how much shit did Kolb get?

Hobbyhorse

1) Yeah, just give the fuck up already, Foundation! I mean, why bother to fight the power at all. Bend over and take it like the men you (mostly) are.

Operating often more like a private club than a public agency, the UGA Foundation also fought compliance with the state's open meetings and open records laws.

By this rationale, I believe we can act the Regents to disband as well, can we not? Robert Miller in particular does not like the idea of a new Foundation entirely beholden to Adams spending his money. Comme ca:

Miller said his concerns about the endowment stem from a Deloitte & Touche audit of Adams' spending the foundation commissioned in fall 2003. The audit accused Adams of using donors' money for personal expenses and possibly misappropriating funds.

But give it up, dude. I mean, there's nothing you can do about the fact that Adams is the king of the damn universe. (He's the litigation that was presented as the reason for a closed meeting.) GT and MCG Foundations also didn't meet the deadline set by the Regents, but weren't dissolved.

2) Nelms acquitted.

Jury forewoman Brenda Crumley said fellow panelists voted to acquit mainly because the prosecution presented no physical evidence connecting Nelms to the July 23, 2003, fire

Does UGA still get their arson money? Or did he have to be convicted for that? Even Mauldin doesn't seem pissed about results. Investigation into the fire will not be reopened.

3) If we call him a coot again, can we make some kind of avian flu joke?

4) Despite my not liking the decision to hire Giese and fire Simpson, she does still have to rule according to the law, and I don't think there's any way these lawyers are going to win their case, which they probably expect, given that they're prepared for such.

5) Mourning, but so hottt. That is, this is kind of a chest-emphasizing shot to use for a memorial ceremony.

6) Economic development plan for Oconee County includes 316, strip malls, drankin'.

7) Jim Crow laws symbolically removed from the books.

8) I do agree with this fella that public transportation is much more important to invest in than bike lanes. Again, bikes are a totally valid method of transportation, but the dollars would affect more people if directed to public transit.

9) Dude. Someone stole Conrad Fink's car. Maybe it was Yarbrough?

Fink said he had a good day Wednesday when he spoke at the Honors Day convocation, but his day wasn't so good Thursday after the theft of his car.

"There is an eternal balance in life," Fink said, regarding the events of the two days.

10) The guy trying to reduce freshman car use is named Wheeler. Oh the irony. At least it's not Terry Hummer.

10) Puff piece on Uga VI. But who can resist?

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Average It Up (U.S. edition)

1) Mudvayne, "Happy?" -- Once you've heard Mortiis, Mudvayne is a like a dream. It's not all that hard, and it's got pop in it. But that doesn't exactly make it interesting. Not hating life while listening to it combined with the genre in which it's working adds up to a 3. [streaming on their site]

2) Nelly feat. Snoop, "Errtime" -- Eh, I really don't think it's hooky enough, and I thought the same about "Goodies," so the amount to which it steals the beat from that is incidental. Must acknowledge Sandler cameo at end of video, which I am amused by. Nelly can do better than this; it's sort of middle-of-the-road ass-shaking and hot cars and a rhythm you can probably dance to, but it's not more than that. 4. [video streaming here]

3) The Used and My Chemical Romance, "Under Pressure" -- Note: You, my friend, are not David Bowie. And you are not Freddie Mercury. And none of you are really up to doing this song. Imagine the original, only less well done, with much thinner vocals and no real sense of excitement. Plus, the bass is scaled considerably back, which, if you're going to do a fairly faithful cover, why? The song itself is still good, but bleh. 2, at least partially out of annoyance. [no linky for free; iTunes has it, if you want to pay to hear this]

4) Mariah Carey, "We Belong Together" -- Aw. This is more typical Mariah than "It's Like That" was, and it's not really very exciting. I know the Stylus folks seem to like it more than I do. The way she delivers the titular line is good, but the rest of it is not very focused (aside from the piano; the piano is good too). Not really my kind of R&B, I think. 4. (video on her site)

5) Squeak E. Clean feat. Karen O., "Hello Tomorrow" -- A little piece of fluffy nothing, tailored to indie sensibilities, but damn if it doesn't work. I like it quite a bit, and I sort of don't want to. The Mariah song, previously, is an example of something not quite tailored to someone's voice, but this uses Karen O's hoarse girlishness really nicely. It also holds up without the neat visual accompaniment and is short. Plus, me lieben der glockenspiel. 7. [do I need to link it? You've seen the Adidas ad. No doubt you know the song.]

6) Kanye West, "Diamonds" -- Covered but not rated. For all the general hating on the "for evah evah" bit, that remains my favorite part of the song. 7.

Sweet Jesus, spare me

You know what would be more worthwhile than this article? A full-page ad for the Remington beard trimmer. That, at least, would not use the word "clippety." Quite honestly, I'm not sure how much more I can take of the NYT culture coverage. Does this top the "man date"? That would be difficult. It is comparably nausea-inducing, tho. [bugmenot]

Throwback

Elizabeth Kolbert's first in a three-part series of articles on global warming for The New Yorker is much like the massive stuff they used to run once upon a time and don't often anymore. It is serious, but lightly written and packed with interesting details, not to mention the specter of the author trudging over ice in remote regions of the world, wearing long underwear and two pairs of gloves. Check this, for example:

Sea ice in the Arctic comes in two varieties. There is seasonal ice, which forms in the winter and then melts in the summer, and perennial ice, which persists year-round. To the untrained eye, all sea ice looks pretty much the same, but by licking it you can get a good idea of how long a particular piece has been floating around. When ice begins to form in seawater, it forces out the salt, which has no place in the crystal structure. As the ice gets thicker, the rejected salt collects in tiny pockets of brine too highly concentrated to freeze. If you suck on a piece of first-year ice, it will taste salty. Eventually, if the ice survives, these pockets of brine drain out through fine, vein-like channels, and the ice becomes fresher. Multiyear ice is so fresh that if you melt it you can drink it.

Even if you are lazy or anti-science, I would suggest you read. She is not dogmatic, but she creates a picture that needed to be put before us, even if the Simpsons, as usual did it first and more concisely.

"I'm sinking in the lake!"
"You mean, you're walking on the glacier."

Bluck

So, you know how I don't really like to pull a Jon Stewart all that often and say that things are "hurting America"? Well, Fire Mountain Grill is. Or is just symptomatic of the hurt that already exists. What does it profit a man if he pay $5.99 for all-you-can-eat at lunch only to gorge himself on cheap, chewy, horrible steak and ribs? I am not opposed to cheap food. I ate a hamburger from Wendy's last night, and it was good. But this? Chris pointed out that its location across from the Walmart was about the most appropriate thing ever. The Texas toast is good. That is it. And, brothers and sisters, it is hard to fuck up toast grilled with a shitload of butter on it.

Here is a newsflash

You are nerds.

What is worse than bringing a towel to a screening of Hitchhiker's Guide? Holding a debate about whether doing so is too nerdy. What? Are the other people in line gonna give you a wedgie if they think you're uncool? Bring your towel if you want to bring your fucking towel.

Hobbyhorse

1) Foundation didn't agree on a response yesterday. And ooh!

But the foundation meeting was less collegial, with trustees often raising their voices loudly enough to be heard from the hallway outside. At one point someone in the room yelled, "Give it up. You are not going to get rid of Mike Adams. Just give it up."

Meeting again on Tuesday. ABH article on same fronts and centers Otis Brumby's comments that they are once again violating open meetings laws ("in letter and in spirit"). R&B has editorial against this practice. AJC letter writer (last one) proposes all trying for position of public trust (e.g., foundation members) take a polygraph wrt their aims. ABH editorial suggests having multiple foundations would make us a laughingstock, goes for reality TV jokes (we'd watch it). Major props to Anne Slocumb, who asks what in the hell Adams has really done for UGA anyway? Could we maybe get one damn editorial or article that suggests this? Clearly a lot of people feel similarly, and for many, it's not based on the Dooley thing at all. How about a poll of UGA staff, for example? R&B sort of explains, from the Foundation's perspective, why they didn't sign the memo the Regents wanted them to (i.e., they were receiving conflicting information).

2) No verdict yet for Nelms.

During the trial, attorneys did not much dispute whether Nelms set the fire that caused about $17 million in damages to the library on July 23, 2003, but in closing arguments Tuesday, prosecuting and defense attorneys described entirely different reasons for the blaze.

Ahem. Isn't whether or not he really set the fire pretty crucial? And here we go. Finally.

Though UGA is self-insured for up to $3 million for fire damages, Brown suggested that the arson charge was contrived because that was the only way the university could recoup from insurance companies the balance of the $17 million in losses.

We were wondering why? This is why, contrived or not.

3) Reed says he plans to reach out to Democrats and independents in his Lieut. Gov. race.

However, not all of the 200 people who turned out to hear Reed were Republicans who support his 2006 bid for lieutenant governor.

"We wanted to see if he emanated evil," Ashley Beebe, a freshman from Snellville, said before Reed's speech. Afterwards, she added: "I don't necessarily agree with what he said, but he came across in a very well-educated manner."

So is that a yes or a no on the emanating?

4) Note: ABH takes a much better photo.

5) Mauldin plans to seek death penalty in trailer slaying case. What? So he can say he's the one who broke the streak? ACC is 0 for 9.

6) Historic district building and renovations fees went up last year; people are starting to notice, and they're annoyed (it was a big jump). If I'd been allowing people to tear down historic buildings all over the damn place, ACC, I might try to be a little more careful about my image.

7) Your gas bill's base charge won't be going up.

Instead of recognizing the company's estimates that its revenue is $24 million less than what it needs from bill payers, the PSC instead decided the company is actually making $21.9 million more than what the board feels customers should pay for.

8) Johnathan's got a letter re: the Heidi-judge controversy, but dude, even though Quick didn't phrase her objections all that well, isn't the problem that Simpson was in fact enforcing the laws as written (which is not all that clearly), and what Heidi wanted was a judge who would go beyond them?

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Police Blotter (more technical terms)

The Oconee Blotter was surprisingly lackluster this week, but we missed this little report in the regular section:

A "ruckus" ensued when a Jefferson woman told a man who came to her Lebanon Church Road home Friday that he couldn't stay there, Jackson County sheriff's deputies reported.

After the woman declined the man's request to stay, he protested, went into a bedroom and attacked a man who was sleeping, according to an incident report. After the attack, the suspect stepped outside and told the man to do the same, and he obliged - with a baseball bat in hand, deputies said.

However, the suspect struck the man in the arm with an iron rod and the victim went inside the residence, deputies said. The suspect then threw the rod and struck a glass sliding door, according to the report.

A second woman dialed 911, but the suspect pulled the telephone chord and the phone struck her in the mouth, deputies said. The suspect left the scene in a 2002 silver Acura.

Nope, not a documentary about mess cooks in Iraq

PBS's attempt at a competitive reality show, Cooking Under Fire, ain't bad. Sure, it looks like my grandma shot it with a video camera that cost about $20, but the cooking is kind of interesting and the judges are looking to reward innovation. First competition was "do something with an egg in ten minutes." This dude made a custard. Everyone else scrambled or poached or omeletted. I would say he's already got a good shot at going all the way because he has skills and creativity. A lot of the competitors think they have the latter, but haven't shown it yet. Bitching about how limited an egg is? Not the way to start off.

Hulagu

Could he defeat Galchenkos in a fight? Discuss.

You may do your research here, in Ian Frazier's NYer article about this fella, responsible for a great sack of Baghdad and Ghengis Khan's grandson. Here is a small excerpt that may pique your interest:

In battle, a historian wrote, “the Mongols made the fullest use of the terror inspired by their physique, their ugliness, and their stench.” Mongols were narrow-waisted and small-footed, with big heads. They shaved their hair short on the backs and tops of their heads and left it long at the sides. Custom forbade them from ever washing their clothes. Also contributing to their smell might have been their diet, which at certain times of the year was mainly mare’s milk. On marches when there wasn’t time to milk, Mongol riders would open a vein in their horses’ necks and drink the blood, either straight or from a pouch. Mongols were especially fond of fermented mare’s milk, called kumis. Many Mongol nobles died young from drunkenness. After victories, Mongols sometimes celebrated by drinking kumis while sitting on benches made of planks tied to the backs of their prisoners.

They also had a great postal service.

Possible explanations

1. Katie Holmes is gay as all get out. Ladies who like ladies, add another notch to your belt.

2. Scientology demands procreation. Katie's womb is young and welcoming.

3. Batman Begins opens June 15. War of the Worlds opens June 29. Together, they plan on ruling that two-week stretch like the monarchs of old.

Movie Diary (so the drama)

Epidemic: Early Von Trier, more in the vein of The Element of Crime and Zentropa than some of his more recent films and very, very slow at times, like those other two films. Howevs, ultimately worth watching, especially if you like him to begin with. You will, as usual, feel toyed with like a little mousie. And you will probably both enjoy this feeling and hate it; also, you can never tell when he's up to what. There are things you can pick out as trademarks that will show up later, most especially resemblances to The Kingdom, The Five Obstructions, and Dogville (this last pointed out by Mr. Brown, who noted that both films make you feel like an asshole for wanting what you want, but then they also give it to you). But there are also long stretches where nothing happens and it is an effort to get through. And there are bits that are quite funny (Danes apparently do that "you talkin' to me?" thing in the mirror too). I also like Von Trier himself as a personality, and he seems to be playing himself (or close enough) in this. Another thing that's perennially interesting about his work is that, despite its complexity, he often doesn't seem to think things out all that carefully, leading to impulsive decisions and weird for the sake of weird (the title of the movie remains onscreen in the upper left corner, in red--the movie itself is black and white--almost the entire time). This shouldn't work, but it often does because it leads to a playful feel; he's not being strange to impress you, but rather to amuse himself.

Know this

I have a relatively irrational hatred of Alicia Keys, but (or and?) I am directing you to Copy, Right?'s posting of this vocoder-mad cover of "Falling," which is so way better than the original to me and possibly is even if you don't dislike that song. Y'all will have to let me know on that count.

Hobbyhorse

1) Foundation meets today, basically to decide whether to turn over control of the endowment to UGA or not. i.e., Will they roll over completely, or will displeasure of some members be heard? Question is proportion of folks on either side. There are 55 members on the board, and some of them are happier than others.

"We had a good discussion about the issues that are before us," Courts said. "We are all firmly in agreement that we want to do what's best for the University of Georgia. We will take these ideas we discussed (Tuesday) to the board (today)."

Yes, but people think different things are best for the university, and some of them think the ouster of Adams would be one of those things, inclining them to make trouble. None of this is to say, of course, that the Foundation isn't equally as dildo-ish as the Regents, as Shipp makes clear. R&B has editorial telling students to care, which a) who says they don't? and b) why should they? Writing an anti-apathy editorial is about as hard as Kirstie Alley's ass, kids. Pick a new concern. AJC has an article about how there can be only one board to have real credibility, but R&B article says UVA has more than 20. Cynthia Tucker says the whole thing is hurting UGA's reputation.

2) Sometimes you do not want to be referred to as a "regular."

3) Nelms's attorney rests without a defense. I'm not sure this is such a hot idea, even if the prosecution didn't prove their case. Any legal perspectives on why he might choose not to other than "in yo face" equivalent, esp after testimony from fire expert that sounds pretty convincing (as far as fire being intentionally set, not as far as who set it)?

4) Commission and school board apparently not mad at each other any more. I kind of doubt this. Tensions will flare up again at some point.

5) ABH gives props re youth crime bill.

6) Community Protection Division and quality-of-life ordinances are part of the American Dream? Also, this dude doesn't want ACC raising water rates.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Thought that counts?

The thought is really nice, and the execution ain't bad either. But the photo from the AJC? Oy vey. You might not want to make it look like the dude on the left is groping Dooley's genitals, leading to an expression of sweet, transcendent joy on Vince's face. [bugmenot]

Dude!

1) This would be a valuable addition to my life and household.

2) But what does it bode? Has a replacement one been made? Is this one cracked or developing glaucoma? Has a member departed us? I see that Hasil Adkins has died. Perhaps it was his.

[Link found at Teaching the Indie Kids to Dance Again, which has a song from the new Sufjan Stevens up in the same post. It's got "Close to Me" all over it, which is unexpected.]

Note

There is some new stuff in the sidebar. New columns, new record reviews, my expression of mad love for Of Montreal, things like that.

Uck

I try not to fear change. And yet, sometimes change is bad. And other times, some things about it are good (or at least acceptable) and other things are bad. Which is the case with The New Yorker mucking with its format again. This is specifically in regard to the front matter, the listings of art exhibits and music acts and such. First, the movies have been moved to the middle. This is not so bad. Second, the events of interest picked out in various categories that recently started appearing at the beginning of the section have been expanded and there is a section at the end with more that will be coming up. This leaves less space for actually listing events. I know I'm not there, and I'm not going to go to any of this stuff, but I still like to read it. I've been annoyed enough with the encroachment of the "photography" section of the art listings on the "gallery" section, which includes lots of painting and sculpture, which I care more about. Third and worst, the design of these sections and also of the new highlighted bits (e.g., SFJ's popnote) is ugly. The leading is huge, leading one to think they've been stretched to fill space, space that could be used for more listings. Also, not all the highlighted bits are done the same way. There are ones on classical music and food that retain their original format (run in with the rest of the text, separated from it by bars). So it's also not consistent. It makes it messier, not sleeker, and it makes it look like your less literary magazines that screw with font sizes and layout all over the place (like Jane or something, which is not to say that Jane is bad; it's pretty good for a chick mag; it's just that it's not about the writing so much as the content and that pictures are much more important).

Movie Diary (delight)

I Heart Huckabees: Honestly, I didn't expect to like this tons, what with seriously mixed reviews and people slinging the word "pretentious" around and my mixed feelings about Russell as a director (Spanking the Monkey is dated by now, Flirting with Disaster a touch overrated, Three Kings absolutely incredible) and his whole "I'm insane" behavior surrounding the release of the film and profiles about him. There was much swirling around it. But I did; like it tons, that is. I think it's one of the best films that came out last year. I think it's beautiful and interesting and well-acted and (nervous pause) profound. I think it expresses a philosophy of life that is a good one, and it does so with a very light touch. Not everything works. I think the Naomi Watts subplot doesn't quite, and I find Jude Law not quite up to par sometimes (though at others, grimly striding through the office, his face falling, he's great). Mr. Brown thinks it's more on the level of Napoleon Dynamite, being kind of fun and funny, but unsuccessful at doing much more. And I'm not sure entirely why I disagree, but I have to. I feel it somehow deep in my heart that it does do what it sets out to and should even provide comfort to its viewers. I think the absurdist humor snaps right into discussions of being and essence and fits with the view espoused by the end that everything is connected through it all meaning nothing and that this very lack of inherent meaning requires an effort to create such in the world. I also think I could watch Jason Schwartzman in anything and that he might be the actor of his generation. He's a bit like Hoffman, really, and it's funny to watch them playing around. I don't know what else to say. Anyone?

Galchenkos!

That translates as "awesome." Not literally, but metaphorically.

Rather as with the monster truck freestyle experience, Team Brown caught ESPN's broadcast of the WJF (that's World Juggling Federation) competition on ESPN2 last night and initially mocked it before being completely sucked into the events. It helped that Penn Jillette was one of the commentators; he should be recruited into such for other (I hesitate to say) sports. Most announcers are so damn reverential, but he drops snark like it's rice at a wedding. So, partially there was much entertainment from listening to him (and his partner in analysis, whose name I don't know because he's some kind of juggling dude) rag on everyone who was not a Galchenko. And this because they are ay-maaazing. The profile linked just there contains a good bit of humor, but it is humor with grains of truth in it. This does make it sound like they're juggling robots though, and while they are perfect (they didn't drop a single club in their incredibly difficult routine), they also seem to enjoy themselves much more than robots would. Unless they were really intelligent, emotively enabled robots, which maybe they are.

They also have a webpage. Please, please, please go and click on "About Us" and then look for the link in the bottom righthand corner of the photo. I reiterate: Galchenkos = awesome.

Hobbyhorse

1) ABH catches up, headlining the story "UGA Donors Steadily Dropping."

"I have supported and worked with every (UGA) president," from Omer Aderhold to Fred Davison, Henry Stanford and Charles Knapp, Knox said. "I do not have confidence in the leadership of Michael Adams."

Giving money to UGA, Knox said, is like investing. "You want to invest with organizations that are well-led," he said.

See? Foundation will maintain what little control it has over the $475 million endowment, making things collar-tuggingly awkward. But don't worry; Adams says we'll have no problem reaching that $500 million goal from the capital campaign, and:

Adams said he still supports the Regents' decision instructing the University to cut ties with the Foundation, and even if enough donors withdrew their support, he said he would not consider resigning.

"I think when I decide to leave, it will be my decision," he said

Or, cough, your bosses'? R&B opinions editor says boot them all!

2) Bla bla. Reiteration of the fact that Meredith's not fired. We reiterate, "yet." (R&B says he should be allowed to keep his job.)

3) Rev. Jackson to organize big-ass protest in Atlanta if Voting Rights Act of '65 not renewed.

4) Perdue signed Youth Crime Bill in Athens and made bad jokes on the courthouse steps. Title of bill is worrisome, but actual legislation (Kempified, too) seems sensible and, dare I say, compassionate.

5) ABH sees moving of nonpartisan elections date as having some drawbacks, but so did the original July date.

6) Oh, snap.

7) AJC letter says Perdue and Adams both suck:

Gov. Sonny Perdue's condoning of University of Georgia President Michael Adams' strong-arm tactics and his arrogant, puppetlike Board of Regents will be an albatross around the governor's neck when re-election time rolls around.

Perdue has refused to hear the staff, alumni (60,000 strong signed a petition delivered last year to the Capitol) and the UGA Foundation regarding Adams and the board, and he continues to be a strong supporter of both. Frankly, we've had enough of Perdue, Adams, Board of Regents member Donald Leebern Jr. and Chancellor Thomas Meredith.

More of this, please.

8) Polls show public has mixed feelings on general assembly's session.

9) Article is interesting on its own, but incredibly full beard on a 17-year-old is distracting.

10) This photo essay on university employees is valuable. Maybe it should be sent out to every state representative who would oppose that measly 2 percent raise.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

This is just right

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English

30% Dixie

20% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Considering my origins. French mom, Yankee dad, born and raised in Atlanta (which is Southern, but not all that Southern compared to the areas outside it). (from Chris, who is 80% general, 10% Dixie, and 10% Yankee)

Average It Up (U.K. edition)

Holy Christ. 15 singles?

1) Rooster, "You're So Right for Me" -- The clip is more than enough to judge by. Not interesting. Weak white-boy rock that doesn't even steal properly from the Stones and the like. 2. (clips on their site)

2) Battle, "Isabelle" -- Can only hear a clip of this one as well, but this is a case where I'd like to hear more. On the other hand, I'm being told it gets worse after the first 30 seconds. But I don't know where the clip is from. I think it's kind of cute in its vaguely post-punk way, since it's pretty singy (more than chanty). Hazarding a guess at a 5. (XFM will let you hear the clip)

3) Mortiis, "Decadent and Desperate" -- The extra "i" is for "incredibly and hilariously lame." The video is kind of worth watching for amusement value (they're both singing? really? is that why the troll/doppelganger tied him up? so they could perform a duet?). The song itself is boring as hell, and this is with a dance beat, mind you. 1. (video link on their site)

4) Black Rock feat. Debra Andrews, "Bluewater" -- Meh. Generic club stuff. Not hating life while listening, but not interested at all in listening to again. 2. (video)

5) Athlete, "Half Light" -- The only thing I actually like about this is the bendy keyboard tone that isn't a very big part of the song, but I'm not sure there's anything I specifically hate about it. Not worthy of hatred. Just very sensitive and English. 3. (video here)

6) Destiny's Child, "Girl" -- covered.

7) Raw Bud vs. Roni Size ft. Sweetie Irie, "Rise Up!" -- Bleh. Mixing genres can be interesting, but is not automatically so. I don't think this works. Also, punk songs have got to be fucking unbelievably good for me to wait around for almost 4 minutes. This is not. 2. (video here)

8) The Tears, "Refugees" -- Melodrama indeed, but well done. Too much kissy-kissy in the video and an overly romantic attitude on the whole, but pretty vocals and a solid melody will take you a long way. 5. (video here)

9) Ludacris, "Number One Spot" -- Dude. I could've sworn I'd already covered this, but Blogger search finds nothing. I'm not crazy about it. Too slow. Something rubs me the wrong way about it. Luda's slipped a lot of late. 3. (video on his site)

10) Lindsay Lohan, "Over" -- Also thought I'd mentioned this. Much better than "Rumors." Great chorus and kickoff. Verse bit is a little lacking, but still it's pretty thoroughly hook-filled. I also like the way she says "ho-ver" instead of "over" occasionally. Props, LinLo. I am inclined to give this a 7, but it might only be a 6. (listen and watch here)

11) Bloc Party, "Banquet" -- So, uh, the more I hear this, the more I like it. I may still be underwhelmed on the whole, but will admit this is a fine song. Maybe the rest of their stuff is too. Fast-paced, doesn't wuss on the drums, vocals don't try to soar too much but also aren't wound too tight and inward. 8, motherfuckers. (video at NME in real)

12) Le Tigre, "After Dark" -- Have only managed to access the NDB disco remix, and have no idea how different it is from the song unvarnished. I dunno. Le Tigre never quite click with me, though they should. I think her voice just bothers me too much. They are too sharp-edged. I'm sure Chris has things to say in favor, but I think it mostly sounds like someone yelling at me over a retrelectro beat. 3. (listen to the remix here)

13) Clor, "Love + Pain" -- Covered, but not rated. 6.

14) Helen Love, "Debbie Loves Joey" -- It took some effort to locate, but is absolutely worth it. Most classic song structure, jam-packed with sounds. It moves. Too cute for some, but name-dropping might cut that a little. I can deal with cute. 7 with glimpses of higher; the instrumental bits are slightly preferred to the singing bits, but not for the fault of the singer. (mp3 here)

15) Snoop/Justin, "Signs" -- Covered, but not rated. Another 6.

He's not a calculating kind of guy

Should have linked this yesterday, when the Red & Black ran their draft day special, but I did particularly enjoy the article on Odell Thurman, specifically this bit:

He said it was the second biggest day of his life. The first: a combination of the two days when each of his two sons were born.

Dude. Fractal geometry is not required, but counting to two might come in handy sometimes.

Hobbyhorse

1) Board of Regents has not fired Meredith? Yet? AJC op-ed expresses surprise that Adams is still around ("uncanny political skills" indeed; what would lead you to believe otherwise?) and pins it all on Perdue. We also learn that Meredith is "huggable." Opposing side provided by no less than Wooten, chair of Regents:

I respectfully request that the Board of Regents be allowed to follow its policies and procedures and also adhere to state statutes protecting personnel rights. For the job he's done for Georgia, the chancellor deserves at least that, if not much more.

Ooh! That is some framing of the issue.

2) Perdue still not saying where he is on signing statewide smoking ban. Methinks he'll let the time expire and pass it automatically. He had no problem signing the Voter ID bill.

3) Ugh. We hate to say good things about Barrow and are suspicious of anything with bipartisan support, but on first look, this seems like a good bill. Ha! But he doesn't contribute to the tip jar (last item). Aw, but he does show up for jury duty.

4) Looky here. There's no evidence aside from Nelms's semi-coerced confession? No insanity defense planned.

5) Possible mayoral candidates. Also, commission acting bored, admitting it's not an election year. Signs popping up all over saying "Dump Heidi."

6) We are assured that the Regents aren't kidding wrt the Foundation this time. ABH thinks Adams shouldn't keep any old members with new Foundation, but, of course, he will. And what will be the result of all this? Chances are, funds will be lost. How much? Take a looksee. Oh, did that other headline say two? Make it six. R&B doesn't like Foundation thinking it has any clout either, points the way straight to hell in handbasket. John Knox suggests some modifications to the new version.

7) So that's, uh, two people so far who don't like festivals downtown because they lose retail money (because their shoppers can't use their feet rather than their wheels).

8) Non-partisan elections will have to be in November, rather than July, due to hidden provision in Voter ID bill.

9) Good luck filling that position.

10) Props! Thompson. Money. Mouth.

11) Shipp thinks teachers are entirely won over by sweet talk rather than results and will stick with Perdue.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Those eye clamps totally hurt too

I think the real question here isn't whether there's going to be a few vigilantes who switch off TV sets. The question is, what right do airports and bank managers have to force us to watch TV in public places?

That should be all you need to read. If you must must must see what else Adbusters editor-in-chief has to say, you can go here. I'm totally not encouraging you to throw a pie at him either, but I might point out that civil disobedience can work both ways.

Look, you douches

Progressive Democrats for America is now arguing that Dean has changed his stance on the war or something because he admits we're stuck in Iraq and hopes things go well. Does this sound like a dude who loves war?

"The president has created an enormous security problem for the United States where none existed before. But I hope the president is incredibly successful with his policy now that he's there."

This is the same argument he made throughout the campaign. This Q&A from 2004 shows that pretty clearly. e.g.,

DEAN: We can't do that. We cannot lose the peace in Iraq. This situation was created by Bush, who ignored the greater danger in Iran and North Korea and Al Qaida at home to do it. This was a mistake, this war. And the president's gotten into it, now we're going to have to get out of it. But if we leave Iraq to chaos, Al Qaida may move in, if we leave Iraq to a fundamentalist Shiite regime with Iranian influence, we will be in both circumstances worse off than we were when Saddam Hussein was president.

On the other, other hand, a quick look around PDA's website shows no accusations of flip-flopping. Am I missing it? Or did the copywriter insert that?

Average It Up (U.S. edition)

1) Howie Day, "Collide" -- Have been hearing it and mildly hating it for some weeks now, catching it, e.g., on VH1 while staying home to wait for a package and doing ironing. But should I? It's not a totally awful little nugget of calculatedly swoony cutie boy sincerity. But it's also not adventurous. If he cut a minute out (4:08? Are you kidding me?), he might reach a 4, but it goes on too long to pull more than a 3, albeit a relatively solid one. [Howiefan.com has media player with video]

2) Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc." -- It is not a "Clint Eastwood," but it has nice bass and is generally appealing. The video has got a touch of Murakami (or possibly Katsuhiro Ôtomo). It will most likely grow on me for a while, but not as much as if I had a video game system on which it streamed constantly. Um, 5? [video here]

3) Backstreet Boys, "Incomplete" -- Note to Kmart: you might want to move those seriously outdated B-Boys 8.5 x 11" framed pix back up to the front of the store and mark up again. This is huge, kind of like it could be over the credits of a Spiderman movie, but better because of their non-gravelly voices. It is a bit power ballady for me, but I lurve the piano, and the largeness is cool. I can't say for sure whether it's a bonafide comeback or not, but I can say that it should be. 6. And that is saying a lot. I may ramp it back down to a 5 tomorrow, but now I'm impressed. (launch the jukebox on their site)

4) Black-Eyed Peas, "Don't Phunk with My Heart" -- The beat, which totally has a Beatles tone to it, is good, but the melody hardly exists and the vocals are mixed way too low. I also think I may hate the video, which I usually would not; the narrative is interfering with the song. On the other hand, I'm a fan of "Where Is the Love?" so you can pretty much disregard my opinion. 4 because I like the syncopation. (linked on their site)

5) 50 Cent, "Just a Lil' Bit" -- "Big Pimpin'" meets Pete Townshend's "A Little Is Enough" should result in best evs, but you can't discount the deadening effect of Fitty. Can't you get excited about anything, dude? Has anyone written the inevitable article yet propounding that 50 Cent is the anti-Lil' Jon? Not catchy. Not interesting. Not entirely hatable either. Video is same old, same old: bikinis, ass, diamonds, drugs, narrative involving all the above. 3. (launchable from his site)

6) Ashanti, "Don't Let Them" -- Purty and bassy. Not revolutionary, but nice to listen to. Compared to Tweet, I think this is better, since Ashanti's voice has more range and depth, even when they're both doing kind of breathy and high-pitched. T-storm stuff is strange and startling. Hard to rate, as I probably wouldn't seek it out, but it's still well done. 5, to ride the middle. (watchable on Def Jam's site)

Translation, in brief

I have recently actually seen an episode again. [bugmenot]

Watch Me

Heather Havrilesky has been telling you to watch this for weeks. I am only now complying. It is, in fact, amazingly compelling. Not quite the TV parallel to Infinite Jest,* but its illustration of addiction is comparable at times. It will both make your heart hurt for these people and be incredibly good TV. This is really hard to pull off. I tend to shy away from things I think will be depressing art, but I could not flip away from this, despite the amount of pain and loneliness that is shown. It's not about gloating. It is a little about voyeurism. But it is just as much about human connection, about the real need that exists to reach out to people. And it does all this without coming off as preachy. I do not know if it's exploiting its subjects (probably) or if that exploitation is a bad thing or justified by the ends (of which there are more than one). I do know you should probably watch it. [official site here]

*What I mean here is that it's parallel in its focus on addiction, not in its own addictive quality, though both are valid readings.

Movie Diary (a warning you don't need)

Taxi: Look, I know you don't want to see this and, therefore, there's not a ton of point to warning you away from it. But in case you did, you probably don't. This is not to say it didn't contain some amusing moments, occasionally courtesy of Mr. Jimmy Fallon, who I wouldn't call myself a fan of (not that I irrationally hate him either; I'm just sort of indifferent and don't really think he's cute), but more that these amusing moments, even when combined with pretty good car chase stuff, do not make the mess of the film worth your time. I might be wanting to say here that, if this is the fella directing Fantastic Four, you might want to glance at reviews before buying your ticket. Then again, it is probably more the script at fault, since most of those moments of brief enjoyableness seem either visual or improvised. Latifah is refreshing as usual and does the best she can with her character. There is also a semi-random Jeff Gordon cameo and GQ (I've expressed my love before) has a teeny role.

Her nickname was minivan?

In case you didn't notice yesterday, there is noise about the new Kanye and a date and a song floating around that's based off "Diamonds Are Forever." It has a funny example of the bad-singing trope that is so one of the things going on in hip hop right now. And a pretty hot beat. I am not the person to ask about this really because I'm such a fan. PF might jerkily call him "completely humble," but I maintain the cocky little fuck can back it up. For evah evah.

Hobbyhorse

1) Meredith outie! And not of his own doing. Summary:

The development caps a tumultuous 12 months for Meredith, in which he clashed with Gov. Sonny Perdue over University System funding and angered some regents by seeking other employment because they were tardy with his supplemental pay. For months, regents have privately expressed concerns about Meredith's leadership and ability to move the system forward.

Seems more about the looking elsewhere and pay disputes, but importance of his suggestion to raise tuition when Perdue didn't like it probably can't be overlooked. You know what's more embarrassing than your university system head looking around for a new job? Firing a dude who's still getting over injuries from a really serious car crash. Round of applause. Also:

Should Meredith leave he would still be eligible to receive 90 percent of his current $294,000 state salary for one year and 60 percent the second year, under a University System policy that allows chancellors and presidents to stay on the payroll as consultants. Portch has received about $450,000 from the system since he left in 2001. State legislators were outraged when they learned of the policy last year, but it has not been changed.

I think that last sentence could sum up a lot of state government.

2) So that dissolving the Foundation and forming a new one thing? Already paying off big-time. Howevs, this time the Regents made sure to get the UGA trademark. ABH says Regents are taking a step in the right direction but not going far enough, refers to the Foundation "kick[ing]" Adams around. Well, who's still on the scene and who's not? That might provide a clue as to whose foot was doing the kicking. R&B has reactions from administrators and faculty members, who sound pretty clueless. New foundation to be more streamlined and aggressive about development, according to Adams.

Earlier in the day, Adams held a closed meeting in the Georgia Center for Continuing Education with about 90 University administrators, academic heads, development officers and student leaders.

The meeting was closed because it was not a policy making body, said Steve Bell, a University spokesman.

And, uh, "because we can. Nanny nanny boo boo."

3) Judge in Nelms trial denies request for mistrial. This sucks though:

In testimony Wednesday, Williamson admitted he used deception while interviewing Nelms because everything pointed toward him as the likely suspect, and the law allows officers to lie to exact confessions during questioning.

Reason for mistrial makes one understand why it was denied, though. Supposedly requested on basis of new evidence, but to my mind, it's evidence that could very well help the defense.

4) No plans to honor Dooley with ridiculous legislation in 06. Yet.

5) Haines trial coming up. Why is Gwinnett County Solicitor involved?

6) Water and sewer rates indeed to go up, by 5%. No further specifics on what exactly funds will go to. Jordan not happy with speedy pace bc public doesn't understand what they're doing.

7) Drop/add officially back to four days for most students.

Some council members said the new policy was necessitated by student abuses of the system and claimed some students use the drop/add period to "shop for classes."

How dare they be allowed to get some idea of what a course is like before having to be committed to it!

8) This headline is really striking me funny. Ah, the sweet breeze of diversity.

9) Adams doesn't dirty himself with talking to a student-run newspaper.

10) Out-of-state student points out that R&B does not generally give much credence to the woes her kind suffers from tuition increases, since theirs are not covered by HOPE.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Meme

5 things I hate that everyone else loves (passed on via email from JD, who hates Led Zeppelin, roses, golden retrievers, the novels of Barbara Kingsolver, and Easter):

1. Bananas, except when mentioned in songs by Gwen Stefani. Nature can keep its so-called "perfect food."

2. Birds.

3. The movie of The Neverending Story.

4. The Patriots (sooo tired of it)

5. Milk. Icky!

It would be much easier, though, for me to make a list of a million things I love that everyone else hates.

Excuses, excuses + OSIS (NYC)

Kids, I am busy and tired and only got into work a little while ago. I have things that need doing. Therefore, posting will be light to nonexistent. Here is this sighting to comfort you in your hour of need:

will oldham outside the bowery ballroom last night--i didn't go to the show, but was walking past with a friend as the first set was letting out. he was hanging out on the sidewalk, so we went up and shook his hand. he seemed frazzled and has gained some weight.

Dressed (upon further inquiry), not in short shorts, but in snug clamdiggers. And I quote, "ew."

This is the part you want to read

The rest of RS's Weezer article can be ignored.

He started to volunteer six days a week at Project Angel Food, a meal-distribution service for people who are HIV-positive. He made apologies, either in letters, in person or over the phone, to about thirty people he felt he had wronged. He fasted. He was sickened by his previous sexual behavior, the meaningless relationships, the visits to massage parlors, the casual sex with groupies, thirty or forty of them, and sometimes more than one at a time. He had been in love only twice, the last time at age twenty -- what had he been doing for the past fifteen years? One day he knelt on the floor, put his hands together at his chest and said three times, "I will not engage in sexual activity for the next two years." He had some nighttime accidents, but he got used to it. Fantasies occurred less frequently and "that part of my mind and body was shriveling from lack of use," he wrote.

Rock and fuckin' roll, man.

Hobbyhorse

1) Regents direct Adams to sever ties with Foundation.

Though Adams said he supports the regents, he also said he regrets that such drastic action had to be taken.

Regents instructed Adams to begin work to create a new private organization that will serve the same purpose as the UGA Foundation, he said.

Foundation, hilariously, says they will comply. You mean y'all'll allow yourselves to be made irrelevant? How noble of you. Wyck Knox, a Foundation board member, doesn't understand. Lemme explain it you, Wyck: anyone who questions the power of Adams or the Board of Regents gets taken out. R&B thinks the squabbling is embarrassing.

2) In other news, nothing happened at Clarke Central the other day. Good thing they didn't have to break out the useless eleventy-billion-dollar bomb fighting robot.

School administrators said they hadn't heard the version of the rumor that included a racial dispute. There had been a rumor that someone wrote a message in one of the boys' bathrooms that he would be "coming after everybody" on a certain date, but school officials checked every bathroom in the building, both boys' and girls', and found no message nor any indication that one was written and erased, Wooten said.

ABH thinks the school did a pretty good job handling it.

3) Gas prices also affect school buses.

4) Nelms update: UGA police chief talking about God an awful lot. Also ass. R&B covers too, but less extensively.

5) Commission so busy it can't prepare a sentence or two summary of issues to be discussed.

6) SAT officially no longer required for 2-year colleges. The change also could boost Georgia's standings nationally because fewer future junior college attendees will be taking it.

7) Dude, I have a feeling the sentiments expressed by Stephanie Matthews in this R&B article on how the lottery's doing well are representative of a lot of campus:

"I'm tired of giving people money; they need to give me some," said Matthews, a freshman from Griffin, who said she spent $500 on textbooks last semester.

You mean like that HOPE scholarship you apparently have?

8) Op-ed on Sharpton says his speech was just an angry rant. You were expecting?

9) Richt suspends White for two games, Golston for one. There will be "internal discipline" as well.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Not even Eva Braun's? 

Smiley smile

Woo! Season 3 of Dallas out August 9. I appear to be stuck in that early stage of infant development, where if someone smiles at me, I smile right back, reflecting their expression. J.R. is a particularly smiley dude, and this might be one reason I am such a fan of his. Did I mention I totally dig this show? I totally do. It's not just camp appreciation, because the acting is often excellent.

Reasons I might not love America

This is the first of many, no doubt. Now, it does demonstrate ingenuity on the cheap, but I will be damned if I ever have one of these in my house. My hypothetical child will eat the crusts of its sandwich rather than throwing the most nutritious part of the bread away. And if it doesn't want to, it can cleverly remove them itself in a more labor-intensive way that teaches it something. Do other countries cut the crusts off?

What is "rapidly approaching psychosis," Alex?

The state I (and my officemates) are in right now due to only occasionally interrupted whine of what could be a saw but is more likely some kind of power sander going right over our heads, like a giant, angry stingy thing of some sort. For a building as unbelievably dated as it is in many ways, we sure undergo a lot of renovation that doesn't seem to lead to much. At least I don't have a mysterious substance drifting out of my air-conditioning vent. Yet...

Update: It's a planer. So they say.

No Ann Coulter? I am outraged

Discovery decides to annoy everyone in the country with its special on the 100 greatest Americans (nominees at the link). In some ways, it's lovely that both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates can make the list, both Ellen DeGeneres and Rush Limbaugh, both JFK and Richard Nixon (!!!). But dollars to donuts Reagan beats Mark Twain in the final rankings.

My favorite sentence in the press release? "Tide Coldwater is a proud partner of GREATEST AMERICAN." Nothing says America like carefully washing your clothes in cold water so the colors don't fade and the fabric doesn't shrink. Take that, other countries! [via]

No, there are a million of you

Yelladog is talking about patriotism and being a leftist and how they can be combined. I direct eyes to my previous post on the subject, slightly incoherent as it may be, and answer this now:

What keeps us here? What's so great about America?

The mistake here is equating staying put with choosing something actively because it's awesome. There are lots of people who move to America, and I'm sure they can provide you with reasons they did. But don't ask me why I choose to stay. Why do I choose to do things in the easy way rather than the best way most of the time? Why do most of us? Because I'm fucking lazy and I don't make a lot of money. This is much closer to the truth than me saying wonderful things about democracy, which is, of course, great, but exists in a lot of places these days.

Hobbyhorse

1) In addition to your gas and electric bills going up and the new stormwater utility fee, the commission is also discussing hiking water bills:

Duck recommended the lowest increase, an average of 4.9 percent a year over the next six years. That plan would raise the average residential bill of about $36 by $1.80 a month, he said.

Needed in order to build new sewer lines. Like the ones that got voted down just a week or so ago? I don't mind paying a little more (my water bill's never been more than $15 a month), but I'd like to know if these are new sewer lines to replace old ones (more necessary) or new ones to accommodate development.

2) Tuition increase of 8 percent for research institutions (including UGA), 5 percent for other state colleges and universities approved. New Tate fees also approved. Other fees have gone up a bit as well. AJC mentions that some students might feel squeezed. Note crucial last sentence:

Mandy Chamblee, a freshman at Armstrong Atlantic State University in Savannah, said the additional $116 a year could strain her budget. Chamblee, from Pooler, has some scholarship money and works 19 hours a week on campus to help pay for her education and living expenses. She said the books required for four classes last semester cost more than $500.

"Even though the prices go up, grants and scholarships don't go up," she said.

HOPE scholarships, however, will rise to cover the tuition increases.

3) Nelms's lawyer contends his videotaped confession was coerced.

While cross-examining Williamson's predecessor on Tuesday, Brown hammered his contention that Nelms' alleged admissions were made under duress because he believed he was in custody. "Of course, he was free to leave?" Brown asked Horton.

"I don't believe he was under arrest," he relied. "But he wasn't free to leave?" the defense attorney said. "He was not under arrest," the retired chief said.

I don't believe? Lots of interesting details. R&B also covers.

4) Anti-spam and anti-meth ingredients bills signed into law. The time you save deleting penis emails can now be diverted to waiting for the pharmacist to get your Sudafed from behind the counter.

5) ABH encourages you to doublecheck those stormwater sample bills.

6) Shipp points to unsettling signs in Georgia economy. Also this bit:

Georgia has the least influential congressional delegation in its modern history. Georgia ranks 49th among the states in per-capita federal funding of local projects. It once ranked near the top.

7) Important correction. Heard voted against Voter ID bill.

8) R&B reminds you not to be an idiot wrt walking alone and drunk at night. Good timing, what with "Take Back the Night" coming up. Here's guessing they get at least one letter defending the rights of students to live in what they wish the world was like rather than what it is.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

HHBTM

One year as of yesterday. The obligatory thing to say is that one can't believe it's been a year, but I feel rather the opposite. I have always been here, haven't I? Would provide total # of words and posts, but Blogger stopped counting at some point in November, when I hit 110K and 613 posts. Would estimate maybe 200K words by now? I am large. I contain multitudes. Not only omniscient, but omnipresent and existing outside of time.

Police Blotter (speed and amazement edition)

This is remarkable for one thing only:

Arrest: On April 17, Deputy Laura Teet was running radar on Ga. Highway 316 when she clocked a Volkswagen Beetle going 81 mph. The driver, Jessica Nicole Duncan, 22, at first denied drinking, despite the smell of alcohol, then said she had had a few drinks. Duncan, of Cherokee Avenue, Athens, was charged with DUI and speeding.

We didn't know a Beetle could go 81 mph.

This is some weird vandalism:

Damage: On April 17, a Farmington man reported he left his Ford pickup parked in front of Pappa John's off Experiment Station Road and someone put pine straw on the hood and took the tailgate off.

And so is this:

Damage: On April 11, a resident of Overlook Ridge reported he went outside his home and his American flag was lying on the ground. A piece was cut off and some profanities were written on it.

This strikes one as excess:

Drugs: On April 12, a man developing some property on a frontage road near the Athens Perimeter called deputies to report he had found some buckets containing marijuana plants while he was surveying the land. Deputy Brad Williams arrived and counted 12 plants. A helicopter was called in to check the area from air, but no more plants were found. The marijuana was destroyed.

All the rest here.

WNEG, we are so in a fight

Short story made really short: We have a choice of two CBSes. I chose the wrong one to tape The Amazing Race and discovered, on arriving home, that it cut out completely about 15 minutes into last night's episode. I see, however, that it mostly would have just pissed me off. I have one team left. They have proved 1) that they are decent people, but also 2) that they are not pussies when it comes to head-shaving (apparently). Chances are I will end up annoyed as Uchenna & Joyce most likely will end up in third place on the final mat, while Ron & Kelly squeak it out over Ramber in the last leg, due to some strange turn of luck. That is my realistic but not worst-case prediction.

This too shall pass

But for now, I am kinda freaked by Cowboy Troy and his single. Do I mention enough how that rumored ancient Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times" is not only true of the now but kind of mixed as a curse, in that they are at least interesting? He does kind of suck. But then. My neurons are exploding. I honestly can't tell whether I like this in a "Hollaback Girl" kind of way or in an "America We Stand as One" way. It is at least worth listening to. (Al ahead of the curve as usual.)

Damn you, Brendan Benson

I should like you. I should have things to say about your record. And all I can do is keep going back to the Of Montreal Polyvinyl site and listening to their songs instead. One could say this is their fault or mine, but I prefer to blame it on you for now.

Let me check my calendar

Oh, wait. I have some free time May 24 to devote to two solid hours of vomiting after all.

Hobbyhorse

1) Good luck next time, future of the Catholic Church and non-white dudes. If there is one.

2) Homeless dude liked fires. Again, what is the point of all this? Make him write "I love libraries" 100 times on a whiteboard, put him on probation, and find him a job.

3) Everybody. Slow the fuck down.

4) Oh, snap! Sharpton dropped Mary J. Blige/Osama jokes.

5) Georgia Power wants to raise your bills.

6) ABH is sorta skeptical about raising tuition or at least understands why others are. I mean, students shouldn't have to pay for college, right? It gets its money from the leprechauns who live at the end of the rainbow. Regents voting today. R&B editorial asks them to think about some things, also addresses Louis Williams.

7) Letters page of ABH has been crammed with pro-bike screeds. Possible interesting development to result about which no further for now.

8) Suggestions for upping attendance at "Open Mic with Mike."

9) R&B continues to harrass Richt about a public response to arrests.

[bugmenot ABH]

I can't (can I?)

Please, Lord. Don't make me go to Dragon*Con. Why must you tempt me with such?

Um...

That and the Lard Lad's still after him.

Questions answered, wonder provoked

Two things from Ian Parker's article on photographer Sebastiao Salgado in the travel issue of the New Yorker (not online):

1) His (Salgado's) project is called "Genesis," and yet Parker professes not to know why Salgado aims to show the earth as it was 4,000 years ago rather than 40,000 years ago. A quick google shows that 4,000 is a lot closer to the Biblical presentation of Genesis than 40,000 would be. It is strange that he wouldn't know this.

2) On the other hand, it contains this marvelous sentence, the likes of which I have never seen before (nor imagined to exist): "Salgado inched among them, as infant albatrosses spilled orange vomit onto his new boots." Bravo, English language. You win again.

Average It Up (U.K. edition)

1) The Rakes, "Retreat" -- Normally am crankier about such, but must be cheerful this a.m., as this little post-punk by-the-numbers number isn't bugging me at all. The beat is pretty good, and while it's not melodic, it's not aggressively anti-so. Would be better if it were less than two minutes, but manages to pull a good-natured 4. (video streaming here)

2) Ja Rule feat. Lloyd and Alexus, "Caught Up" -- I'm sure it was unavoidable, but it's really not a good idea to release a song called "Caught Up" when there's already one out there, and one that's considerably better. I like the sound of Ja's voice, and it's not that it couldn't go with a soft soul-inflected backing track, but there's something that's not working here. The pieces aren't clicking and they're not interestingly not clicking either. Video is full of pool, pools, bikinis, and making out. Meh. 2. (watchable at Teen UK with registration)

3) Bodyrockers, "I Like the Way" -- See. I so do not like every dancy club song. Because I don't like this one. For one thing, it has the same problem as the previous, in that there's already a good song called such. For another, the vocals are mixed way too high in relation to the beat. Let me hear the damn bass. I do not want to dance. I just want it to be over. 1. (Register to watch here)

4) NIN, "Hand That Feeds" -- Already covered in U.S. edition.

5) Hard-Fi, "Tied up Too Tight" -- Mike's kinda right. It does take way too long to get going, but I think the chorus is not horrible. I mean, it's full of "na na na na"s. I think they're disaffected, but, dude, Avril does it so much better. It also has no ending; it just does. 2. (viddy here on their site)

6) Editors, "Munich" -- Again, Mike hates this. I don't, but I'll admit it's not very interesting. At least his voice is nice. I generally couldn't care less about who can "sing" and who can't, but sometimes it's pleasant to listen to someone who can a bit. And the guitar almost turns into a keyboard. 3. (video here if you click on "latest videos")

7) Chemical Brothers feat. Kele Okereke, "Believe" -- Song is mediocre. Video is incredible. Former merely a vehicle for latter, which is sorta 28 Days Later meets Maximum Overdrive. Song = 2; video = 8. (watchable at their site; click "music + video")

8) Kim-Lian, "Teenage Superstar" -- I think I really can't judge, since I haven't been able to find more than 30 seconds of the song, and that intermittently streaming on her site. Arr. If you want to be a huge international pop star, you might want to let people hear your hit single. Anyway. Sounds pretty good in very shiny pop way; perhaps a bit Disney Channel and well-scrubbed, like the Duff sistas cover of "Our Lips Are Sealed." Hard to tell. No rating. (here's her site, if you're curious) Update: Kindly emailed to me so I could hear the whole thing. And it is a bit better than I thought, but still a lil' Radio Disney. Sort of early Lohan. Good production, but not good enough to win my heart completely. I think a 5 is pretty fair.

9) Tegan & Sara, "Walking with a Ghost" -- Ooh. Weird. Everyone is right in that it doesn't go anywhere, but turns around in an autistic circle, but it's oddly hooky and I like the vocals a lot. Too cute? Nah. We call this faux minimalist, and we like it. 6. (available on Launch)

10) The Caesars, "Jerk It Out" -- Ah, the iPod song that's so "Can't Get Enough of You Baby." Maybe vibrates back and forth much too much between bits I like and bits I don't. Tailormade for the ads. Cannot help being slightly biased against those damn silhouettes. 3. (video here)

Mix

Mezzy directed me to Scenestars for the new White Stripes single, and I hereby direct you. Interesting, indeed, though not as much of a shocker as "There's No Home for You Here" was when that leaked out. I'm not crazy about this particular vocal range, because I think he's pushing it a little, but that's more personal taste than thinking it's bad. Drums are big and thumpy, and Meg does her cymbal thing (which I really like). Guitar riff is simple but good. Could go more places, but I think is not bad and provokes curiosity as to what's next. Much buzzing about what the whooshing noises are and suggestions of digital sounds being involved. I would doubt it. I'd think rather it's something carefully recreated through analog means to sound digital, the same way the guitar on "Seven Nation Army" was lowered to sound like bass. The man is pretty good about sticking to his rules and amusing himself at the same time. [Sidebar: This is a marvelous lead-in to "Blah Blah Blah," which happened to follow it in my computer's queue.]

I am sure not literally. Nonetheless, I like this combo of hypothetical apron and rifle.

Chipper Jones Trades in Atlanta Braves Uniform for Apron on Turner South's Original Series OFF THE MENU

Turner South, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc.'s regional entertainment network, takes renowned Atlanta Braves player Chipper Jones on an outdoor and cooking adventure during a special episode of its original series OFF THE MENU, airing Tuesday, May 10, at 8 p.m. ET. Jones removes his cleats and puts on an apron and camouflage to literally "catch it and cook it" with Turner South.

OFF THE MENU travels to Jones' Double Dime Ranch in Carrizo Springs, Texas, for a glimpse of the athlete out of his element, with a shooting rifle and wooden spoon in hand rather than a baseball bat. The episode begins with a hunting segment for white tail deer, with Jones; Tory McPhail, host of OFF THE MENU and executive chef at Commander's Palace in New Orleans, La.; and Danny Trace, sous chef at Commander's Palace.

After a day in the wilderness, McPhail teaches Jones how to transform what they've caught into a five-star -quality meal, Texas venison chili. Next, it's into the kitchen with McPhail as he shows viewers how to prepare additional game dishes, such as a seared venison salad and venison bourguignon, a warm hearty dish to make at home or at the camp.

Hobbyhorse

1) Library arson trial on the verge of beginning. Seems like it will drag the fuck on and end in what? An aquittal? Are they going to make this homeless guy pay damages? Because I don't think he has the funds.

2) Eastside to get some sidewalks? Holla.

3) State health benefit plan to penalize smokers, spouses. You want some ire? I'll give you some ire. How about the fact that this further penalizes staff, who have endured ridiculous increases in premiums already, often not covered by pitiful cost-of-living increases in salary? How about the fact that fat people aren't being penalized? How about I call bullshit on this rinky-dink cost-cutting crap that will affect the poor disproportionately, as usual, when the state is reporting strong increases in tax collection?

4) Giese on bench. No difference yet.

In trials Thursday, Giese was no stricter than Simpson had been. She approved two plea bargains and found a local man not guilty of violating a junk-car ordinance.

Well, that was clearly worth pissing everyone off over. Commission is considering creating a special court for ordinance violations, one even more under their collective thumb. You mean one that has no standard of proof?

5) "Impact of State Smoking Ban Unclear" reads headline. Might that be because it hasn't been signed into law yet, much less taken effect?

6) Un. Believable. State legislators no comprende university budget necessities. This bit isn't even a quote, just part of the article: "Ironically, the more taxpayers put into college spending, the more tuition goes up." Percentage-wise, bitch? "Fully funded" does not mean "put back all the money they stripped out, leaving many parts of the university crippled." It mostly means they didn't cut more. In other news, Regents to meet on just such.

7) Don tells the douches complaining about Twilight Criterium to shove it. In a manner of speaking.

8) ABH: likes stoplight cameras, Athens as a place to live. Jason sez surprise (esp pleasant such) is hard to fake.

9) Shipp says 06 will be a referendum on Perdue more than anything.

10) Dang. It really doesn't look good all summarized like that.

11) Drop/add period to be shortened again. For god's sake, aren't there more important things the University Council could be discussing? R&B opposes (so does SGA).

12) Look, it's bad enough to have Flagpole and the ABH snipping at each other. Is it also necessary to have the R&B get in on the act? Everything mentioned is an editorial, written by locals. Just because you disagree with it (and I often do) doesn't mean it's Morris-dictated or anti-Athens.

13) Sharpton speech sold out.

[bugmenot ABH]

Separated at birth?

Or, at least, similar enough to feel creepy to me.

Numero uno.

Numero dos.

We might need to have a talk

Hi. Danny? I am normally the most forgiving person ever when it comes to fellas who wear the tomahawk across their chests. Really, you can ask anyone. And I know people have strings of bad luck. But you have to do a little something to earn my goodwill. And, frankly, it really hasn't happened yet. For a non-strikeout pitcher, you do appear to be too concerned with not letting people hit the ball at all, and this has been leading to walks. We don't like those. Listen to Leo. Fix what's wrong.

Yeah you know me

 So, thankfully, the OTC show ended up not being a disaster or (mostly) boring. Am confirmed in opinion of Elf Power (big meh), though am told it was not one of their better appearances of late. As far as OTC themselves are concerned, they were good, but overstayed their welcome. By the time it was 2 a.m. and they were finally going off stage, I was hoping an encore would not happen. It did, of course. But let this be said, disagreement no doubt forthcoming from everyone who was there: The Of Montreal show was better by millions of whatever units one measures greatness and enjoyment in. Kevin Barnes is a rock star. These guys are merely interesting musicians. And they've maintained that. They just happen to be more of a studio band. On a recording, you can hear all the little tweaks and hisses and cuteness. Live, you merely get irritated when they take five minutes between songs to retune every instrument on the stage. And again, it's not that they weren't good. It's just that their one-time little sibling has blown past them.

Movie Diary

Have really been so caught up in Dallas that movies have been less a priority, but at long last made time for Infernal Affairs this weekend (it had been sitting on top of the TV, borrowed from a friend and not gotten to) and can confirm it was worth it. Consider brain thoroughly exercised. It only about an hour and 40 minutes long, but when one has to pause it every ten minutes and have a discussion about "that's that guy again, and he's pretending to be this but really he's this pretending to be this, and this is what he really meant by that" it does tend to take a bit longer. Looks gorgeous (tip of the hat to Mr. Chris Doyle). Fine acting. Tony Leung and Andy Lau manage to prowl around one another like big cats without hardly even being in the same room together. Love stuff with layers of double-crossing and conflicting loyalties. End maybe goes a teeny bit long, but am enthusiastic about seeing the two sequels.

Like this, except when not

Maximalist fiction. It consists of books that are really big. Except when they're not. Or really strange and postmodern. Except when they're not. Or full of typographical trickery. Except, you know. Maximalist fiction--fiction to the extreme of whatever we want it to be. [bugmenot NYT]

Million dollar idea

As I was walking on campus a couple of days ago, I noticed this girl with a sweatshirt on that said "Property of Pope" and then, underneath that, presumably, something like "High School Athletic Department," but dude, if I went there, I'd be getting my hands on as much gear to ebay as possible. "Property of Pope" is second only to the inevitable "I fucked the Pope" t-shirts in terms of slogan popularity. I'm giving this one away.

Hobbyhorse

1) Red light cameras catching violators in Athens. I am a defender of civil liberties in most cases, but much less so when it comes to traffic. They seem to be enforcing it fairly enough.

2) If Public Works is allowed to hire two more erosion inspectors, the state EPD will back off its threats to take away enforcement privileges. Source of funding unclear.

3) HOPE healthy. Automatic cuts may not go into effect. Taylor points out that tuition may yet go up.

4) More on repaving, with details on how counties decide what gets repaved and when.

5) Block scheduling doesn't affect test scores positively, which we all know means those children aren't getting edumacated.

6) University Council considering extending "soft benefits" to domestic partners, i.e., use of university facilities. Less actually useful (doesn't include health benefits); more symbolic. Howevs,

Once the council approves the proposal, UGA President Michael Adams said he would seek state guidance about the issue.

Adams sought state guidance three years ago when the University Council approved a proposal to allow full benefits for domestic partners and add sexual orientation to the university's non-discrimination policy, and again sought guidance last year when the council reapproved the amendment to the non-discrimination policy. He said he has not received feedback.

"The university's position has always been that we don't want to get ahead of state law" on any issue, said Tom Jackson, associate vice president for public affairs.

i.e., It'll probably die once the Council passes it. Pathetic.

7) Cancer, cancer, bla bla. Relay for Life all well and good, but the paperclip story has a disturbing detail.

8) ABH just hates bicycles. Clearly. I'm not a huge fan of them myself, but acting like you can't ride one when it's hot, cold, or raining is a bit ridiculous. Ever hear of rain pants, yo? Impossibly uncomfortable? You know, it's pretty cold or hot or rainy waiting at my bus stop too. Nor does it have a shelter. But I'm not a whiny little bitch spoiled by the wonders of automobile traffic. Bicycles are a valid form of alternative transportation. They're just less valid than public transit because fewer people use them. Therefore, less public moneys.

9) Where your taxes are going, hour by hour.

10) Guest forum thingie from Farmers Hardware owner arguing that the bond subsidy for Lowe's in particular is a waste of money and harmful to local businesses.

11) Letter writer makes the case that, although Athens apparently meets EPA air requirements, particulate matter data have not decreased from 2003 to 2004. Implying that it's the regulations that have decreased, presumably.

12) UGA baseball team's theme songs, player by player. Props to Bo Lanier for weirdness.

13) R&B rightfully creeped out by National Education Database.

14) Can I get a hoo? How about a ha?

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Average It Up (U.S. edition)

1) Weezer, "Beverly Hills" -- Not bad. Not heights of Weezer, a la first two albums, since it's more like "Undone" than their really harmony-heavy stuff, but also better than stuff of late, which has been boring. This at least is competent, kinda riffy and chunky with the guitar, decent chorus. Video is painful and therefore interesting. What's the demographic? What're they going for? People who like both Hugh Hefner and Weezer but understand that one is "cool" and the other is not and that incongruity is funny? Because it's too obvious to be funny. Repeated shots of monkeys in cage being fed treats suggest the band does, in fact, know what they're up to. 4. [video and audio here]

2) Baby Bash feat. Akon, "Baby, I'm Back" -- So already covered. 6, like everyone. May crawl up to a 7 in a month. I kind of want to give it one now, but am restraining self. No, no. I can't. 7.

3) Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl" -- Ditto. 8. I want to give it a 9, but part of me doesn't. This shit is bananas, but it could be even more so.

4) Pitbull feat. Lil' Jon, "Toma" -- Love the beat (low tom sounds, faster beat on top of that, thumb piano-toned higher melody) and the pacing, but find it a little uninspiring on the whole. Not bananas enough? Very danceable though. Will compromise at a 5. (listen/watch here; video is also unexciting, with exception of Fastlane-esque sunglasses Pitbull wears)

5) System of a Down, "B.Y.O.B." -- Oy. This is all stuff I've already been listening to. I even went and registered at some site to hear this two weeks ago, leading to emails from System of a Down in my inbox. Will admit I prefer it to most of this metally stuff, esp the weird proggy R.H.C.P. chorus(?) and the "la la la"s. Still cannot see myself listening to it on a regular basis, perhaps because of the amount o seriousness. 5. (MTV has it)

6) 112 feat. Foxy Brown, "U Already Know" -- Everybody says "twinkle" and twinkle it does. Love the track. Love the dance moves. Along with Anthony, prefer the original, which is cleaner. Love, most of all, repetition of "don't ax no questions." Damn it all, I have a weakness for R&B. You could write R. Kelly about it to complain, but Mr. Brown no doubt remembers me making him take me to buy the cassingle of Montell's "This Is How We Do It" years ago, before we were even bonded in wedlock. This almost provides everything I need in a song of this sort. 7. (original on their site)

It's no fried funk, but...

I like the dance in this Clor video. The song itself is passable, but the dance (the one with the arm swinging) seems designed for people who would like to dance but know that it usually requires coordination. This much less so.

Why is food an art form?

After they had stood for a moment in prayer, Father Joseph lifted the cover and ladled the soup into the plates, a dark onion soup with croutons. The Bishop tasted it critically and smiled at his companion. After the spoon had travelled to his lips a few times, he put it down and leaning back in his chair remarked,

"Think of it, Blanchet; in all this vast country between the Mississippi and the Pacific Ocean, there is probably not another human being who could make a soup like this."

"Not unless he is a Frenchman," said Father Joseph. He had tucked a napkin over the front of his cassock and was losing no time in reflection.

"I am not deprecating your individual talent, Joseph," the Bishop continued, "but, when one thinks of it, a soup like this is not the work of one man. It is the result of a constantly refined tradition. There are nearly a thousand years of history in this soup." [fr. Death Comes for the Archbishop]

Betta late than never

This mash-up was something just waiting to happen, and it is quite the greatness. The Day Jobs have it linked, but if you're not a regular visitor there, I am directing you to listen as well.

Hobbyhorse

1) Gentrification continues its march. More damn "luxury condos" to be built, Jamaica Mi Crazy to be offered space in the new building but temporarily pushed out. Suck. Ass. Is there no middle ground between crackhouse and horrible yuppie farm?

2) Madison County not a fan of Athens's request for bike lanes, which aren't going to happen real soon anyway. Letter proposes tags for bikes, which makes a little sense, considering the amount spent on adding lanes. Pretty hard to enforce though.

3) ABH rightly criticizes Meredith for his way around open-records laws wrt tuition. Damn straight. There is not only a pattern of secrecy in the legislature, there is clearly one in the University System, and that ain't right.

4) Yarbrough thinks Eric Rudolph should "rot in hell," kind of surprisingly; quotes Dickens.

5) One letter writer demonstrates why the voter ID bill will pass: because people don't understand the problem with it. i.e., I overcame such and such; why can't you?

6) World Grits Festival to feature Marc Summers as host of main event?

7) Girl makes faces, wears fun tops. Slow news day?

8) University fundraising report. It's up in general, down in athletics, and not really affecting the budget much, apparently.

9) More discussion of what the university's already doing to manage stormwater.

10) Headline suggests so much; article delivers so little. Shirts and boxers? Tell me why I should even bother to spectate if there is no flesh involved.

11) No new info in tuition increase article. Op-ed grudgingly supports it but suggests that maybe the amount of tuition HOPE covers should be reduced, percentage-wise, so as not to empty the coffers. You know, I'm getting hoarse over here saying those two little words over and over again: "income cap."

12) See? Hoo-ha.

[bugmenot ABH]

Pop Quiz

Which of the following is referred to in the ABH today as "one of the great films of all time"?

• The Corporation
• Night of the Hunter
• Turbonegro: The Movie
• The Muppet Movie
• Incident at Loch Ness

If you think it's the one that's an actual classic, you are as naive as I am.

Ittibittman?

This article by Mark Bittman illustrates that he does not know something my mother does (or at least doesn't feel like emphasizing it), something that she told me a long time ago and that I've seen reinforced many times. Setting up an argument between home cooking and fine dining is retarded when you use home execution of fine dining to make your point. Chefs really shouldn't even bother to write recipes. They're bad at it. They don't know how to reduce proportions correctly or translate cooking methods to the home kitchen. Home cooking and restaurant cooking are entirely different animals, sort of like the difference between someone who is merely stylish and a couture designer. They both get the job done, and they might both look really great; in many situations, you might prefer the homemade style. But this does not change that they are fundamentally not the same. One is primarily focused on sustenance, the other on aesthetic experience. You are not really meant to be able to recreate it. And why would you anyway?

My main point was this: Like almost everything else in life, cooking has a cost-benefit component. When I cooked with Daniel Boulud, he took apart a lamb and cooked it four different ways. He used exotic ingredients galore, ones that would take you days to find, but that he pulled (or had pulled) from the pantry or walk-in. He had several assistants, hours of preparation, the best equipment money can buy and 35 years of experience in the world's best professional kitchens. His dishes took him all morning and filled a platter the size of a table. He then proceeded to laugh as I assembled my stuffed lamb shoulder in 10 minutes, threw it in the oven and went out for coffee.

I'm not saying that you'd be as happy paying $35 for my roasted stuffed lamb shoulder as you would for Daniel's boned, stuffed and tied saddle. As he said when I served him a piece of lamb on a small plate, "The complexity of your recipe is directly proportional to the size of this dish." But I am saying that you would probably be happy eating either. And in this as in just about every other case featured in the TV series and book, my dish was faster and required less work, no assistants and fewer ingredients.

Yes, but... In one case Daniel Bouloud is doing the work, and in the other case I am. Just because the end level of happiness might be comparable does not make the dishes necessarily so. I am happy eating a Snickers bar, and I am happy eating tiny, complex dishes that took months to work out and contain combinations of flavors I have never had before. This does not mean they are the same thing. It means there is plenty of room for both in life, but it devalues the artistry of the latter to place them on the same plane. Bittman does get this to some extent, but on the whole, the piece comes off as reflexively anti-snob, symptomatic of the drift away from food of the NY Times section as a whole. [bugmenot]

Appended: It's sort of a nicer version of the Stossel thing discussed here.

Really?

Not only is this the best google search to find this page in a while, it definitely does make one wonder.

It's not just the look, but that helps

Seriously. Look Baby Bash in the eyes when you hit his website and tell me that dude doesn't have a sense of humor. New song, "Baby, I'm Back," features Akon and is cruising music, with sweet R&B vocals, good beat, and much amusement in the video. Dude just wants to hang out with his girlfriend and relax. His dance moves may also be the most laid back thing ever, oddly reminiscent of the late Mitch Hedberg's comedy style. Big thumbs up.

This says more about the managers at Best Buy than it does about their customers

[Setting: the checkout counter at Best Buy on a Friday afternoon. Everything is quiet and normal. Suddenly...]

Whoom! Whoom!

[A dude walks by with what is about as close to an honest-to-god lightsaber as I've ever seen. He is wearing the store's blue polo, indicating he is an employee.]

Our Clerk: Yeah. Those things are awesome. They cost about $120, and that's the second manager that's bought one.

[And scene.]

They are indeed cool. But the whole scene was what made it esp great. Available in Vader and Anakin editions for those of you with just enough disposable income to indulge your inner Comic Book Guy.

Hobbyhorse

1) Adams says they're looking for a 7 or 8 percent increase in tuition next academic year, to pay faculty and such. Admits he's overpaid. No, really. Meredith confirms the former (he estimates average increase at 6.5 percent), but not the latter.

Meredith also said some of the new money will be spent on new faculty. He also said the University System of Georgia had not asked colleges for written requests on tuition because those recommendations would later be subject to an open-records request.

And this would be a problem why? R&B has a different take on overpaidness:

"Whether it's me or anyone else, I want them to be comparably paid," Adams said. "Whether I'm overpaid is up to the Regents."

About 10 students showed up, one of whom asked Adams to recruit to the same extent among non-minority students as UGA has been lately with African-American students, because there's a major shortage of white people on campus. Or didn't you notice? Adams says coaches and student judiciary should handle football arrests. Op-Ed calls us all lazy again. We'd respond, but typing is hard.

2) This is actually a very interesting article on road maintenance in Oconee County. I promise.

3) Hey, downtown business owners, you wanted to locate where you are. It's understandable that street closings are annoying and probably result in lost business for some (but increased for others). It's not like happenings downtown are a new thing. You could've opened your store elsewhere.

4) Sample stormwater utility bills are going out. ABH explains what the deal is again.

5) Atlanta Gas & Light thinks PSC should ignore PSC staffers' recommendations for revision of bills. This despite the fact that PSC staffers are serving as independent evaluators. None of this should make a massive difference in your monthly payments (which would go up by about a dollar). It's more just interesting bickering.

6) Cleland speaks at UGA, R&B reports. I appreciate his liberalization now that he's out of office, but (douchey as Chambliss's attack ads were) he's no great Democratic hero.

7) Wait, there might be problems with requiring people to show ID at the polls? Thank you for noticing, ABH, despite gratuitous Jesse Jackson bashing. Column concludes,

While those are not inconsequential issues, it seems clear they're not the sort of problems best solved with little more than ramped-up rhetoric.

But clearly the ramped-up rhetoric resulted in this column exploring the issue a little more thoroughly, so who's to say it's doing no good at all?

8) Bill Shipp provides conspiracy theories wrt Rudolph's plea bargain. Neglects to emphasize that it's also how the justice system works.

9) Letter writer says ABH has painted the wrong picture of why Simpson lost her job and that it really did have more to do with soil-erosion ordinances not being enforced.

10) Bulldog Bucks program moving off-campus as well. Article linked because of ludicrousness of complaint by one student:

Jordan described his experiences using the card as inconsistent, saying he often pays different prices for the same thing -- whether a Coke from a vending machine or a page out of a printer -- depending on where he is.

"I can print something out at the (Student Learning Center) for four cents and then print at the Caldwell Hall computer lab for 10 cents," he said as an example. "It's ludicrous how much they charge for stuff."

11) R&B editor disagrees with his colleagues on their "our take" re football arrests, has something to say about it.

12) R&B letters page is difficult to sum up, but chock-full of sarcasm, Ultimate Fighting, and more football.

[bugmenot ABH]

I was not lying

Damn. They are adorable. Cuter than those punk kittens. Out of towners and those of you not yet familiar with Murder Beach's sound should click "listen" and let the sugar into your ears. I'd recommend "Automatic Day," "Tightest Pants," and "2224."

Entropy reverses

In one small case. Living in a college town after graduation is an example of that force continuing, as your friends move away to grad school or real jobs and opportunities. The molecules drift apart, as it were. This is how things go, most of the time. Things, uh, fall apart, as a poetic fella once said. Reversal of this process, even in an isolated situation, is rare and something to be happy about.

Translation: a great friend of Team Brown is returning to the bosom of Athens. This makes for the joy.

How to kick off your morning

Watch this cute, low-budget-style video from Be Your Own PET for "Damn Damn Leash." It is simple in plot, concept, and execution. It has a beat. And it clocks in under two minutes. Let this be a lesson to you, noodlers. (real only)

Police Blotter (This is how we learn to make decisions, instructional edition)

This would be the right decision:

Threat: On April 7, a local woman called deputies to report her husband told her a few weeks ago he was thinking about killing her. She told the deputy she was going to seek a divorce.

This is probably not:

Complaint: On April 5, Deputy Laura Teet was dispatched to meet an upset man on Lavista Drive, who showed her where someone had cut down two trees in his yard. One was under a powerline and the other next to it. He suspects his electricity provider performed the deed. He told Teet he was going to take care of this matter himself.

Also this, which sounds like a euphemism, but is entirely literal:

Arrest: On April 8, security at Wal-Mart arrested Dealethai Bush, 30, of Statham on a shoplifting charge. She was observed putting a movie and some hot-dogs in her purse then leaving the store without paying.

Most random of the week?

Harassment: On April 7, a resident of Old Mill Drive reported he was awakened by a telephone call about 11:20 p.m. and the caller said, "Your daughter kicked my dog." Then he made a threat and said he was going to sue. The resident explained his daughter was grown and no longer lived here.

All the stuff and more, here.

And the Lord did say unto him, "Measure thy stretch marks."

When I see Mike on his couch, legs crossed in such a confining way, I find it hard to believe he can sit down without causing himself immeasurable discomfort. He keeps his penis tucked between his legs and under a buttock. When he stands and bends to pick something up, I can glimpse it poking at the nylon of his shorts.

And there are pages of this. Not exactly safe for work (I suppose it depends on whether your office has a problem with the word "penis" and likewise; there are no pictures), but worth reading in its own way (Salon, so watch the ad).

Mapping

Presumably, in this scenario, she's Burt and he's Loni. Because I can't see it the other way around. [via]

Hobbyhorse

1) Memorial garden due to open at UGA. I thought it was a waste of money and generally stupid, but watching it come together (I pass by it on my way to class three days a week), I think it's actually an attractive design and betters the campus. Props.

2) UGA professors not insanely liberal. Well, nuh duh. The one student who did seem to have a problem introduces us to a new phrase, "sour apple." Mmm... sour apple...

3) Commerce drug testing program officially approved. School officials say there is no drug problem, while school board says there is, but both are in favor of the testing. High School principal is either misquoted ("It is very private, indiscreet." In da street? And discreet?) or needs a dictionary.

4) More tough on crime posturing.

5) ABH notes that Emory's alcohol policy is smarter than UGA's, as it doesn't contain a disincentive to seek medical help.

6) Y'all think Ponsoldt's running for something (again, that is)? He has another letter in the ABH, this one about the voter ID bill.

7) Loran Smith's got a fever... Spring fever.

8) Who says there are no new questions?

9) R&B editorial weighs in on the football melee, proposes throwing both players off the team. Letters page will be full for weeks to come. "Head football coach Mark Richt can abandon the ridiculous pretense of trying to find out what happened by asking other players." Evidence? Schmevidence. We've got a column to write here.

[bugmenot ABH]

Nice Caboose

No really...

Answers

Efficient Mr. Jeff Montgomery was happy to provide answers. The ordinance on sidewalk cafes is here. Starbucks is not an exception; their paperwork is in. Presumably this means that the exception for College Square (Sec. 6-10-8) no longer holds. Reasoning is not given for the railings, which are unsightly and at least as much of a hazard to the blind as giant metal frogs and the like.

Average It Up (U.K. edition)

Featuring a very familiar name.

1) Anastacia, "Heavy on My Heart" -- I can only hear 30 seconds of this, but it seems like a representative 30 seconds. It's appealingly big, but not interesting enough and, hell, if you're gonna go big, go much bigger, especially when you look kinda like a drag queen. I dunno, 2? (clips here)

2) Razorlight, "Somewhere Else" -- Aw, it ain't so bad. This sort of squashed high-range indie walking the streets song isn't usually my thing, but I didn't mind this at all, surprisingly. Mike is right that you can't hear the percussion for shit, but I didn't hate it. 3. (watchable at Manchester Online if you have registered)

3) Maroon 5, "Must Get Out" -- It would be so much easier to climb on board the hate train, but I really can't hate these dudes. This isn't as earwormy as "This Love," but it still has that teaspoon of Stevie Wonder that can easily make me not dislike a tune. 3. (Can't find it easily linkable but am sure it's all over the radio or will be)

4) Brand New Heavies, "Surrender" -- Blue-eyed soul does require soul to gain its name. This just kind of sucks. 2. (streaming at their site; video is there too)

5) Melanie Blatt, "See Me" -- It does seem to go with the movie it's featured in (Robots) but doesn't go enough toward shiny and metallic. Another okay entry. 3. (video is here)

6) Kathryn Williams, "Shop Window" -- Can't actually listen to this bastard anywhere. Her site is sort of unhelpful, but does have a few other tunes that pop up at the very bottom, and if they're similar, it's probably the sort of thing I wouldn't mind listening to if it were on in a bookstore, which it would be. Next Norah Jones characterization is apt-ish. Pretty sound, nice and soft and acoustic, but not interesting enough for me to get super excited about. Can't rate the song. Will rate artist as a whole a nice 5.

7) Freeloaders, "So Much Love to Give" -- Thump, thump, thump + singy keyboards + good sample. Good danciness. Doesn't transcend its genre or anything, but is totally enjoyable. 5. (listenable here)

8) The Secret Machines, "Road Leads Where It's Led" -- Mike's U2 comparison is right. And, therefore, I don't think this is all that interesting, but it is listenable (despite 30-second plus intro that was making me very antsy). 3. (they have a player on their site that will stream it for you)

9) Daft Punk, "Robot Rock" -- Am still formulating ideas on the entire album (must must write review today). This is one of the better tunes on it. Robots. And their interpretation of rock. 7, but is bumped up there from 6 for inclusion of robots. (stream of video is here)

10) Interpol, "C'mere" -- Maybe when I prepare myself to be sort of annoyed and bored by something, I end up liking it far more than I expected. That is the case here. Normally, I feel very lukewarm about Interpol, but I like this song, which really does have a Smiths tone to it and is accompanied by a neat and vaguely hypnotic video. Is it all like this and I am usually grouchier? 6.

11) Ciara, "1, 2 Step" -- Thing is, by this point I'm a little tired of this song, which doesn't bode well for it. May prefer her new single, "Oh," on the whole and always thought this might be too stripped down. But funky noises are still good. 6. [video at MTV]

12) Juliet, "Avalon" -- Eh, Mike got my expectations up too high. If I'm gonna go for this kind of thing, I'd really rather Kylie most times. It does sound like the tunnel the video's set in, and the whooshes ain't bad, but all told, just a 4.

What do you mean the president's not dead?

Come on, you big pussies. It's not like he's got some kind of voodoo hex lined up (like the previous commander in chief).

It is, however, about time for an updating of one of my very first posts, a list of crossover actors between 24 and the Whedonverse. You can add:

Robert Catrini (24 season 4/Buffy)
Kevin Fry (24 season 3/Angel)
Brittany Ishibashi (24 season 4/Angel)
Bob Jesser (24 season 3/Angel)
Henry Kingi, Jr. (24 season 4/stunts on Angel)
Jason Padgett (24 season 4/two different characters on Angel)
Andrew Rolfes (24 season 3/Firefly)
Mark Rolston (24 season 3/Angel)
J. Scott Shonka (24 season 3/Angel, security guard/commando)
Alex Skuby (24 season 4/Buffy & Angel)
Shiloh Strong (24 season 3/Buffy; Rider's bro
Randy Thompson (24 season 3/Buffy, where he plays Dr. Kriegel)

It seems to have slowed down a lot, and there are no major characters from either show in this edition. Maybe they thought it was getting a bit too noticeable. Look, I know y'all can find a traitorous IT guy role for Jonathan M. Woodward.

Average It Up (U.S. edition)

New title. Other one was just a placeholder.

1) Audioslave, "Be Yourself" -- Ugh. Boring. The Red Hot Chili Peppers comparison is apt, if that band didn't throw a bit of Minutemen funk in there. Am not even going to mention title/subject. Snore. 2. [launches and streams when you hit their site]

2) U2, "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" -- If you like U2, it's totally fine, and it's not as though I hate them. It just doesn't do it for me. It is nice that Bono loves his daddy, but I'm about to add a "and I still haven't found what I'm looking for" in the middle. Anthemy and stuff, but too long even for that. 3. [check the video out on this German site in real or win media]

3) Cassidy, "I'm a Hustla" -- Dude, this video is adorable (as is Cassidy himself), but this is the kind of song that doesn't usually grab me enough, maybe because the sound is too high--that is, it's up in a tenor-y range and needs a lot more bass. I can deal with repetitive, but this I don't like enough to allow it. I'll still give it a 5; it's just that I expected more after its appearance on Al's top singles list. [video watchable here]

4) Mario, "How Could You" -- I prefer this to "Let Me Love You" since it's a little faster paced and has the occasional strange Pacman-esque keyboard intrusion (I used to have a keyboard with that sound on it). I generally find his voice too robot-edged, but I don't mind listening to this. I've heard R&B ballads that were considerably more boring is what I'm saying. 3, but a happy 3. [watchable on his site, under "media" and then "video"]

5) NIN, "The Hand That Feeds" -- Hee! Gosh this is much more upbeat than I remember the last set of stuff being, back when I was in high school. Cannot tell whether it's I who has lightened up or Reznor or both of us (most likely), but someone has, and this is quite fun and dancy while still sounding like them. Keyboards are particularly great. Singing is shouty enough to where I can't understand the lyrics, which may be a good thing. Today, we think it is a 6. [watchable on their site]

6) Bobby Valentino, "Slow Down" -- I was so not buying this for a long, long time. There were folks getting breathless about the next great thing in R&B balladry, and I heard it and thought "eh..." But it grows on you very nicely. His voice is smooth indeed, and I dig the bongos. Next great thing? Not so much, but a good summer tune. 5. [Def Jam will let you watch the video or listen to the song]

Hypotheticals

Look, if I were some sort of yellow-dog Democrat, I'd probably be smugly snorting at Ralph Nader's appearance in this week's Gawker Stalker:

Sunday afternoon I sat across the aisle from Ralph Nader on a much-delayed United Express flight between Dulles and JFK. Did you know he smokes Pall Malls? He finished the Washington Post and was obviously itching to converse, probably about the Jim Harrison memoir in his lap.

But I ain't. And, therefore, the irony of one of America's great crusaders for public safety being a smoker (and not of some light brand either) isn't something I'm holding against him. Consider it a chink in his occasionally self-righteous armor and forgive it.

Hobbyhorse

1) Braswell has paid up. Seems like the whole waiting thing was her lawyer's idea. Checks actually delivered. So is this an apology from the paper?

2) Oy. This had really been a pretty good offseason so far wrt the football team not embarrassing themselves off the field. But if they're gonna go to Classic City Saloon, things are gonna happen. The whole thing sounds like a mess:

Golston, 21 from Fairburn, had to be physically removed by Hofmann, who arrested him, police said. The crowd was so confrontational that pepper spray was used to disperse the crowd, and police batons were drawn, but no one was struck, according to police.

3) As if it's not ridiculous enough already to have to obtain a permit to protest in a public park, Georgia's considering changing the wording of the rules to allow a delay of five days for groups larger than ten. Interestingly, the Confederate heritage idiots are on the right side of this issue. They're also still pissed about the flag issue and think the change is targeted at them directly.

"The governor is not even aware of this rule change," said Perdue spokeswoman Heather Hedrick. "We would never want to limit anybody's First Amendment rights."

ACLU points out that even the current law violates a 2004 11th Circuit Court ruling.

4) Random drug testing seems to be going swimmingly in Calhoun. After all, as Calhoun principal Brad Brown sez, "To me, law-abiding citizens don't mind the law."

5) Commission backing off revisiting the smoking ban, seem relatively happy with the state version for now. There are plenty of bits in it that are a mess as well, e.g.,:

An establishment that serves minors at any point during the day would not qualify for the over-18 smoking exemption, even if it allows only adults at night, according to Reece.

On the whole, will give bars a competitive advantage. Also, Dodson has an intern and McCarter watches the tee vee. Dodson resigns fr Clarke County Airport Authority to avoid appearance of conflict of interest.

6) Cameras going up. Note locations, kids. I'm sure you can still get in fights outside the perimeter of the all-seeing eyes.

7) Tax collections up again. Good thing, too, with the redecorating bit slipped into the budget at the last minute. Mark Taylor asks Perdue not to sign the voter ID bill but acknowledges his request is entirely useless. He also seems to think the uptick in cash means services will be restored. Catchy rhymes play well, though. And Winders has noticed the extreme weirdness of Perdue for graduation speaker. And so have some students, one of whom addresses it here (may not go to graduation). Another says she'd go if Spongebob were the speaker--at least he's a celebrity, yo.

8) Shipp has some juicy theorizing about what could come of the Regents/Foundation feud. Starting with this, perhaps?

9) Barrow apparently did say he was willing to take any questions. Or sort of.

10) ACC Police are annoyed by outsider art?

11) R&B remembers well that, despite the happy talk these days, there were people who lost their jobs at the university.

12) Translation of the concluding statement of this article = "no beer, suckas."

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Oh ye of little faith

There is yet time to repent and believe.

But seriously. Middle ground? It's totally okay.

Wrap-Up

Thank the gods. We are back online.

1) Thursday show was much fun, even considering slightly early skip-out on Murder Beach due to a) tiredness and b) fear of being called out re "cutest band" statement from the stage.

2) The Nationwise in Dacula where the car was taken is owned or run by a fella who is into: cars (obvs), sponsorship of little league teams of various sorts, but also space and Star Trek. Wouldn't have thought they go together exactly. It was a strange and tiny place, but an interesting experience. There was a fat and friendly and territorial chihuahua running around as well.

3) Angel (and Jossverse, boo hoo) season 5 concluded. This finale is an improvement on Buffy's. Season as a whole still might be the weakest of the five. Not all of us worship the ground Fred hovers over, you know?

4) Tears quite happily dried by advent of Dallas, season 1. Yay! Dallas! Due to TV-less childhood, had never experienced any of this show. Knew, pretty much, that there was a fella called J.R. and at some point somebody shot him. That was about it. So am loving the soapiness of it all, the decor and fashion sense (can you say my grandparents' house?), and esp Larry Hagman and Victoria Principal. Oh, J.R. Why did no one tell me I would end up rooting for you, despite your cowardice? I hope and pray for your eventual victory over the puffy-haireded one.

5) Best. God. Damn. Croque. Monsieur. Evaaar. When one's parents come into town, they like to buy one dinner. This is a good thing no matter where, but it is the best thing when it is at Five & Ten and Hugh has got it going the fuck on. Said sammich rested on the side of a bowl of beautiful, spring-like, soft, creamy pea soup, but was truly the apotheosis of the grilled cheese. Soaked in butter, it must've been. I about fell off my bar stool with gustatory delight. [Updated: Menu describes it as "English pea soup with creme fraiche and a prosciutto and gruyere croque monsieur]

Slowlasses

That's what the pace at Rolling Stone must be like. They ran part one of this piece almost a year ago. Now we get to find out who the second 50 greatest artists of all time are. The one you want to read is Kanye's. If you already hated the dude and think he needs his ego cut down to size, you will continue to think so. If you enjoy his personality and enthusiasm for himself, you will probably enjoy this. Where would he be now, indeed? Running the country?

More awesome racial stereotyping

Fresh from Hassiotis, who clearly attracts these sorts of things:

I was sitting outside [at Shane's Rib Shack] and there were these dudes at the table next to me talking about whatever, and one dude asked me "hey, why do y'all white people like the Star Wars so much?" One of them had seen a story on the news about how people have already started to line up for Episode III.

We do, we white people. George Lucas is making an effort with Sam Jackson, but apparently, it ain't working.

[Sidebar: Why so many posts today? So you have something to read tomorrow, my dears, while I'm off on my exciting trip to Nationwise in Dacula to get a free 24-point AAA inspection of the vehicle.]

Dear China Shop,

I am enclosing this bull for your examination.

Camille goes crazy over at Salon, talking about her new book focusing on purty pomes and dissing MoDo, the "Heather Has Two Mommies" crowd, and Ward Churchill along the way, e.g.,

Look at the Ward Churchill case, this guy who was the chairman of the Ethnic Studies Department at the University of Colorado at Boulder and who didn't even have a Ph.D. He had absolutely no scholarly training in anthropology or in anything in ethnic studies -- his M.A. was in communications. He had no business being rocketed to a tenured position literally overnight in the early '90s, when he had just been teaching adjunct courses as a staffer there. All of a sudden, he was earning $94,000 a year. There's something deeply corrupt in American academe that was rewarding, in this case, not the color of your skin but a claimed Indian heritage that Churchill can't prove -- and that one American Indian group long ago called fraudulent.

Whoof. Don't, uh, pull your punches or anything. As usual, take most of it with plenty of salt. I love Camille and think she has many, many useful things to say. I also respect her advocacy for scholarship that coexists with her appreciation of pop culture. However, she is a hyper lady and firmly in the French tradition of public intellectuals (and dudes on the street) being able to say whatever they want and, thus, occasionally going too far in their statements (farther, i.e., than they even really want to go, not farther than they should be allowed to). I think her points about theory are a little outdated by now, but I'm not gonna complain too much.

And you thought it was a hill, bitch

Sermon on the Mount. It's more than you think. This is the page advertising the Athens appearance (which is an annual thing). It links to the home page of SOTM. Note also that the logo (upper left) is the awesomest thing ever.

Hobbyhorse

1) Athens's air quality has improved over the past three years. Apparently, much of our pollution is blown in from Atlanta, but I still think we could use emissions testing, considering the number of cars in this town and the smogginess all through the summer.

2) ACC says it is enforcing environmental laws but could use more money and staff. ABH brings up the judge situation:

It remains to be seen, however, how new Municipal Court Judge Kay Giese will deal with such ordinance violations, after Mayor Heidi Davison ousted her predecessor Ethelyn Simpson at least partly over questions about the severity of Simpson's sentences.

But was it these ordinance violations that were the problem or people parking in their front yards or leaving their trashcans out? Water activist vigilantes taking justice into own hands? Nah, just running workshops and such.

3) Commissioners say they didn't have enough info on the change from Heery to JJ&G re SPLOST. Other late Tuesday happenings.

4) ABH editorial defends the right to boobies on cable.

5) This letter writer might be a wingnut, but his characterization of the Lanier Gardens Barrow Social Security meeting as a campaign rally is probably not totally off.

6) R&B talks about raise in bus fare affecting student fees.

7) R&B editorial criticizes Perdue as graduation speaker, but largely because he's boring, not because he's the devil.

8) Fat dudes maybe not to look so hot in redesigned Bulldog jerseys.

9) Previously, "brunch," that exciting new concept. This time? Pik-a-nik.

[bugmenot ABH]

The kids have it right, as usual

Third time will no doubt be the charm. Have caught episodes of Nickelodeon's Drake & Josh twice now and been really amused and impressed, but haven't yet bothered to find out what time new episodes actually air. It'll happen. So consider this the latest in a long line of TV shows (especially those made for kids) I encourage you to watch and you generally ignore me on. It is smart and quirky and sort of Parker Lewis-y. And it has that little bossy girl from School of Rock in it, being evil but still super-competent. It also gets a little meta at times. Julia Duffy has guested a couple of times. Looks to have been created by Dan Schneider, the mind behind a lot of Nick's more successful shows and Big Fat Liar, which, if you've seen it, you know is a good thing. So. Props to the show. Thumb is pointing up.

Cover versions of photos

For Kofi, read Bee Id. For C Lo, read Young Ho. NSFW (or the purity of your eyeballs, for that matter; these things are not attractive). Bottom left and top left being most accurate recreations of this.

Please to note

The important question of the day, as presented by Lord Douchebag: "If you went out for a night of blackout drunken debauchery with an athlete leading the way, which one would provide you with the hottest residual action?" I am a bad source for this, being not only a girl and therefore a bit less of a judge for the hotness of residual action, but also a girl with semi-weird taste in dudes and apt to go "Rick Fox? Ew..."

Special early one-item hobbyhorse

Because I about choked on my own tongue when I saw the headline this morning: "Commencement speaker chosen. Gov. Sonny Perdue to speak at graduation." Vom. Just vom. Is it a move to butter him up? Because, you know, it's sort of the equivalent of appointing John Bolton to the UN.

Trendoid

This Salon article on clothing line Torrid for big gals was pretty timely (and I like the resounding smackdown to the stupid question posed in the subhead). I was thinking the other day about how awesome it is that there are fat sorority chicks, but they don't dress any differently from their sisters. That is, if the style is those teeny little skirts in a ruffled tier or two, made out of t-shirt material and to bounce up, well, constantly, you will not find the girls on Milledge Avenue who happen to weigh a bit more than the stereotype walking around in potato sacks. It's kinda hot.

Obviously, this phenomenon has been remarked on wrt the general young female population, but I think it's especially interesting in this sub-group that's supposedly (or is actually) obsessed with appearance.

Hobbyhorse

1) Georgia Chamber of Commerce thrilled with results of legislative session. James Cobb explains why that's a bad thing, e.g.,

Finally, lest socially conscious employers be tempted to set a bad example, the General Assembly forbade municipalities to give preference to contractors who promise to hire people at more than the legally stipulated minimum wage.

2) Marietta Daily Journal urges Perdue to veto donor confidentiality bill. OMG. So cute! The Gov and the Republicans in the General Assembly are so never on the same page.

3) The Pottery = Athens-area's Statue of Liberty? Slight exaggeration?

4) Bus fare increase passes, transfer fee rejected. Understandably, we don't want to penalize people who have to change buses, but eliminating routes would penalize them a lot more, eh? Chasteen, McCarter, Carter vote agin. Also, grant money shifted from the elderly poor to "underprivileged children, the homeless and victims of sexual assault."

5) Folks turn out to protest CertainTeed's request to be allowed to pollute more.

State Environmental Protection Division representatives have said the agency is likely to grant the company's request to increase emissions and told citizens at a December meeting that the increase wouldn't significantly deteriorate air quality in Athens. Residents in the area and parents of children at a nearby daycare center expressed outrage and called on state and local officials to increase restrictions on pollution emissions.

So, on the one hand, I wouldn't be surprised if people were being a little hysterical, but on the other hand, the air quality in town does pretty much suck. Also:

One protester was escorted from the building by Police Chief Jack Lumpkin after he dropped a bullhorn that had been used during the protest and accidentally set off the siren function.

6) God knows, it's always the prosecutors who need help.

In addition, the measure stipulates that prosecutors always will go last in presenting closing arguments to the jury. Some believe it is an advantage to give the final argument because jurors will remember it better.

If we could just strike that pesky presumption of innocence thing now.

7) ABH supports bonds/jobs thing.

8) Will Glenn Richardson be the next star in Georgia politics? Let's jump to conclusions.

9) You know what makes you look professional as fuck? Misspelling Terri Schiavo's name throughout your entire piece. Yay!

R&B site is down. No student-centric news for you today.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC; bugmenot MDJ]

Daisy, Daisy

This is in an even stranger (but still related) category than having your own pool cue. Whoever buys needs to find a way to outfit with spinners.

Police Blotter (Teet-ness)

Teet comes through again with greatness:

Damage: On April 3, Deputy Laura Teet was dispatched to a residence in Arbor Glen Mobile Home Park, where a female resident said a man, whom she knew only by a nickname, came to her door asking for a ride. She didn't open the door, but looked out the window at the man. The man asked, "How come you called the manager today?" He then kicked the door and asked, "Why you want to be like that for?" Teet found a large dent in the door, but could not locate the suspect.

And again:

Burglary: On April 2, Deputy Laura Teet was dispatched to a burglar alarm going off at the Golden Pantry on Mars Hill Road about 12:30 a.m. Two males were had been seen leaving the scene of the crime on Hodges Mill Road, so deputies Byron Smith, Tim Kirkham and Scott Underwood went in search of the suspects. Teet found the front door had been smashed with a rock where the criminals entered, stole some beer and cigarettes and fled the scene. Later, Underwood found a bookbag containing beer, shorts, rubber gloves and shirts. The suspects were not located.

With what, a forklift?

Burglary: On April 2, a resident of the 2300 block of Atlanta Highway in Bogart reported someone broke into his house through the front door and stole about $70 to $80 in change.

I'm just saying. That's heavy. [rest are here]

TAR... sigh...

Remember that bit last week about how bitterness most of the time is necessary to set up true sweetness? Life is back to normal, and joy is being ground underfoot into a sad little pulp. Dudes, at least you went out in serious style. Welcome to my new favorite team, Uchenna & Joyce, followed by Lynn & Alex (I don't care if Miss Alli isn't a fan; she is taking their snark far too seriously), and Ron & Kelly (they're not that bad; Ron, in particular, is kind of amusing). Don't make me choose between Ramber and the old folks for the team I least want to win. I admire the pluck of the latter but not, oh, their actual screen time.

Infinite Jest to come true

Rapture index skyrocketing. [via]

Gutsy, Schmutsy

Eh. I wouldn't really call that a twist. More of a "if it didn't happen, the show has proven itself a wuss." My heart sure wasn't in my throat, but that might have a little to do with the fact that we hardly know this president.

Oh yeah. And even more to do with the fact that I missed two minutes of the show while horrible beeping sounded and a guy read out an Amber Alert in a halting, slow voice, while most of the same information ran across the bottom of the screen. Listen up, FOX 5. I'm in my house. It doesn't overlook the expressway. Also, I can read; if I can't read, to hell with me. If I were blind and therefore needed the sound, I wouldn't be able to spot the car anyway. Keep your yap effin shut while Chloe is talking. Bitches.

Hobbyhorse

1) Huffing on the rise in Athens, esp among Latino youth. It's always seemed to me that that's how you get high if you ain't got nothing else to get high on.

2) Scantily clad ladies in Winder more of a traffic hazard than the sorority girls who job jog on Milledge?

3) Barrow has his Social Security "straight-talk" meeting (a recorded phone announcement for which interrupted me a few days ago, leading to a "curse you, John Barrow"). No conflict, from what it sounds like. And a great photo of an old lady smiling at him.

4) Kelly McCutchen, executive vice president of the Georgia Public Policy Foundation, doesn't like the Republicans funding local projects any more than he likes the Democrats doing it.

5) Hugging not just for wusses any more.

6) Permanent opposite day. That's what it is around here.

ATLANTA - Gov. Sonny Perdue on Monday praised the efforts of organ transplant advocates just days after the Georgia legislature passed a Perdue-backed bill that would do away with discounted driver's licenses for organ donors.

Norwood, the recipient of a donated lung, was present, but it doesn't say whether he favored or opposed the change.

7) Jobs at Lowe's are now considered awesome? Sure, it's a step above the chicken plant, but worth the huge tax break handed out when there was a good chance they would've opened this second branch anyway?

8) ABH questions switch from Heery to JJ&G for SPLOST. There are definitely some reasons to be suspicious:

It's also a bit troubling the subcommittee was so willing to work with JJ&G representatives, pointing out to them ways in which they could trim their bid for the SPLOST work. While such negotiation may, in fact, have produced a streamlined, workable bid, that sort of work should have been done by JJ&G in advance of submitting the proposal.

But, on the other hand, it's not like Heery was doing such a kickass job either.

9) Yes, Tant's inclusion in the paper is a real shocker, esp in one of the most Democratic-voting counties in the state.

10) As predicted from the beginning by the paper, The Eagles win the battle of the bands.

11) Once the budget's signed and the money starts arriving, hiring faculty is top priority at UGA, though it apparently has been at the J-School even over the past couple of years. Am also confused as to what this means exactly:

Mace said faculty vacancies will be filled based on student demand and priorities of the future.

He said the University was concerned with courses not taught by tenured track faculty. While graduate students and part-time faculty teach well, tenured track faculty have more experience.

Will be hiring more tenure-track or fewer?

12) Open mic with Mike coming up.

13) Myers Hall Hunter-Gault mural officially modified. R&B uses the occasion to push for H-G as graduation speaker again and reminds us once again of Adams's graduation party for his son (I can't hear about it enough).

14) Guest editorial accuses R&B of being relentlessly negative. Must have more stories on puppies!

[bugmenot ABH]

Panty-watch

16) Aesthetically speaking, the filmmakers have a thing for pneumatic breasts and bondage wear, and the women in "Sin City" are conceived along the same fetishistic lines as many comic strip heroines. Dressed in push-up bras and even a pair of chaps, they all look as if they could be on the stroll in Pigalle, including a parole officer, who likes to ramble around in thong panties and heels. It is a vision of women so comically retro you half expect the 1950's pinup Bettie Page to swing by for some fun. [from review of Sin City by Manohla Dargis, 04/01/05; annoyingly bad review, but props for mention of panties, even though I'd say there aren't a ton of them in the movie] [bugmenot]

[previously]

Adding to the reviews (UK edition)

1) Melanie C, "Next Best Superstar" -- Blah. It's not that she has to have a great voice to do a good song; it's that this just isn't one. I think the 2s and 3s have it. (Mel C's website has clips of it)

2) Feeder, "Feeling a Moment" -- Inferior "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get out of." I'm not a huge U2 fan, but when they do soaring well, it's their territory. This is not inspiring me for crap. 2, for boringness. (listenable/watchable in real/win media here)

3) Natasha Bedingfield, "I Bruise Easily" -- Boring, ballady crap. Video rather reminiscent of current Dove "fresh your body" ads. Sure, she's what people call "hot" and she stretches a lot, but meh. She can kind of sing. Another 2, because it's all paling next to the R. Kelly. (video is on her site, when you click "news" and scroll down, in real, win media, and quicktime)

4) Elton John, "Turn the Lights Out When You Leave" -- Neither country enough nor glam enough to be all that interesting. It's not sappy, but it's also stuck in a bad region between nostalgia of different sorts. Video, with Teri Hatcher and Thomas Jane, feels dated too, in a bad way. 3, because it's not horrible, just not exciting. (Video on Elton's site, but only in real)

5) The Others, "William" -- Animal suits in video don't compensate for laziness of song itself. Vocals are kind of interesting (and strongly accented), but nothing is catchy enough and with a chorus like "ba ba ba ba ba ba BOW!" it really should be. Another 2. (NME has video if you register, in real and win media.)

6) The Bees, "Chicken Payback" -- This is long-ass lag between song release and video, but they put some effort into it. Song is already kind of hip-twitchy and weird in a way that'd fit nicely in a John Waters movie. Video only enhances it. If only DDR did require karate kicks and strange chickeny dance moves. Already liked it; video bumps it up a little higher. Definitely a 5, maybe a 6 if I'm feeling generous. (findable at their new Flash website, which is a bit annoying to navigate, in real and win media)

7) Garbage, "Why Do You Love Me" -- I've never been crazy about their stuff, but this does have a melody and a decently done chorus, unlike most of the selections this week. 4. (listen here in real or win media)

8) Kelis feat. Nas, "In Public" -- Haven't been able to hear entire thing, only a good long sample. Not up there with her absolute best stuff, but appealingly smooth with chunks of clangy in the beat. On the other hand, it's no "Trick Me" in terms of hummability. 6. (Sample here; I believe it's the fourth song)

9) Vitalic, "My Friend Dario" -- The video is a 9 or 10, most definitely, with robot + jumpsuit + hot girls in football helmets and lingerie + purple neon + air guitar and headbanging. The song itself is more like a 5, in that it's pretty good, but it's definitely repetitive in the way that much dance music is. It's not singable enough for me. Different strokes. (viewable here)

! (!!!!)

It is good to get an email with the subject line "!"

It is better when the link in that email leads to more R. Kelly.

You already knew he was a genius, but you could use a little reinforcement. You already knew you loved "Sex in the Kitchen," but did you know you'd love the remix? You already knew (or should've) how interesting the man's psyche was and how devoted he was to entertaining you, but here's a reminder.

What you did not know is the greatness of "Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 1 of 5)." One! Of five!!! Gimme the other four now, esp considering where it cuts off. You, too, will be banging on your desk in delight and disbelief.

Can't you see he loves y'all? [via my new best friend, who is great about getting me my RKells fix]

Everything Idol

Someone's gotta break the tie between swearing and the lightbulb. Or muddy the situation further by voting for Pet Sounds. Polls close at midnight.

If you can't stand Wayne Brady's heat...

SF Chronicle has an article about the first chick to be on Iron Chef. Unfortunately, it's extremely lame.

In a pop-cultural arena where men like Emeril Lagasse tend to dominate the spotlight, a 5-foot, 2-inch woman from Fairfield will debut as television's first Iron Chef wearing mascara.

Does she think Emeril doesn't wear him some mascara? Also, admission that she doesn't, like, have a restaurant. The highlight, however, follows for your amusement:

Cora has already shown she doesn't crumble under pressure. On the Wayne Brady Show, the comedian failed to ruffle Cora's feathers with his incessant jokes and overbearing presence. In fact, she managed to crack wise at Brady's expense after he made a joke about cracked pepper.

"You have been on some cracked pepper," she said, not missing a beat as she threaded yogurt-drenched chicken onto a skewer.

. Oh, ess en ay pee! The wittiness is overwhelming my poor delicate senses. Also note that she is gay, which proves that it's not that you have to have a penis to go on the show, you just have to fuck women. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. [bugmenot] [via]

Hobbyhorse (redone because Blogger is an asshole)

1) Ethics bill that passed includes, guess what, more secrecy.

Perdue indicated he would probably sign the two secrecy bills that made it to his desk. House Bill 437 shields the home phone numbers and addresses of public employees --- though teachers, judges, police officers and other selected officials already had that protection. The intent of the administration-sponsored legislation was to prevent Democratic-oriented unions from contacting state employees --- but the governor said all public workers deserve their privacy.

He brushed aside complaints that it would make it harder for news organizations to contact whistle-blowers away from their offices. "Everybody knows who the decision-makers are and how to reach us," Perdue said.

Likewise, the governor said he likes HB 340, which shields identities of donors to university foundations. "These are people --- generous philanthropists --- who want to give money. I don't think the public has a right to know who that anonymous donor is," Perdue said.

Augh. GOP is happy with end results of session, Democrats not so much. Weirdly, in MNS's report on how law changes will affect your daily life, they talk to an Athens resident who's unhappy with the statewide smoking ban passing, which is odd, considering Athens has a ban that is in many ways much more restrictive.

2) JJ&G is new project manager for SPLOST projects. Some contend politics behind the change.

The committee decided beforehand not to consider cost when picking a firm, members said.

"We agreed to set that aside because we knew that Heery would have a huge advantage in terms of what to expect," Kinman said. "The other two would have to take a shot in the dark."

I understand the reasoning here, to some extent, but price should be part of the decision.

3) Giese is going to be watched carefully in her three-month term. Dodson uses the language of the corporate: "It's unfortunate things didn't work out with our former judge (Simpson)..." Some commissioners are apparently frustrated with the way things worked out, but a) are under a gag order, and b) don't understand the concept of a protest vote. This ain't good though:

Afterwards, things turned ugly. Quick accused Davison of spending a week at the beach and neglecting the judge issue. Davison responded that she spent the previous week in Florida caring for two ailing parents.

Huyven. I do feel bad for Giese, who is stuck in the middle of a bad situation. On the positive side, Winders gets a huge target to aim at, and he's not passing it up.

4) Sewer system is discharging raw waste into streams less often.

5) ABH editorial favors the multi-use path option for S. Milledge bike lanes, citing the fact that it's multi-use as a positive thing, but multi-use for what or who? Pedestrians? Unicyclists? Clown cars?

6) Katherine Haley Will has a decent piece on how the information the government is gathering on students is an invasion of privacy and could be used to reduce or eliminate scholarships, hitting those who need them most hardest.

7) Shipp makes Georgia's current government sound worst evs.

8) R&B suggests Hunter-Gault for graduation speaker, which would be exciting and generally fulfill the criteria the administration has set. Is it coincidence that they publish a letter suggesting the same?

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

More more more

As mentioned below in comments, you have another place to get your Nilsson the fuck on today, as Matthew's thought to post "Jump into the Fire." Dude. Whiteboy can make some funky shit. I would like to have that bassline following me everywhere I go, but I am not cool enough to pull it off.

My new imaginary band's name

Is Apron Boobs Face. That was one hell of a joke. You can say this last episode of The Simpsons fell apart toward the end and didn't pursue certain elements as much as it should've narrative-wise, but from the opening to the first commercial was tan-fastic.

Also: this was proposed after much of having CNN or whatever on in the background. What would have cleared things up considerably is a little box in the corner of the screen saying either "Pope dead" or "Pope not dead." It was occasionally hard to figure out. (And, more recently, "Pope still dead" could've been added.)

Lil' Anjuls

  These were the kids sleeping on the couch before the opening act at the Of Montreal show Saturday. Athens shows, they start late. One girl has her eyes open, I've noticed, but they didn't budge, even with the flash.

But all that is tangential because what really needs to be said is how great the show itself was. Of Montreal are not some twee little band who sing about flowers and accompany themselves with acoustic guitar and triangle. They can fucking rock. And they did. Can you rock covered in glitter? Has anyone done so since Bowie? They played a good mix of stuff off the new album and Satanic Panic. I did not look at my watch during their whole set. That's a good sign. Tour dates are here. If you have the opportunity, I would recommend you bust out the ol' wallet and make an effort. They are having ridiculous fun, and it's contagious.

Movie Diary (choirs of angels singing here)

Sin City: Do I ever mention how glad I am that I have a friend who manages to drag me to stuff sometimes? Not that I didn't want to see this; I've been excited since the first trailer, but I am (how shall we say) lazy about theatrical releases. Worth the big screen. Mr. Brown is right in saying it is the most exciting thing since Kill Bill and will no doubt be the most exciting thing to come out this year. It is, mind you, not as good as that masterpiece of filmmaking, but it is marvelous in its own right, with tons of energy and a gleeful desire to go as far as it can go in terms of sex and violence. Yay! I love sex and violence! It takes a little while to find its tone (or for me to find it, anyway), but there is a point, relatively early in the Marv story, where you realize, "Oh. It's funny" and goodness results from that point on. It is not perfect, but it is god damn fun as fucking hell. Mickey Rourke is brill. Our audience was in love with it.

[Sidebar: Dude. It is both interesting and mean of Rodriguez to include so many instances of penis detroying or mangling or whatnot, considering the large fanboy population in the theater. And also reminiscent of the scene in Kill Bill, v. 1, in which we see how crazy Gogo is, i.e., the whole "Or is it I who has penetrated you?" bit.]

There is greatness yet to be discovered

And some of it, for some of you, can be found here, at the good ol' Mez Ecl Ext, who have nicely put up two fab Harry Nilsson songs on behalf of Team Brown who is newly capital-O Obsessed. Both of these are available on Personal Best, a 2-disc best of that's a great place to get started, even if the current cover is not as cool as the one on our copy (which I can only find a very tiny image of). Anyway. Massive, sweeping wonderfulness of pop and rock and piano-based songwriting. Sure, you know that coconut song and you know "Everybody's Talkin'" and "One" and a couple of other things, though you may know them in cover versions, but there is much that you do not, and that I did not and that Mr. Brown did not. But there was dancing in the car. There was the sweet wind of revelation. There are things left to be found in the world.

"Many Rivers to Cross" is from Pussy Cats, the album Lennon produced and the one that destroyed his voice because he kept going despite having bleeding vocal cords because he didn't want Lennon to back out. As Mr. Brown says, "it was worth it."

"Don't Leave Me" is just insane, starting out kind of wussy and getting gradually more... well. Beep beep!

"Down to the Valley" is the concluding song of The Point, which I guess you could call a sort of rock opera for kids. Songs alternate with narrative bits on the CD, but the primary form in which it existed was as an animated thingie, made for TV. This is Mr. Brown's favorite song. If he were redoing his list of 50, it would be near the top, I'm thinking. Both this and the previous show off the pre-destroyed voice quite gorgeously, with particularly soft harmonies on this. This version has an extended ending after about a minute of silence, which is nice, but feel free to stop early if you are impatient.

Enjoy. Love. Grow. Buy.

Hobbyhorse

1) This article, front-page, above-the-fold material for the R&B and headlined "Legislators spare Univ. from more cuts," is unbelievably bad. What kind of snow job was done on this reporter that would make him think most or many problems have been solved in the budget? Just because further cuts weren't handed down doesn't mean the university system is being funded at anything close to where it should be. When expectations are lowered so far, anything that doesn't lower them further is seen as a positive, but that doesn't make it so.

2) Good luck passing that regional transit authority bill through the GA any time soon. MARTA chairman Michael Walls's op-ed on the need to increase fares for that public transit system makes clear the lack of respect the state government has for such. The counterpoint really makes the same point, in asking taxpayers to let their legislators know MARTA is necessary and to increase its funding.

3) This is ridiculous. The commission's wasting its time hand-picking judges while the local government is about to be stripped of its authority to enforce environmental protection laws because they're not actually doing it.

4) Barrow will be here Monday, at Lanier Gardens, to talk about Social Security and take questions. Someone should go heckle him about his Schiavo vote.

5) Fowler Drive trying to create a healthier school-lunch program, being thwarted a bit. No syrup, though. And Alps Road Elementary will make their new playground fully ADA-compliant.

6) Smoking ban would allow local governments to keep their currently more restrictive laws and pass even more restrictive ones in the future. It ain't over yet in Athens.

7) More people should pay attention to education reform task force stuff, says ABH.

8) Ron Evans says downtown's losing its character with all these big buildings going up, and much as I hate to be on the side of the curmudgeons, the landscape really is changing and into something less appealing.

9) Charles Bullock, Poli Sci prof, writes about year of secrecy in R&B, but thinks reporting those gifts from people who do business with the university would solve the problem of that particular bill. As pointed out earlier, it would not. There are quid pro quos that don't involve cash.

10) UGA has no fancy graduation speaker, which speaks of fiscal responsibility in one area that's pleasantly surprising. Of course, since I've been here (1996), UGA's only exciting graduation speaker was Ted Turner, and even he has a local connection, so painting it as a response to budget cuts might be a little off.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Viddy/Singles

Y'all should all go take a look at Al's list of the best singles of 05 so far. I am working on filling in any gaps in my knowledge from it. But dude, no "Girlfight"? No Akon?

It also prompted me to remember to go check out "Signs" (video watchable here in several formats), which is not really a great Snoop song (his bits are okay, just not, like, heights of Snoop), but is a great Timberlake one. Sigh. I miss Justin. Usher's a nice replacement, but what I really want is both of them, collaborating on the ultimate Michael Jackson imitation, and probably with some kind of dance-off in the video. It also continues the 05 trend previously noted here: hot chicks whalin' on each other.

Movie Diary

Intermission (2003): Bad title (there are lots of movies that share it). Good movie. There is something about these U.K. comedies that end up affirming things like the value of love that is marvelous, probably because the healthy sprinkling of "fuck"s and "cunt"s cut the treacle nicely. Also, one can actually see why people like Colin Farrell and think he's a good actor; he's excellent in this and totally believable as a thug. I also like movies that weave among a ton of characters, showing their connections; this has got loads of that too. If you're bored with one story (not that you would be; they're all pretty great and funny), just wait a minute and it'll switch to another one. Cillian Murphy hard to recognize with all that hair, but can clearly do the funny, and Shirley Henderson awesome as usual. All of this sounds kind of corny, but know that it opens with a girl being pucnhed in the face and robbed. Ebert's comparisons of it to Tarantino are very off, but he likes it and his review might be more convincing than mine (Elvis Mitchell's is good too).

Smarts

pretty good You scored 19 American Logic Points!

Wow, you actually look around every once in a while. Congratulations.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 52% on American Logic

Link: The American logic Test written by You4got2Evolve on Ok Cupid

Is Homer really an appropriate graphic here? 19 is pretty good, but I wish I'd broken 20. I'm thinking not Lisa, but maybe a slightly brighter character. Marge? Bart? And clearly I'm not bright enough to figure out how to space this table appropriately. Or even whether it'll look screwy on everyone's else's machines. [via]