Such sweet sorrow

If you haven't looked over on the sidebar, you might not have realized I'm taking all next week off to hang around my house and watch movies and generally just not work. This means (since my house is the land of no internet) that there ain't gon' be any posts here for nine days, including weekends. So dig through the past or visit the links. Occupy yourselves somehow. I promise I will be back and things will resume the way they were.

Whoa.

So, Nick Cannon's new song/video "Can I Live?" Yeah... That translates as "mom, please don't abort me." I don't know whether this is in outrageously bad taste or what. But it's at least interesting. (It's up on his official site now.)

Hobbyhorse

1) Disabled and can't drive in Oconee County? You're screwed, dude. Call your county commissioner, not McDuffie, and tell him/her that Oco needs to pick up the slack, yo.

2) CEO of ACTION being forced to resign to make way for ex-Madison County Commissioner John Scoggins. Board also has almost all the members it needs. CEO Georgia will still get paid, at least temporarily, but may be gone permanently.

3) So neighborhood residents really aren't happy with ARMC's new purchases. The actual expansion plan goes over better, but the neighbors want those temporary parking plans in writing.

4) Are car title pawnbrokers parasites or sort of necessary? Legislature thinking about looking at them.

5) You thought $400K might be a bit much to spend studying whether a useless interstate was needed in Georgia? Try $1.32 million.

6) This guest forum on what rural communities should do to increase economic development doesn't have terrible ideas, but it does have a weird and excessively hip way of putting things. If I'm a grandma with nothing to do but read the paper and write angry letters and I see the phrase "Run elders through boot camps," do you think I'm going to sit down and think rationally about what that means? Hells no. I'm firing up the ol' quill pen.

7) Waste Pro defends self.

8) Richt faces media, takes tough questions.

"I know at Georgia they might be the highest profile human beings in the state of Georgia," Richt said. "Everybody wants to know what they're doing every second of the day. ... To say the first time a guy makes a mistake he needs to be kicked off the football team is like saying your child needs to be kicked out of the family for making a mistake."

[bugmenot ABH]

Average It Up (U.S. edition)

1) The Click Five, "Just the Girl" -- Doesn't this have a ton in common with the generic pop-punk people tend to despise? I mean, I see the Fountains of Wayne comparison, too, but it's not retro so much as it's just been around forever. The chorus is cute as hell. Teeny bit long, but bouncy and worth a 6 for the catchy. (video at ifilm)

2) Lil' Rob, "Summer Nights" -- Dude, I'm buying the relaxed summer jam thing, but the whole "party when the sun goes down" a lot less so. Where's the party? The chorus is nice in its evocation of slo-mo fanning and ice cream eating, but it's not sweet enough or fun enough or anything of the sort. I say it's okay, but it's way down the list of summer songs even from this year. 5. (video here)

3) Mariah Carey, "Shake It Off" -- It's the freakin' weekend, baby I'm about to sing about my newfound self-respect? As good as "It's Like That," but different and more Mariah, and she rocks some serious pirate boots in the video. 6, because I always want her to be a little more fun, a la "Heartbreaker," which I think is still my favorite song she's ever released and possibly a straight-up 10, especially if you take the awesome video into account (dancey Mariah! cartoon Mariah! ass-kicking Mariah! narrative! movies! Jerry O'Connell!). (Mariah videos at Launch)

4) Relient K, "Be My Escape" -- More rock than the standard pop-punk, which would generally be a bad thing if it brought extreme seriousness with it, but I don't really feel like it does in this case. Plus total Vanessa Carlton piano, which is a great touch. If it were just a bit cheerier, it could really go places for me. 5. (listen at their myspace page)

5) Black-Eyed Peas, "Don't Lie" -- Y'all know I love the "no no"s. Fuck y'all. 7, damn it.

6) Ying Yang Twins feat. Mike Jones and Mr. Collipark, "Badd" -- Less interesting than "Wait," but so much more fun. Good 80s-electronic beat, good pace, excellent method of censoring. 6. (video here)

Things learned indeed

1) Stomp isn't just a traveling Broadway show. It's a way of life when people keep trying to take shit from you.

2) Rookie of the fucking year, anyone?

Maximus

Not false advertising.

1) I feel like I could know a lot of people in this, esp those clad in yellow. That is, the leaping and such is oddly familiar.

2) There should be more running in commercials. Esp when it is combined with Orff and a little awkwardness.

Scales even again

So, to compensate for the requirement that I must deal with Honestly, a band that should be my thing in many ways but totally is not, I also receive the new Daniel Lanois (Belladonna), which, being completely instrumental and really not song-based at all but more of an ambient sound picture, really should not be my thing, but actually is. And is amazingly beautiful. The difficulty arises yet again: how do I get people other than, like, Sigur Ros fans to buy this record?

Ripples

Because I know not all of you make your way to Mesmerization Eclipse, I'm also pointing to this amazing post they linked that runs down all the college football team/rapper comparisons you would pretty much ever ever need. Fucking brilliant and mostly dead on (Florida aside).

Oh you kids

Having concluded Smallville season 3 (and being kept from continuing because ABC Family is an idiot and doesn't show the syndicated episodes in order), Team Brown has moved on to season 1 of The Kids in the Hall, purchased partially because it was a darn good bargain and partially because we had been remiss in not getting it sooner, both being big fans. And despite being so early 90s in look and feel and everything, it has retained its comedic value because, other than that, it's not really of the era. There isn't topical content. Yes, it can be a little monologuey (I definitely prefer the sketches with more than one person most of the time), but on the whole it holds up much better than SNL. When your sketches mostly consist of celebrity impersonations, they may be amusing at the time, but in 20 years no one will know what the hell you were talking about, whereas if you focus on suburban family life and office politics, everyone will still nod knowingly. I'd also compare the show much more to A Bit of Fry and Laurie, no doubt never to make its way to dvd, forcing Team Brown to hang on to its ancient VHS copy. Both are comedically concerned with language (and its absurdity) and also repetition. That kind of thing is difficult to do well. Sometimes it just doesn't click. But they're (both) pretty high on clickage.

Suggestion

Dear toy makers,

Could you please add, as an optional accessory, a zippered bag in which this man can carry a severed head at all times, just in case he needs it?

Thank you.

Separated at birth? 

Hobbyhorse

1) UGA to renovate dorms with imaginary money. I'm sure it'll come from somewhere, but all this REF stuff is pretty up in the air right now.

2) Bike cops let you know: it ain't the heat; it's the humidity.

Winding their way through crowds of men with wilted collars and women fanning themselves, Johnson said, "We get the same old comments all the time, with people saying, 'It sure is hot.' "

...Anthony said his uniform has become so saturated with perspiration, "It felt like I was wearing Saran Wrap."

Officers often report for duty on hot and humid days with two or three extra uniforms so they can change when they become soaked with sweat, Johnson said.

Can we add some extra T's to that "hot"?

3) Occasionally, people don't do what they're supposed to.

4) Anonymous residents of Maysville think their local government is much like the Taliban. So don't drive through town listening to music with your windows down.

5) Police chief wants to be able to arrest you for taking a picture of a MARTA train or bus.

6) Another Repub in the ring for Sec of State.

7) Perdue will be in Watkinsville next Saturday, when you can schedule a five-minute chat with him.

8) You mean funding might have something to do with increasing graduation rates?

9) I presume ABH veterans can verify that this is exactly how the editorial meetings go.

10) Phillip Fulmer is a drama queen.

Update:
11) Hassiotis just pointed out the beautiful brevity of this R&B headline.

[bugmenot ABH]

Rhetorical?

10:30 a.m.
Is Hip-Hop Making Jesus Cool?
Moderator: Donald Lawrence - Singer, Songwriter, and Producer

Today's Gospel Music… is it inspiration for a new generation or "junk-in-the-trunk" sold to the highest bidder? We've seen the violence, sexual images and drug abuse associated with hip-hop music. Yet, Hip Hop influences fashion, advertising, businesses, every day lifestyles, mainstream music and now, Gospel music. From the "Jesus is My Homeboy" t-shirt rage, to Kanye West's Jesus Walks… Hip Hop influence is everywhere. Is it about Jesus and the word, or is it all about sales? Are the beats diluting the message?? More importantly, is the traditional Church ready to embrace a generation of hip hoppers regardless of their beliefs, lifestyles or musical tastes to fill the pews? We'll explore the Hip Hop phenomenon and its impact on the Gospel Music Industry.

Part of NABFEME's summit, as emailed to me by Mr. Brown. There is much amusement packed into a small area here, but we must ask at least two questions:

1) Aren't y'all supposed to think Jesus is cool already?

2) Do you really not know what "junk in the trunk" means?

Look, I know penguins are the new pandas and all,

But Nnocent is the new penguins. (Do please click to find out what "the answer" is.) Thanks be to LD, who saw fit to inform me in an advance OSIS that this kid is performing at his firm's happy hour today. To get an idea of what that'll be like, watch the EPK in the media section of his site until you get to the last performance, where there are a bunch of dudes in suits standing around mostly awkwardly. It is awesome. There is also a brief photo montage set to music, but my favorite stuff is him performing in front of kids, who seem to think it's pretty great.

Ow, my ears

If anything, this CD by an Atlanta band called Honestly (yeah, really) is harder to review than the DMB one earlier this year. I don't want to crush their fragile little dreams, but then, it seems from their website that I don't have a chance of even denting those dreams. Also, they suck. The first song, that streams when you go to the site, has some decent guitar (a la The High Speed Scene), but the vocals hurt me. Could you be more boring? Ugh. What can I say about this?

Vicious

One thing discovered, or really more confirmed, by last night's Blow Out marathon is the problem with habitual lateness and also with revenge, because the two are often combined. I think I've made it clear before that, while I don't get up in my friends' faces about it or anything (or even mention it because, as Emily Gilmore says, it's called "rising above it"), I do believe that punctuality is a virtue of sorts, and the extent to which constant lateness is now the norm for people bothers me (and makes me feel like an old fogey who says you can't put your elbows on the table or wear flip-flops to the White House). Apologies are fine for being late unexpectedly or rarely, but other than that, plan ahead. Being constantly late shows disrespect for other people and their time. And while you might say it doesn't matter when everyone is late all the time, even people who are late get annoyed with those who are later. What's even worse than this circle that's created (people showing up later and later because they know everyone else will too), though, is vindictive lateness, when you punish someone for being late by being yet later yourself. They both produce the same effect, but malicious lateness is deliberate rudeness, as opposed to mere thoughtlessness. They both suck, but the latter is much more forgivable. You want to know how to get along with people, Jonathan and others of your ilk? Don't be an asshole. It's pretty simple.

Oh, it's on

Am I doing a god damn thing from 6 p.m. to at least midnight tonight? I am not. I have been waiting for this moment, Jonathan. Shampoo, take me away.

Admittedly, a marathon is not quite as good as zipping through something on dvd, and Bravo sucks with its "after the break" bullshit that gives things away so you have to put your fingers in your ears and make noises, but still. Six, maybe seven hours of hair and cockfights and crying (oh, lots of crying)? This is why I didn't bother to watch it in its regular slot. I knew Bravo would come through for me. Don't bother to call because I'm only getting up to get more pizza, to get popsicles, and to pee.

Short-term memory loss

Or maybe this qualifies as long-term.

MTV looking into creating Beavis & Butthead video game.

MTV. Sweetie. You already did this.

Brunosity

So, yes, Bruni still manages to sound a bit like a douche in this week's column, but he's right that open kitchens are far too common these days. I don't understand what the hell he means with this paragraph:

I'm glad to hear it. While open kitchens have their place and appeal, the forms they have taken and the compromises they have demanded at places like BLT Fish and Café Gray make me wonder whether the relationship between customers and cooks is out of whack. Is the kitchen open primarily for our enjoyment or for theirs?

Why would you ever wonder if it's for the kitchen employees' enjoyment? Is it enjoyable to have to restrain yourself from cursing or worry about embarrassing yourself in front of customers by dropping a pan? Does he mean it's enjoyable for egomaniacs like Bobby Flay so they can receive a bit more attention than they normally do? Because that's the only way I can see it. At any rate, I'm not big on the open kitchen. If anything, it seems like something designers have pushed more than patrons or chefs. [bugmenot NYT]

Hobbyhorse

1) Regents starting the Chancellor hunt. Interim to be named soon, probably from within system. Amazingly, there's a student on the advisory committee. Shipp gives a laundry list of reasons a lot of people might not want the job.

2) Soloski will appeal to Regents, because there's such a huge chance they differ from Mike Adams on this issue.

3) New veep of research is expert in biomedical area, pointing to UGA's desire to expand there.

4) Artists of Athens and surrounding area not starving. Thank god for catfood sandwiches.

5) Fuck air quality. CertainTeed pretty likely to get their permit. Howevs...

One case of cancer per 100,000 people per lifespan is considered an acceptable number by environmental regulators, and CertainTeed's emission fall within that guideline, according to EPD toxicologist Randy Manning - a definition that prompted outrage from some audience members.

"Is the economics more important than that one cancer death?" Ken Starratt said.

Dude, the line has to be drawn somewhere, doesn't it? You can argue with where it's drawn but not that it should be at all. Some of these people seem like wackos, but I'm not sure I like CertainTeed expanding either. Sure, it won't raise the pollution in Athens's atmosphere that much, but it will raise it, and anyone who's ever breathed here, especially in the summer, knows we are borderline in terms of acceptable.

6) ARMC expansion plans being presented today.

7) Eh, they're all the same, those escape movies. Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen. Who can tell the difference anyway?

8) Wouldn't an hour-long lap dance get pretty chafy? And it is funny when the guy using the much older technology is the threat.

9) ABH supports extending DST, but points out also that as far as energy-conserving measures go, this one sucks.

10) Tailgate Station rep says they're working with ACC on rail-trail issue. Hey, maybe we should get a story on it. This guy says interstates in the mountains suck, but opposes taco stands.

11) Pete thinks Chasteen and McCarter are ignoring Flagpole. Well nuh duh. Party-hataz not wanted. Cf. letter. There's also more on BikeAthens (second item), including how Brad Aaron thinks the controversy has been amplified (what else we got to do around here?) and is practically overrun with cyclists every time he leaves the house.

12) AJC op-ed complains that Grady makes it confusing for transfer students in particular. And response.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Cocked eyebrow

So apparently Comedy Central is working on fake sports news as well as regular fake news and fake punditry.

Comedy Central VP of development and original programming Jim Sharp said "Sports Central" would tackle sports the way Stewart tackles news.

"You'll be able to watch this show and get the sports headlines, the same way a lot of people actually turn to 'Daily Show' for their news," he said. "A lot of it will be observational. We'll let people hang themselves. You can run tape of (Texas Rangers pitcher) Kenny Rogers attacking a cameraman and it practically speaks for itself."

But this is going to be a lot trickier. It's not that the pomposity and gossip obsession of regular sports news (read: Sportscenter) couldn't use a little skewering, but there's an important difference here. The 18- to 34-year-old males who are Comedy Central's target don't watch real news and real punditry (because they think it's dumb or possibly because they're lazy). They do watch real sports news and therefore may have less of a sense of humor about it. Also, that quote from Sharp is not so promising. If you're just going to show clips of people acting like idiots and not provide me with either parody or insight, I would much rather watch PTI, which understands and mocks the silliness of sports journalism probably at least as well as this new project does. [via]

Love for Love

I think Josh is doing a nice job with this essay, jerkasses in the comments section of it aside. I'm not sure I have much to add other than to say nice job.

Tiding

Three reviews in the F-pole this week: David Fridlund (Mr. Brown went ick and said he sounded like Norah Jones), Tullycraft (who seem to make Darkness want to puke), and Fat Joe (covered better by Al in Stylus).

Police Blotter (it's the details, we tells ya edition)

An extra P makes a lot of difference:

Escape: On July 22, an inmate on trusty status escaped from the Oconee County Jail. Richard McGaha, 25, who was incarcerated on a probation violation, walked away from a trash detail at the sheriff's office about 8:15 a.m. A search, including the use of a helicopter, took place, but McGaha could not be located. About 3:35 p.m. July 23, the sheriff's office received a report of a man wearing black and white pants standing on the side of Simonton Bridge Road. As the person passed in a car, the suspicious man jumped back into the woods. Deputy Shawn Burns arrived, accompanied by four deputies who spread out in the area. Burns heard some branches breaking in the woods and when he knelt down, he could see the stripped pants. ''I yelled out 'You better stop Richard and give yourself up.''' McGaha then surrendered. He was charged with felony escape.

Does the brand name mean a more severe sentence?

Arrest: On July 23, deputy Laura Teet was dispatched about 8: 35 p.m. to an accident on Ga. Highway 186, where she observed a pickup laying on its side and a trailer with a tractor and bush hog. EMS workers were checking the driver, who smelled of alcohol. Russell A. West, 38, of Rutledge explained he had been mowing all day and drank about a six pack of beer. He was charged with DUI, having an open container of Coors, reckless driving, failing to maintain a lane and having an unsecured load.

All the rest here.

Personal business

Yo y'all. Team Brown is trying to weed a bunch out of its DVD collection. We do this whenever it overflows the shelves too much. I've put a bunch up on my sad little arches page, with bad design I mostly took from Zig. Not much response from the staff listserv, so hey, I'm trying here too. I'm gonna stick the link over on the sidebar for a while too. And feel free to mock the selection. You are hereby granted permission.

Newsflash

Ninjas talk like the dude from Cameo.

Reimagining

TV Guide no longer guide to TV. [via]

Hobbyhorse

1) Not Evans, but Williamson, and not balls deep, but deep enough. Note that this well may include male-on-male sexual harrassment:

UGA police Lt. Roderick Platt's July 17 complaint alleges Williamson's behavior and management style created a hostile working environment that's fostered low morale. "Jimmy has continued to use his position of authority to make threats, intimidate and spread his sexually explicit and harassing behavior upon me and other employees throughout the police department," wrote Platt, who is a UGA detective.

Though this complaint... I dunno.

"In addition, he has made racial slurs and expressed his conservative political views in front of others and myself without prefacing it by asking if we would be offended or what our political views are," Platt wrote in a letter accompanying the complaint.

Not exactly valid. I mean, it's not polite on Williamson's part, but politeness, unfortunately, isn't required in the workplace. If this were all of it, it wouldn't be worth looking at, but it's mos def not.

2) He shouldn't be counting on any help from Adams though, as el presidente has turned down Soloski's request for an independent review of his case, saying that he was "afforded all rights of due process" (as the university defines it) and that the penalties were really lenient. Because having your reputation ruined is apparently nothing to cry about.

3) The picture that accompanies this article, to me, encapsulates why I like living in the South. Because it is a land of much confusion and complexity. Someone should stick this on an album cover. (Also, Jesse Jackson did show.)

4) Meanwhile the ports still sit largely uninspected.

5) Or the world might be sitting at its desk, eating a granola bar, completely unaware until after the fact. That too.

6) John Barrow, still not going out on any limbs. But a partial repeal is better than no repeal at all.

7) Yes, the radical voice that is the ABH should have been screaming about possible greenspace incursion in front-page headlines. Mmm hmm. What paper do you read?

8) Jim Wooten doesn't understand the reason for the school funding suit.

The suit presents a fascinating opportunity for inquiry --- none of which, incidentally, belongs in court. The adequacy of school funding is a matter for education policy-makers and the people's elected representatives in the General Assembly. "There has not been an appropriation at the higher level they want, which is, of course the nub of their case," the state argued in asking that the suit be dismissed.

You know, the state is right, but that's no reason to dismiss the case. When the legislature shows no interest in addressing your concerns, you can take it to another part of the system. That's one reason we have different parts.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

But no hamdog among them

Actually, the title of this article sounds much more like a threat than a friendly suggestion.

Knowledge is valuable

What with the security cameras posted around downtown Athens, national debate over putting them up on every corner, and harmless Brazilian dudes getting plugged multiple times for jumping a turnstile, WFMU's Beware of the Blog points you to an important public service at FaceAnalyzer.com. According to my sort of basic Friendster photo, I am 38% Eastern European, 2% Southern European, and 59% Anglo Saxon, as well as 0% East Indian, Middle Eastern, South East Asian, Korean/Japanese, and Chinese. Translation: whitey-mcwhiterton. I rank average in intelligence, ambition, honor, politeness, and sociability and low in risk and promiscuity, have a very low "gay factor," and should apparently be making $30-50K. Sigh. I'm not even living up to the expectations of my face. My celebrity match is Madonna (woo!) and my archetype "Beta Academic":

You are a long-term planner, diligent worker and avoid risk as much as possible. You are of above average intelligence and have the ability to focus on tasks that seem unimportant at present, but can lead to greater things in the foreseeable future. You are not keen to interact with others or make social connections. You would rather gain material wealth before putting yourself in a position to be judged. You are not confrontational unless someone directly opposes your intellectual beliefs. You are highly concerned with your social status. You are keen to avoid risks that could jeopardize your long-term plans. You take a calculated approach to life, working hard to control all aspects of it in order to not leave anything important to chance.

You tend to be a perfectionist and quite self-conscious. You sometimes wish you were less reserved and more like some others you see who are more bold and outspoken in social situations. But as much as you try to be like them, you cannot, because you care too much about the future to ever be comfortable taking risks in social situations.

Your view of other types
Academic types can end up rich but it will take longer than with Boss types. You see Boss types as potential business clients and as great resources to expand your contacts. Therefore you treat them with respect. For the most part you do not respect Artist types, however there are some Alpha Artists that you give some credit to. You look down upon Blue collar types as you consider them ignorant. You see White collar types as unsuccessful versions of yourself, but because of work situations you may have to interact with them often. You have very little in common with Charmers, therefore you avoid them. You consider Gambler types to make foolish decisions, and for the most part you do not interact with them. At times you feel sorry for Drifters.

Other types' view of you
Boss types consider you to be a valuable resource of advice. They constantly interact with you to make better decisions and they often respect your opinion. For the most part Artist types do not interact with you for they rather take it easy. They however may like you because of your knowledge of subjects that they find interesting. Blue collar types find you boring and uptight, they have very little in common with you. White collar types may respect your accomplishments and ambition. Charmer types regard you as mostly withdrawn from life and too uppity to hang around with. Gambler types think that because you play so safe you miss out on great opportunities. Drifter types have no regard for you, because your repetitive routines seem boring to them.

Beta academic: Not as intelligent or ambitious as Alpha Academics, but still focused on being materially successful.

Expected Occupations: Lawyer, Doctor, Investment Analyst, Accountant, Architect, Engineer, Professor, Researcher, Psychologist

Go and enjoy.

Vote?

VMA nominees posted. Many nice choices among them. Am sort of rooting for Kanye to win video of the year, a) because I'd like to see the acceptance speech, and b) because there is something more interesting about his video than the others nominated (e.g., it feels more like Kanye just got some friends together and shot it one weekend and less like an actual director was involved). I'd go with Usher for "best male video," Kelly (nuh duh) for "best female video," and probably The Killers for "best group video." Note that Akon is up in the MTV2 award category, which you can actually vote on, but for "Locked Up" rather than "Lonely," and the White Stripes got a nod for "Blue Orchid" (filed under "best direction").

All of you who make the fun

There is a reason besides idle amusement to watch America's Funniest Home Videos. And that reason is education.

The following things are off-limits: pinatas, snowmobiles, bike ramps, ATVs, holding a baby directly over one's face, and cutting down a tree without the help of professionals. Do they ever end well? Perhaps occasionally, but it is a question of risk versus reward.

Average It Up (U.K. edition)

1) Eminem, "Ass Like That" -- Sort of covered, but more the video than the song. Anyway, it's weak, especially for Em, but it's not that bad. It's just sort of slower and less interesting (esp flow-wise) than usual. The ba-doing-doing-doing bit is catchy enough, though. 3.

2) Madness, "Shame and Scandal" -- They do seem awfully middle-aged, down to the dancing. Hard to tell if the production is really this bad, or if it's just the online factor. Pretty boring, even the horns, but not outright awful enough to be interesting. 3. (video here)

3) Daniel Powter, "Bad Day" -- Am with Jessica on this one, just not as emphatically. It's gag-inducingly cute (the video most of all) and yet that doesn't mean it's not actually cute. And while the lyrics are dumb and the tune not anything new, the chorus is singable and upbeat. Question: does singer singing on subway equate to singer singing on bus in video? And if so, is it also outlawed? 5. (video on official site)

4) Common, "Go" -- Covered and rated.

5) Natalie Imbruglia, "Counting Down the Days" -- Yadda yadda, time is passing. It's not hard to get the idea without the video rubbing it in your face constantly. Major props for inclusion of Xerox noise (is this in the radio version?) and, yes, the bells are neat. Ending fades out awkwardly and suddenly. Her voice is okay on it. Am torn (heh) between a 4 and a 5. (launch Australia has the video)

6) Uniting Nations, "You and Me" -- Hee! This is what I like to imagine the workplace is like in England, with hot girls (two senses of the word) molesting the office mail boy, or at least everyone thinking about it. Pure sugar. An almost perfect little Euro-pop dance song (almost because I could swear I've heard that exact beat before). I'm giving it an 8, but that doesn't mean it'll necessarily make my singles of the year list. (video here)

7) Martin Solveig, "Everybody" -- Too long, but weird and interesting. Truly rock DJ. Who stuck Jimi Hendrix in the blender with Electric Six? 5. (listen here)

8) Lethal Bizzle, "Uh Oh (I'm Back)" -- The beat is cool, with little squeaks embedded in it, and I like his vocal style, but this is way too repetitive, even if, yeah, it's fun to say "uh oh, uh oh" over and over again. 4. (ecard streams clip of song, or you can register to watch video)

9) Bonnie Prince Billy and Matt Sweeney, "I Gave You" -- Not best-of Will Oldham, a la "I See a Darkness," but still haunting and making good use of his voice. Really, this could be more painful than it is, and that might improve it. Is that the sound of a car beeping when the door has been left open at the beginning? Because I like that a lot. 6. (video here)

10) Dancing DJs vs. Roxette, "Fading Like a Flower" -- No luck here.

11) Bananarama, "Move in My Direction" -- That little purr-stutter as this kicks off is damn cool. Can we call this the week of incidental noises that make their songs better? Again the beat's not creative enough, but the stuff layered right on top of it's better, and there's no question it's pretty catchy. For a comeback, it's also way good, but isn't it bad when the bits they're not singing are the ones you look forward to hearing again? 6. (video here)

Paging a Mr. I.P. Freely

It's been a while since we brought you the latest in urinal technology, but now you have Gizmodo to do that. July 15, 19, and 25 entries have discussed innovations in this area. And there's a tag for it, so you need never miss a story.

Hobbyhorse

1) In other important university news, air conditioning to be added to building. You know, it's not like the system chief just stepped down or the history department's heading straight to hell because of abuse of the open records act or there are wild rumors flying about the athletic department and sexual harrassment or anything. There's not any real news to cover at the university.

2) Crack still out there, but less so.

3) Two strikes bullshit.

4) Clarke County at least seems to be making an effort as far as letting parents know how to remove their kids' info from military recruiting lists, as required by NCLB.

5) Another drawback of HB 437, which passed through the legislature and was signed during this past session, is that it could possibly hide nepotism. But this seems a small concern relative to the anti-union intention of the bill. Also, the nepotism scandals that did exist seem to be mitigated a little by the fact that the policy in place at the time "did not disallow it."

6) States totally running.

One of McCarter's planks is to "lead more efficient and focused commission meetings," a policy that might have come in handy last month, when McCarter made his initial mayoral announcement to an audience of zero at the end of a marathon seven-hour meeting.

Meow, ABH. Carl Jordan wants more openness in government, esp in terms of what's posted online, while those opposed to his changes think the public is a ass and don't have time.

7) Middle schools generally screwed.

8) Norwood will probably be your representative next year, Athens, even though he's all about this Interstate 3 idea.

Opponents say I-3 would damage fragile mountain forest areas, hurt tourist economies and would be a multibillion-dollar waste of money because it would be just 15 miles shorter than existing interstate links between Savannah and Knoxville.

Whether it gets built or not, we're probably going to spend $400K looking at the issue.

9) Ballooniversity. Vegas-themed, at that.

10) Dude, to some extent, I agree, but telling people not to get angry about a lynching doesn't usually work so well. Also, Jim learns about the world of flip-flops.

11) Shipp calls Georgia a "national disgrace" wrt ballot box access. Notes, near the end, that Cynthia McKinney's supporting Mark Taylor for gov, something I'm sure he's thrilled about.

12) Tailgate Station may shoot down rail-to-trail chances.

13) Letter writer not thrilled with day laborer shelter at Home Depot, but not for the reasons you might expect. And JMac makes fun of States's spelling.

14) Chronicle has a piece on disclosure and nondisclosure of donor info for universities. Props to Clyde.

15) More on Pollack's Press. Greene could drink Caleb Harris's frappachinos once a day.

[bugmenot ABH]

Hypnotic

TLC showed this Jump Britain thing this weekend, and it was fascinating to watch. Basically, dudes from Nike ad you may remember, jump and run all the fuck over Britain, in high style. It is like creative monkeyness, in that there is a great deal of incredible grace, much the way that animals move, but also there are flourishes, which presumably animals wouldn't add. Often, there is no reason to jump here rather than there. That is, there are superfluous jumps and things like kicks and splits, which are only there to make it lovelier. Here's a clip, set to Eminem, which should give you an idea. Bets on how long before some teenager gets killed doing this now being taken. (It'll be on again Thursday night.)

But only kind of

"They kind of keep the genitalia from flopping around, is the best I could tell you," says Dr. William O. Roberts, a past president of the American College of Sports Medicine.

Productivity

  i.e., This would be one thing Team Brown accomplished this weekend, mostly involving the skills of Mr. Brown and the encouragement and sage advice of Mrs. Brown. When you're getting ready to paint a wall and sanding down all the bumps and spackling (then sanding) the dings, and, incidentally, wondering what in the name of holy hell anyone could have done to put them all there (were they skateboarding in the hall?), you might encounter this evil, the anchor screw. The better solution, when you want to hang something heavy and can't find a stud, is simply not to hang it at all or find another place to do so. These things are a nightmare to get out and an eyesore when in. Luckily, all this led to the discovery of Williams Hardware on the Eastside, the smell of which (pet food, the universal scent of all hardware stores) brought back memories aplenty to both parties. It still takes forever to fix even a tiny hole about the size of a quarter, but it is very satisfying, and will be even more so once covered with paint and hopefully indistinguishable from the rest of the wall. This has been your visual lesson in home improvement.

I don't care if he's a nutjob

This is the best name for a movie ever. I want to get a pet just so I can name it this.

Misc

1) Where I can get me some of dem?

2) This Imogen Heap song purty. Much like the harmonies in that Oak Ridge Boys cover, these are overwhelming. Happy button pushing.

Hobbyhorse

1) T. Mer outie, bitches. A year, my ass. No one is surprised except for those who are obligated to express it.

Some rumors have pointed to Adams as a possible successor, but Adams said Thursday that he is "very happy being president of (UGA), and that's what I want to do and hope to do."

"I don't think I'd like being a (University) System person," he said. "I'm a campus person."

But NeSmith said he would like to see regents look for a candidate within the system.

"I think that would be a big plus," he said. "We have some people who would be very capable of filling that position."

Would this be better? Or would it be worse? Meredith's actually taking a pay cut, all things considered, which shows how happy he must've been here.

2) Commission now balking at Department of Labor office funding with bonds. It'll still be built, but funded by someone else. McCarter hearts Chick-fil-A.

3) Pink is the new T.R. Cobb house?

4) Soon to be ex-Madison County Commissioner Scoggins a stand-up guy. Also, cans corn.

5) Minority students making more gains academically (relatively) than white kids.

6) No, punching his wife lands man in jail. But there are clearly food and drink issues abounding.

7) I swear to frickin' God. If you mention that damn sales tax plan to fund public education again... I'll be forced to issue some sort of challenge.

8) Des Williams is out for the year, but this means we might see even more two-back sets. Also, Tavares Kearney seems to have behaved like an idiot.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Average It Up (U.S. edition)

1) Mario, "Here I Go Again" -- Covered and rated.

2) Teairra Mari feat. Jay-Z, "Make Her Feel Good" -- Okay, so she's adorable and knows how to work the camera no question, but this song is weak. When I played Keyshia Cole for Mr. Brown last night, he thought she sounded like every other R&B chick out there, but it ain't so. This, on the other hand, mostly does. Efforts at a beat are kind of appreciated, but you need this thing called a melody. If she thinks she can play with Cole and Amerie, she's dreamin'. 3. (listen at AOL music)

3) Paul Wall, "Sittin' Sidewayz" -- Discussed briefly in the comments here, but not rated. I like his brethren more. Beat not complicated or catchy enough. 5. Or maybe 4. It gets boring. (video here at iFilm)

4) Natalie feat. Baby Bash, "Energy" -- Hint: If you start your song off with those water drops, you're about halfway there to me liking it. The Baby Bash guest spot is a little quieter and less fun than he usually is, but this is a soft cruising song rather than a party track. Maybe a bit repetitive and not up to the standards of his solo stuff, though about par for her. 5. Again. It just seems that a lot of tracks lately have aspects I like, but aren't pushed into the range of love or even "really want to hear again." (listen here)

5) Rob Thomas, "This Is How a Heart Breaks" -- At least it's fast, but this isn't nearly as awesome as "Lonely No More" (which I shouldn't have only given a 5 when I first listened to it; it's more like a 6 or even a 7) and it's too long (almost 4 minutes). Less melodic, too. I do like thinking that that's Tom Cruise chasing him in the video, though. 4. (you can watch it on his site, if you can locate the "video" section)

6) The Killers, "All These Things That I've Done" -- Best track of this bunch. So they're a bit heavy on the eye makeup, these dudes do know the hit single. Smaller than some previous ones in sound, but still just darn well done and singable. The "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" bit may make no sense and sound stupid, but it's hooky as hell. Video is a nice piece of work too, told out of order with numbered cue cards to clue you in to where scenes go and featuring: cowboys, killer sluts, waterproof mascara, burro, midget, boomerang, and more. Worth giving Island your info to watch it. 7. (video here)

And again

So the flipside to Gopnik's Comment is the long piece in the same issue by William Finnegan on NYPD's efforts to prevent terrorist attacks in NYC. Also, of course, not posted online. This week is incredibly weak as far as what is posted (Talk of the Town, all critical pieces, sub-par fiction by Tobias Wolff, and Sy Hersh's scattered article on manipulation of the elections in Iraq, which, though explosive in content, isn't very well written), and all the best bits seem not to be (the article on leeches is also really good). Anyway, there is a Q&A with Finnegan, which may give you some idea of what the piece itself is like, but essentially, while it contains a few squirmy bits for someone as enamored of the ACLU as I am, it treats the problem as one of law enforcement rather than military action and focuses on prevention, the way that fear-mongering is often counterproductive, and working with the community rather than against it. I can't say I'd be comfortable in the slightest with SWAT teams showing up in full gear and assault rifles for a reason not given to the public, but when I try to be calm and moderate about the issue, it's possible for me to feel that maybe, maybe their methods might be working.

Downburst

That's the word they're using to describe the wind and the storm that cropped up out of the fucking blue last night. Team Brown has learned a valuable lesson and thankfully not through direct experience. You know those cart corrals in the grocery store parking lot? They can tip over. Backwards. One minute there was vague rumbling, and the next maybe the strongest burst of wind and rain I've ever seen, and the power went out briefly in the Kroger, meaning no one could pay with credit or debit, and the ATM was down, and it was all just quite a lot of drama, especially seeing huge puddles in the parking lot several inches deep after maybe 10 minutes of rain and gravel (gravel? from where?) scattered all over the place. Nature can be one scary bitch.

Foie

I love John Kessler. He's a nice guy and a good writer, but this article on how there might be too much foie gras in our lives is ridiculous.

I think foie gras makes an incredible treat a couple of times a year, which is about as often as I care to consider the fat and relative moral implications. I look forward to it when we go to an absurdly expensive restaurant for a birthday, or when my brother-in-law brings a terrine from his home in France to Christmas dinner.

How many of y'all are eating foie gras more than a couple of times a year? It's one thing if you're a food critic. I'm sure you have to eat plenty of it then (though not if you're in Athens, yo). But the average American is not getting an excess of foie gras in his or her diet. On the other hand, he does describe the taste really well:

If you've never tried foie gras because you don't like liver, you don't know what you're missing. Banish any thought of bitterness or Mom's Wednesday liver and onions. The flavor of foie is mild and sweet, and it turns around slowly on your tongue — the taste equivalent of watching a skater do a triple lutz in slo-mo.

[bugmenot AJC]

Juxtapose

And because it goes so darn well with the below post, I direct to you Copy, Right's posting of the Oak Ridge Boys' cover of "Carry On Wayward Son," which is totally good ol' boy and gorgeous on the chorus harmonies.

Urg

Also, in the same New Yorker issue, Adam Gopnik gets to do the "comment," this one on the London bombings, of course. And it's kind of painful to read in the way that it wavers all over the place politically (kind of like Remnick's stuff does frequently). And there's this paragraph:

One early casualty, for instance, was “The Power of Nightmares,” an influential three-part BBC series that argued that Al Qaeda does not exist, except as a kind of collective hallucination on the part of American neoconservatives. This hypothesis, and, with it, the theory that the terrorist threat was manufactured or hyped, had become extremely powerful on the respectable left. To be fair, the show’s producers never argued that there were no Islamist terrorists—their argument was, instead, that there was no coördinated network of terrorists run by an old Man of the Mountain in hiding. But the popular, anti-Blair, dinner-table view had long ago become that the terrorist threat was exaggerated, or that it wasn’t immediate. That view was destroyed in a morning.

So the show was right? But now it's irrelevant because people are scared again? What the?

Follow-up

Hassi just pointed me to Kelefa Sanneh's take on JessSimp's "These Boots Are Made for Walking" video and song. He also makes the connection to the Paris Hilton Carl's Jr. ad. It's a good analysis, though it doesn't mention what I've come to think is the key to the creepiness of her performance: her overly white teeth. Seriously. They're about as bad as that episode of Friends where Ross goes crazy with the bleacher. And when combined with her fake-n-bake skin tone, the effect is just too contrast-heavy. It makes her look like she's about to take a bite out of you. [bugmenot NYT]

Hobbyhorse

1) UGA Real Estate Foundation picks a new head, who will make a mere $156K (with a possible bonus of $25K more at year end), as compared to his predecessor's $305K salary. Practically food-stamp worthy. Of course, as things currently stand, it looks like the Real Estate Foundation may not be taking on any new projects, depending on whether it continues to be the group that does such things for the university.

2) Summer enrollment down indeed, but by far less than this earlier article made it seem. Actually up on UGA campus proper. Rational explanation provided.

3) MTV, how can you say no to this face?

4) Local opinions on Roberts offer nothing new.

5) Vote on commuter rail delayed a month.

6) ABH calls out Ten Commandments Georgia.

7) Letter-writer explains why scalping student tickets isn't cool. Another one has a different take on the success and failure of downtown businesses. And this lady complains about tailgating idiots. Right on, sister.

8) Yet more coverage for the Damn Show, including this revealing quote:

"Back in the day, we'd all just get in the room and throw a bunch of ideas and write them all down. We'd never write scripts - we never had one script for anything for 'The Damn Show,'" said Waco. "We may have had a couple of ideas, but we never wrote a script."

Really?

9) Letter writer to R&B sticks up for trailer park denizens. You can read this as ridiculous, or you can read it as nice. Calling someone "poor" seems to be an acceptable insult these days, and that ain't cool. Also, R&B cartoonist has some balls.

[bugmenot ABH]

Viddy

New Cowboy Troy, this one ("If You Don't Want to Love Me") way less up-tempo than "I Play Chicken with the Train" (parenthetical: Mr. Brown finally caught the video for that tune and was unimpressed). Sort of the country equivalent of any rap song built around an R&B hook sung by a chick with a pretty voice, only much more story-oriented and isn't that effective in that it showcases his weaknesses as a rapper. First part could well accompany the article in the NYT series on class that Hassiotis sent me, focusing on the Atlanta suburbs as an example of the almost nomadic existence of the current corporate middle-class. Second part? Well... Wait and find out. Purpology covers, but don't read it until after you watch.

Read

I could tell you to, if it were online. Anthony Grafton, who is both a major deal at Princeton and an intellectual/professor who can actually write (I read his book on Leon Battista Alberti for a class and was wowed), has a really good piece in The New Yorker on new pope Ratzinger and where the dude is coming from. But it ain't up for your consumption. The short version is that he understands that Ratzinger is an academic, and this not in the sense attackers mean it (i.e., wine-swilling ivory tower idiot who loves to play departmental politics), but in the real, deep sense. He has a great understanding of and love for church history, and the way he constructs arguments is the way an academic who is serious about scholarship does. But also, Grafton gets the limitations of exactly that, while not necessarily thinking it's any less worthwhile. Here's this bit that might clarify a little:

Ratzinger's way into a problem, then, leads through the old scholarly crafts of history and philology and the higher theological arts of hermeneutics and exegesis. He uses these tools to construct a vast argumentative structure out of solid German footnotes, mortared together with tough, sticky material from the whole range of theological and exegetical scholarship. If the foundations of this edifice are solid and heavy, its pinnacles are a high and delicately detailed tracery of paradox.

He's sort of saying that no matter how committed you are to building that kind of solid foundation for your argument, the upper levels of it are always going to be thinner and speculative, even if that is exactly what you are trying to avoid, even if you are a traditionalist, and then he ties this back into a discussion about Ratzinger's faith, so if you're reading carefully (and Grafton is just amazingly clever at stuff like this), you can see that: 1) faith is necessary for the Catholic, even the academic Catholic, but also 2) faith is somewhat necessary in order to build an intellectual argument because you can never know you're right, and 3) in this case, they overlap to supreme degree and 1 illuminates 2 as much as 2 illuminates 1. Whew.

Don't call it a comeback

The article doesn't really, but the headline does. Slate does Kells. Those of you still new to the fold may enjoy the clips embedded throughout, though they're pretty brief and don't (sigh) include "Feelin' on Yo Booty."

You could also make your way to Yahoo's Launch site, where there are a number of older videos up.

Hobbyhorse

1) UGA realizes sticking people's SS numbers on everything might not be the best idea. Yes, they've taken them off IDs, but they're still on tons of other stuff. First, there has to be a consulting period where a firm that's been hired will figure out what exactly they do appear on. And then, someday, it'll be changed. Except for on payroll. And probably in some other areas. Yay!

2) School ceilings eat workers.

3) Person who actually removed the Ten Commandments display in Winder is also scared of freakazoids, wants to remain anonymous.

"I do know they're down, and I do know who did (take the display down), but I can't say (who took it down)," Garrison said Tuesday morning.

Commissioner Bill Brown, who hung the Ten Commandments in the courthouse in 2002, declined to say whether he removed the display from the breezeway, but did not deny he was the one. He likewise declined to comment on the judge's order.

Attention, Barrow Countians: You can now go back to feeling uncomfortable in your courthouse for the more normal reasons. Ten Commandments Georgia, the foundation that funded the legal battle, won't pay John Doe's fees, leaving the county in the lurch.

4) Commission lets Starbucks put tables outside again, temporarily. Store manager has recruited help of Chamber of Commerce, who kinda want to change the rules re sidewalk cafes entirely.

5) Vinson poll shows majority wants the state to fill in the gaps in funding between rich and poor school districts.

If so many people feel that way, why haven't politicians already increased state spending to close the gap between rich and poor counties? Martin has a guess. "There are a lot of people who think that solving a problem in one part of Georgia will come at their expense," he said.

You mean rich people? Hell yeah it will.

6) Rail to Atlanta looks like it might die. Anti-choo-choo-train faction is strong. There's a bit about it in this article in the Gwinnett Daily Post too. Basically, if the rail line doesn't make enough money, the Federal Highway Administration will take its funds back.

7) ABH says ACTION board better stay interested, remembers Bo Turner.

8) Shipp piques our interest big-time:

Not again!: Another high-profile sexual misconduct case is said to be brewing at the University of Georgia, this time in the controversy-hounded athletics department. The latest episode could prove to be even more embarrassing to UGA than the recent forced resignation of acclaimed journalism school dean John Soloski, who was accused of making inappropriate remarks to a former female aide.

9) Summation of Foundation fight from an outside perspective. If you haven't been following the whole thing, this is an excellent article that'll catch you up to speed, despite an emphasis that's maybe a bit rosy at the end.

10) Pro-CertainTeed letter seems to think NIMBY attitude is always invalid. Howevs, if the expansion ends up making it so Athens tags require an emissions test, maybe it'll be worth it.

[bugmenot ABH]

Police Blotter (not Trump edition)

Laura Teet can take care of herself:

Arrest: On July 15, deputy Laura Teet spotted a Pontiac Grand Prix going 84 mph on Ga. Highway 316 and upon stopping it, she noticed a piece of pool stick laying near the driver, identified as Matthew David Rogers, 20, of Ridgeway Court, Bogart. She called for backup. Rogers denied drinking, but became argumentative, so she waited for deputy Chad Parr to arrive before getting him out of the vehicle. Rogers' eyes were red and his speech slurred, but she had to press him against the hood of the vehicle to get him handcuffed. She placed him in the patrol car, where he began kicking the interior. She told him to stop or she would "tase'' him with her electric stun gun. He continued to curse when he saw Parr searching his car. Teet drew her taser, turned it on, opened the door and pointed it at Rogers, who said "OK, OK, don't tase me.'' She warned him again not to kick the car and he said "yes mam.'' She drove him to jail and enroute he remarked "Remind me not to be arrested by a (expletive) female cop.'' At the jail, Rogers announced that he had more money than Bill Clinton. He warned the deputies that he had already beat Oglethorpe County in a case and he was going to do it here too. Rogers told Teet she better get prepared to get her rear end kicked because Jeff Rothman was his lawyer. She charged him with speeding, obstruction, possession of alcohol and disorderly conduct. Parr found some Bud Light in the car.

This is so the look for fall:

Burglary: On July 16, a burglar alarm went off at the Bank of America office on Epps Bridge Parkway. Deputy Brad Williams was the first on the scene and he observed a broken window. Sgt. James Hale arrived and the bank manager was called. No one was inside, but security cameras showed that a man entered the building, walked to the middle of the bank, where he stretched and then left the way he came in. He was described as a black male, wearing shorts, a tank top and a glove on his left hand. A pack of Camel cigarettes were found outside the bank.

The rest is here.

Hustle

I'm not on board with the take going around that there are no summer songs this year. There are plenty. It's just that most of them are jamz rather than anthems. Girls Aloud would like to correct this situation. If you're lucky, their "Long Hot Summer" will still be at this link.

Blood, water

The former is thicker than the latter, but neoprene is thicker than both of them. This is my sister. I hope she doesn't get eaten by a shark, but I don't think it's all that likely up in Portland.

Different strokes

And approaches. SFJ talks about "Trapped in the Closet" and my review of the album runs in Flagpole.

Here is a short route to happiness

I don't know if the Buddha says this or not, but here is a short lesson in serenity:

learn to appreciate the mediocre.

Yeah, I know. Either it seems too simple or you just don't want to do it. From goings on here and here it just bubbled up. We spend rather too much of our time in search of the best and yet, in doing that, we don't even run an accurate search, just one that we think is efficient. We don't think about the law of diminishing returns. We cut pleasure out of our lives. Which is better: experiencing one moment of transcendent awesomeness in your entire life or many smaller ones? None of this is to say that there aren't transcendent awesomenesses out there, just that there is a bunch of stuff in the middle between "suck" and "perfect," and if you are perennially unhappy with all of that stuff, then you, grasshopper, are going to be unhappy a lot of the time.

Hobbyhorse

1) Foundation changeover is official today.

Most of the changes will be "completely unnoticeable to the outside world," Wrigley said. Donations and gifts will be processed by the same people in the same ways.

The UGA Foundation will pay the university for the work done by UGA employees for the foundation.

Those employees will still solicit funds for the university, but now will ask on behalf of the Arch Foundation instead of the UGA Foundation.

And when employees answer the telephone, they will likely say "UGA External Affairs" or "development," instead of "UGA Foundation."

But what if you're trying to reach the UGA Foundation? What if you hold a grudge and want to give money specifically to that organization rather than the new one? Do the same people manage both in terms of day-to-day affairs?

2) Cause of death not listed as "struck by vengeful lightning"? (Seriously, this guy was awesome, and this news sucks.)

3) Barrow County will take its Ten Commandments display down and pay John Doe's legal fees most likely (if they can raise the money).

4) ACTION won't dissolve self, though since the motion to do so was rejected unanimously, it doesn't seem like it was exactly contentious.

5) Hoo doggie! It was about time for another one of these. I mean, what's it been? A week? ABH editorial says students should be able to scalp tickets.

6) Yeah, I'm talking to you. And you betta talk back to me, too.

7) This letter attacks a previous one that was unhappy with the ABH story on the Ed School's difficulties, but in bizarre fashion, contending that this one school is responsible for the entire state's low national rankings educationally. This one says there's an ordinance against using foul language in public. Of course there is.

[bugmenot ABH]

Average It Up (U.K. edition)

1) Stephen Fretwell, "Emily" -- This is attracting far too much hate. It's not nearly as overwrought as many a similar wussy acoustic song about a girl. The production and the vocals are appropriately simple. There's no wailing. Just because you think you're so fucking punk rock doesn't mean everyone has to be. 4. (media player will launch on his site automatically; it's the second song)

2) Heather Small, "Proud" -- So her voice is okay, but it's no C+C Music Factory. The kind of inspirational that makes you wish all inspirational stuff would go the hell away and hide itself far from the ears of the world. 1. (was able to find an anime video someone created for this here, which will at least enable you to hear the song)

3) Lee Ryan, "Army of Lovers" -- Blech. Sometimes former boy-bander means fun and up-tempo and awesomely gay. Other times it means strolling around with a fancy haircut and expressing feelings. The Fretwell might also be the latter, but it is so so much better than this, which is badly produced and totally boring. 1. (video here)

4) Louis XIV, "God Killed the Queen" -- I do think The Hives do this sort of thing better, with simple garagey spaz riffs and vocals run through something to make it sound like someone's rehearsing in mom's basement. Maybe it's the vocals themselves, as Pelle has got that bit down, but this has some good hand claps in it and it's under 2 minutes long. So credit where credit is due. 4. (media player will launch automatically and you can find the song on there, or you can find the video)

5) Bloc Party, "Pioneers" -- This is okay, but not as upbeat or disco as some of their other stuff. It feels like it never quite gets going, like there should be a giant chorus around the corner, but we're held up waiting for it looking in the window. 4. (video here)

6) Hot Hot Heat, "Middle of Nowhere" -- Again, go with the faster stuff, but at least this has louder drums, and I'm a fan of Mr. Puffy Hair's voice. There is something that suggests to me this song could be mixed with U2's "Stuck in a Moment." Arg. I should've made an effort to go when they swung through town a few days ago. Less fun than "Goodnight Goodnight," but still pretty good. 5. (video available here)

7) Maximo Park, "Going Missing" -- OMG. This is so early-90s REM with a chunkier guitar thrown in on top (or maybe even earlier; it's very "(Don't Go Back to) Rockville" in some ways). I miss early-90s REM. I miss when they were able to combine sensitivity with non-bombastic hooks. This is good. 7. (streams when you go to their site)

8) Adam Green, "Carolina" -- I thought this was one of the better tracks on the album when I reviewed it, and it holds up okay. The little dude does have a suprisingly nice deep voice, and the chorus shows off that talent for melody he has, but it's still only about a 5. Video is the stuff of R. Crumb's dreams. (click "video" on his site to find it)

9) Daddy Yankee, "Gasolina" -- Yet another track that must be too old to have been covered on here. Now ubiquitous in the states (isn't that it in some Axe shower gel ad?). It's aight, but not the genius a lot of people think. Just because it's fast and in a language you don't understand doesn't make it great. 5. (you can get a little taste on the official site)

10) Rilo Kiley, "It's a Hit" -- Very cute indie pop with country elements but also possibly glockenspiel (faintly). Meta-content is at least as silly as it was in the Bedingfield tune, but it's inevitable that almost everyone ends up writing a song about the process of writing a song. Production could be a little clearer with all those nice instruments working at once. Purty, though. 6. (streams on their site)

11) Roll Deep, "The Avenue" -- Only got a clip, but it sounds more like you've got two radio stations on at the same time than an integrated song with a strong sample. Joe Macare points out that Ghostface does this too (i.e., doesn't modify the sample much but mostly just raps over), and that's true, but Ghostface's songs at least sound like they were put together at a point in time, rather than operating on two different levels (and this in a bad way). Hard to tell, but my guess is a 3 or a 4. (clip is here)

12) Roisin Murphy, "If We're in Love" -- Video surpasses song, but song still has something that's getting to me. I don't think it's my kind of thing, but the robotic sound of the beat makes it as much android disco as any Daft Punk. I keep expecting her to rip off her human face, cock her head quizzically, and strike like lighting. 6. (video here)

13) Sway, "Up Your Speed" -- Lord but this clip was hard to find. Esp for something that's supposedly blowin' up on the UK charts. Anyway, backing sounds interesting, but vocals on top are pretty standard grime, maybe a little faster than usual. Haven't heard enough to rate it but not wowed. (clip is here, under the 3rd album)

So you can judge

Keyshia Cole, "Guess What" and "Love"

Update: Or are my titles flipped? Possibly, but you should listen to both of them anyway.

The Smallville-Faerie Queene connection?

...Whom after did a mightie man pursew
Ryding upon a Dromedare on hie,
Of stature huge, and horrible of hew,
That would have maz'd a man his dreadfull face to vew.

For from his fearefull eyes two fierie beames,
More sharpe then points of needles did proceede,
Shooting forth farre away two flaming streames,
Full of sad powre, that posynous bale did breede
To all, that on him lookt without good heed,
And secretly his enemies did slay (4.8.38-39)

Somebody's been dipping into the red kryptonite...

Okay fine

I know you might not have believed me, but I was serious as a heart attack, y'all.

How about you hit her AOL Music page and check out the two singles thereon. "I Just Want It to Be Over" is the one getting more airplay, but the Kanye-produced "I Changed My Mind" is the better track, chock fuckin' full of handclaps and these little vocal runs she does (but they're mid-range and smoky, not high-pitched and irritating). This shit is strong. And it sounds so much better on the album itself, too.

It is about damn time

That someone took a pitcher of these rock-ass posters on the city bus that have been cracking me up for three years straight. The thing no one's commented on yet are that kid's freakishly large feet. Shaq his daddy?

Get your wordplay straight

Storm Tuber is much funnier and closer to the original phonetically.

Continued viewing

Through season 2 of Smallville now and into season 3, due to an extremely productive weekend. One of the best things about being a grown-up and having a lawn to take care of and living in Georgia is that when it rains you don't have to do jack and you feel a tremendous sense of relief at such because you have a real, valid excuse. It's like a snow day every other weekend.

Anyway. So season 2 is a pretty big step up from season 1, in that it's way more about the arc and considerably less reliant on kryptonite. It's still not as big-picture arc as most of the stuff I'm super into, but it's less episodic than season 1. There has been brief discussion within Team Brown about how the show is not reliant at all on gratuitous skimpily clothed ladies but takes every possible opportunity to have Clark rip off his shirt (plus super-cheesy carefully camouflaged shot of him with all his clothes burned off with flames leaping in all the right places). Is it in Kristin Kreuk's contract that she has to wear the most unflattering matronly swimsuit? Seriously, people. Also, John Glover can ham with the best of 'em. On a show with so many stupid characters, one is naturally inclined to root for the few people who are actually smart. Plus Clark. Because he's both Superman and cute.

Also also, it has been theorized that perhaps the Kents are going bankrupt continually not because of the state of small farming in this country but rather because of the incredible expense of keeping Clark in shirts. Sometimes he'll go through three in a single episode. I hope they buy in bulk.

Hobbyhorse

Because it's so hard for me to stay away.

1) Naughty UGA students. Don't scalp your tickets! One does wonder slightly how in the holy name of fuck they're planning on enforcing this, but no matter. Tough talk will surely do the job.

2) You thought the Barrow-Burns catfight was over? Oh, dude. You don't know what's what.

3) Technical college presidents to be barred from hiring family members. No word on the presidents of those colleges that don't teach actual skills.

4) Book allowance from HOPE probably won't be cut.

State Rep. Quincy Murphy of Augusta, a member of the House Higher Education Committee, said he believes most lawmakers, including himself, voted in favor of passing the HOPE bill because they were shown data that Georgia's lottery sales would soon plateau and HOPE needed safeguarding.

"I guess there was some paranoia coming from the fact that South Carolina had introduced a lottery system," Murphy said.

However, now that lottery revenue is continuing to grow, Murphy said he would be in favor of repealing the legislation that would allow cuts to HOPE in the event of declining reserves.

Not that there's a flaw in the logic here or anything.

5) Things like this might be where the ACC Commission should direct their attention.

6) Town, gown like each other more than they used to. Or at least talk to each other now.

7) ABH theorizing that McCarter might not run for mayor after all. (Also, slight correction to Jordan's comments of last week.)

8) More calling bullshit on the idea that showering tax breaks on employers leads to jobs.

Next on the agenda is legislation to eliminate corporate income taxes altogether.

"Simplifying Georgia's corporate tax system will help companies increase investment, expand facilities, and hire more Georgians," said Shane Hix, Perdue's spokesman.

Take note of that. Simplifying = eliminating.

9) Jail not actually more dangerous. Candidates are applying for the open positions.

10) ABH still feels need to explain what "bling bling" means.

11) Shipp wants Cleland to run for Lieut Gov. Thinks he was too liberal previously. Thompson will take on all comers. And even I agree. Mike Adams ain't Hitler.

12) ABH won't print mindless Muslim bashing.

13) AJC has article on huge recreation centers (Ramsey among them), esp at public colleges.

Critics say the centers and other nonacademic perks are driving up the cost of education. In 2004, a proposed midyear tuition increase drove Georgia students to the state Capitol, where they handed in a petition against the increase signed by 35,000 students, about 14 percent of the state university system's enrollment.

This is a gross mischaracterization, on pretty much all counts. Sure, lots of these centers were built when the state was flush with cash and passing it along to universities, and perhaps some of that money could've been retained just in case things weren't always hunky-dory, but the relationship is loose at best and certainly not explicit in the way this makes it sound.

[bugmenot ABH; bugmenot AJC]

Note

My pets,

Things are darn busy today, so there may not be much here. Then again, my super-speed a la Clark Kent may kick in.

Holy crap, kids!

Yo. Keyshia Cole.

Not only is she charismatic and has a killer rack, but her album is unbelievably well produced, and she can sing. Really really. This shit is fierce.

Concurrence

Eppy's right and so is Lemon-Red, the latter of whom (which?) has put up Lady Sovereign's "9-5" for your listening pleasure. You might think it's impossible for there to be another song deserving to share the title of the Dolly Parton track, but dude. This ode to laziness is bouncy, funny, and great. The only thing wrong with it is that we all work 8 to 5 these days. Maybe things are different in the UK.

You might

Think this story about Ali G/Sacha Baron Cohen is serious. It certainly reads that way for inches and inches.... until you hit the sentence that begins the last paragraph.

Hobbyhorse

1) ABH editorial supports cameras downtown, has never heard of cost-benefit ratios. Sure, there are points granted to logic, but it admits that that's not really the point. Yay! Let's hear it for hysteria, fear-mongering, invasion of privacy, and waste of taxpayer dollars all wrapped up in 15 neat little packages.

2) This letter takes Dodson to task over his lack of disclosure and explains to ABH that if a candidate won't explain what his positions are, then recourse to the ballot box is of no use. (I've got a response in, affirming this; we'll see if it makes it in or not.)

3) Education prof clearly supports his dean.

4) ARMC does indeed want the Rondavel site, as a temporary parking lot while they construct a deck elsewhere. Is promising it won't build there. People are nervous nonetheless.

5) People are annoyed with the way the court system works.

6) Dude in Georgia's sports medicine department is trying to make sure spearing penalties are enforced in football.

7) Heidi is nice!

[bugmenot ABH]

OSMFS

Oh shit, my friend saw Owen Wilson drinkin' at the Four Seasons! Of course, I wasn't there--according to her, all the ladies in the place were going over to him and he was very nice and verrry good-looking in person.

New York peeps have it made.

Average It Up (U.S.)

1) Natasha Bedingfield, "These Words" -- Whoa! World of difference from her previous song covered on here. This is jumpy and pop and, while it's still got faux soul, it makes me think of someone ripping off the Jacksons in the best way ever (i.e., Maroon 5?). Those emphasized beats that smack you right in the face should maybe be required in every song recorded. Solidly a 7 and possibly reaching an 8. (video here)

2) Beck, "Girl" -- Covered and rated. Bumping up to a 6 after a week of thinking about it.

3) Gwen Stefani, "Cool" -- One of the tracks I was pleased to encounter on the album before hearing the single released. I get the Cyndi Lauper comparisons, but I hear Madonna (Who's That Girl-era) a little more. This is how you make it work if you have a squeaky voice: You pitch the keyboards up and up, and suddenly it all sounds right together. Video takes a while to work its way around to the actual song, but hey, she's been doing that lately, so I'll let it pass. 6. (AOL Music has it)

4) R. Kelly feat. The Game, "Playas Only" -- Sort of covered, but more the video than the song, which I'm only giving a 4.

5) Cliched chord progression and overly dramatic vocals, but it's not that bad, especially on parts of the chorus (the "oh chariot" bits). Seems like it's reaching for rock cred and sensitivity. 3. (it'll play if you go to his site)

6) Boyz n Da Hood, "Dem Boyz" -- Matt Chesnut points out the first thing you'll think when you hear this, which is how much the beat sounds like a T.I. one (esp "U Don't Know Me"), but while these guys are okay, they don't have his nimble verbal skills. The fact that they have choreography is a slight point in their favor, but this just isn't that great. 4. (video here)

Ah, the expected

If you were wondering, which I know you weren't, Katie won Cooking Under Fire, in the absence of any twist at all. She seems like a fine cook, but the judges continued to heap huge piles of slack on her, disregarding her issues with cooking stuff on time for the past few episodes and her lack of a dessert in her six-course menu because she forgot something on her shopping list. Some things are only important in some contexts, when they produce the result desired.

There's also a Q&A at WaPo with the three finalists. It's kind of a nightmare in formatting, and it seems as though the same questions get asked over and over (lots of girl power hoo-ha), but there are some interesting bits, such as questions on what to serve a panda. [bugmenot]

Movie Diary

In the Realms of the Unreal: Documentary on outsider artist Henry Darger, who Team Brown is a huge fan of. It has both strengths and weaknesses, both resulting from tweaking of the form. Juxtaposes the few people who knew him providing completely contradictory accounts of this and that (including whether his last name was pronounced with a hard or soft G), which shows the mystery of this recluse nicely. She also weaves the threads of what is known of his life (much drawn from his autobiography) together with his 15K-page novel and the illustrations for it that make up his body of work, letting you see connections through concerns that crop up in both. But there is rather too much of the animated stuff and the story of the novel and not nearly enough about the art or the man. When you only talk to four people, it's hard to get much of a picture, and though she expressed a desire not to make the traditional talking heads doc, there are advantages to that form. I'd like to see someone from the American Folk Art Museum talk about how they acquired the paintings they have and how the art fits into a tradition (or doesn't). Are these the only people who ever met the guy? Sure, he didn't get out much, but that seems doubtful. And there are times when she confuses the issue too much wrt what really happened to him versus what happens in his novel (in which there is a character with his name). There's only one shot, I believe, where you can see an entire painting, as opposed to details, and focusing too closely doesn't show the scope of his art or his particular genius at composition. And there's one bizarre sequence where animated characters from his paintings show up in an ephemeral film touting Chicago's wonders in the 1960s for no reason other than that it seems to have amused the director. Still, it's interesting and it does show more than I've seen elsewhere, esp of the overarching plot of the novel, and it doesn't present Darger as a nutjob or a sicko, so there's something to be said for that. And the art itself shines through.